Men, would you get snipped...? (marriage, woman, young, cancer)
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I know you're right. The only problem is finding someone who will do it on someone so young. Most doctors won't do it because they think you'll "change your mind."
That's true, you probably won't be able to find a doctor to do it until you're at least 25. One reason is that the tubes can heal over time, or form another passage through scar tissue. That's more likely to happen if you have your tubes tied when you're under 30.
Since you've already said in other posts that you're not having sex before marriage, right now the tubal is not a necessity. It would really just be making a statement.
A lot of women have problems after having their tubes tied. I didn't think of researching it before I had mine done...if I had read everything beforehand, I probably would have chosen not to have it done.
I should give an example since I'm not the man but I gave an answer...When my husband and I married, I had a 16-year-old son and my husband had never had children. We had one child and surprised ourselves by wanting one more. We knew that would be "it" for us and debated vasectomy v. TL.
I decided it should be me, since I had already had three children, was almost in my 40s at the time, had been a parent for 20 years already and knew I didn't want more children no matter what happened. I knew I did not want to be in my 40s and pregnant. Period. End of story.
OTOH, what if I suddenly dropped dead or ran off to become a showgirl or whatever happened, and my husband, who had only been a parent for a couple years by then and had just gotten started on his parenting journey, and was (is) four years younger than I besides and therefore could potentially be more enthusiastic about starting over with a new baby, met someone who did want a child?
On the fence on this one, leaning toward most likely not...mainly because I've read that the vasectomy is *usually* reversible, sometimes, it is not always so...
On the fence on this one, leaning toward most likely not...mainly because I've read that the vasectomy is *usually* reversible, sometimes, it is not always so...
The longer it's been, the less reversible it is. I don't think it's fair to ask a guy for that. Like JerZ said, anything can happen to everybody and just because the couple is done having kids doesn't mean that some day the guy may not want/need to have them with someone else.
I know you're right. The only problem is finding someone who will do it on someone so young. Most doctors won't do it because they think you'll "change your mind."
You can always get an IUD....very similar in terms of reliability.
I know you're right. The only problem is finding someone who will do it on someone so young. Most doctors won't do it because they think you'll "change your mind."
Start with Planned Parenthood. You might get the same tentative attitude, considering your age, but they can advise you other forms of birth control besides the pill
You can then start building something of a "resume" showing that you have researched the matter and are of the right frame of mind to prove that you are absolutely sure of your decision.
ETA: as to the question of asking the male partner in the relationship? My then-fiance got snipped instead of me having a tubal. He said it was my wedding present But, this was also the 80s. The tubal procedure was more invasive for women then with a longer recovery period and more expensive - something we considered since my medical insurance wouldn't cover it. So, there are the rare men who will consider it. I'd say that most would say no. The Sacred Orbs are too precious and they don't want anyone waving a sharp object around them.
These days, it's not even an issue for me. I've hit the egg rot stage anyway. They're so old any successful fertilization would probably end up a kid with flippers.
Last edited by silverwing; 05-25-2011 at 09:05 PM..
I think I'm the only guy in this thread that's willing to get it snipped.
After I've made a few, I wouldn't want anymore. I think it's also a display of dedication to the wife showing that she's really the last person you'd want to be with.
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But, this was also the 80s. The tubal procedure was more invasive for women then with a longer recovery period and more expensive - something we considered since my medical insurance wouldn't cover it. So, there are the rare men who will consider it. I'd say that most would say no. The Sacred Orbs are too precious and they don't want anyone waving a sharp object around them.
