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Personally I think it's because the optimists are oblivious, and don't actually care about your situation.....They don't seem to understand that it is action, not optimism that matters... I think people who lead sheltered lives don't know anything.
I'm a realist, but I can be very optimistic at times. I don't see optimism as an unrelentingly cheery demeanor, but rather as the general view that hard times can work to your advantage. If someone I know is going through hard times I generally try to support them, even if it is only with an open ear and an open mind. My opinion is that optimists emphasize the good in the worst of situations. Anyone who blindly forces the "it will be ok" line down your throat is either not really listening or doesn't really care.
"optimism-bias". Wiki it. Humans are not evil for it, we're just predisposed to pollyanna behavior. It's a common coping mechanism. It doesn't really warrant the self-evident virtue some people like to push to the masses about optimism. Bad chit happens to good people all the time, all optimism does in that case is appease others that don't like hearing other people complain. Optimism is meant to appease your selfish neighbor who doesn't want to hear it, it's not really for your own edification....
Ehh crap. I just ended up in the hospital and had emergency surgery. After I diagnosed myself. All the while being jeered at by the "optimists" who keep telling me that I'm being paranoid. Since I got hospitalized I've received well wishes from virtually everyone except the "optimists" which makes me think that they were more concerned about being right about their life philosophy than about my well being. One of them had the gall to continue to badger me about my "pessimistic attitude" even after I was hospitalized. I am trying my best to ignore this person (who is unfortunately family).
Case in point. I am NOT PESSIMISTIC! I just have really bad juju and I'm very aware that God, prayers, and hope are helpful coping devices, but they won't keep me alive as long as trusting my medical instincts. Thinking about it makes me annoyed so I have to vent or else I'll bust my stitches.
While it can be annoying optimism is alot better than dwelling in the negative...
Always hope for the best but expect the worst...
That is a personal saying for me. There is only a certain amount of worrying one can do...and while being worried is okay, it is a feeling it is neither wrong or right you need to ask yourself "Where has my worrying over a certain issue or situation gotten me?"
There always comes a time when being optimistic is all you have...
Assume that you just got some bad news. And the first reaction that many people have is, "Oh I'm sure you will be fine." Does that make you feel better or does that make you annoyed?
I don't understand why some people must rub optimism in everyone's face. Everyone has coping mechanisms and worrying isn't necessarily a bad thing if it isn't disruptive to your daily function. Yet people feel the need to spin things in a positive light all the time. Why is that?
Personally I think it's because the optimists are oblivious, and don't actually care about your situation. Easier to pretend that everything is peachy. They don't seem to understand that it is action, not optimism that matters.
The last time somebody told me everything was gonna be fine, I almost died. I think people who lead sheltered lives don't know anything. But they should learn how to keep their mouths closed -- it is so obnoxious to minimize another person's problems. If they can't handle negativity they should never ask people how they are doing.
I don't know any pessimists so I've never encountered this problem before.
[I think the solution to your problem is to surround yourself with pessimists]
While it can be annoying optimism is alot better than dwelling in the negative...
Always hope for the best but expect the worst...
That is a personal saying for me. There is only a certain amount of worrying one can do...and while being worried is okay, it is a feeling it is neither wrong or right you need to ask yourself "Where has my worrying over a certain issue or situation gotten me?"
There always comes a time when being optimistic is all you have...
I agree that we should hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. I think sometimes people who don't have enough knowledge about something they tend to latch onto blind optimism as a safety mechanism - and they do not prepare themselves at all. Had I done that in this instance, my outcome would have been very bad. You have to use your brain and logic to protect yourself, without becoming paranoid and dysfunctional of course.
I guess the time has now come where I only have optimism left since my fears have already come to pass - though I did save myself from the very worst outcome by being so vigilant and educating myself in the weeks ahead.
In some ways this is better because I can only focus on getting from one day to the next. I hardly feel distressed or sad because I've prepared myself already. Being realistic and logical is the best option for me to remain sane, happy, and proactive. I think some people just don't respect this way of thinking and continue to label me as a pessimist. I don't get why they have to push their agenda on me - truly baffling.
I agree that we should hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. I think sometimes people who don't have enough knowledge about something they tend to latch onto blind optimism as a safety mechanism - and they do not prepare themselves at all. Had I done that in this instance, my outcome would have been very bad. You have to use your brain and logic to protect yourself, without becoming paranoid and dysfunctional of course.
I guess the time has now come where I only have optimism left since my fears have already come to pass - though I did save myself from the very worst outcome by being so vigilant and educating myself in the weeks ahead.
In some ways this is better because I can only focus on getting from one day to the next. I hardly feel distressed or sad because I've prepared myself already. Being realistic and logical is the best option for me to remain sane, happy, and proactive. I think some people just don't respect this way of thinking and continue to label me as a pessimist. I don't get why they have to push their agenda on me - truly baffling.
Miyu...
I am not exactly sure what you have gone through or what you are going through and I am not going to pretend I do..
I do know that sometimes when one is feeling down and they have been faced extreme adversity or life changing issues it is a personal battle and only they know what they are experiencing and hearing optimistic words can be the last thing they want to hear because only they know how grave the situation is...
Being optimistic is a good thing but one needs to know when this is not going to work when dealing with some persons or situation often times leading an ear and asking what the person needs from them works wonders...but in reality they do not mean harm they are trying to remain optimistic in hopes of raising your spirits..
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