Anyone have a best friend of the opposite sex and it's truely platonic? (boyfriend, married)
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There's one guy I've been friends with for 12 years now. We decided at one point to try to date...made it two days and it was just too freakin weird, nothing there but friendship. He's now marrying one of my other friends, I'm a bridemaids in their wedding, and spend lots of time with both of them, together and seperately. Don't know what I'd do without him!
We're "comfortable" with each other, and we all know each other, so it's a bit like an old-school hippie commune. Of course you have to balance out the mixture with those pesky NON-platonic relationships, also...
...purely in the interests of fairness, of course. Achieving a greater union with the great Universal Yin/Yang or something like that.
Anyone have a best friend of the opposite sex and it's truly platonic? Really. Just best friends who can talk and share anything. Nothing past a hug. I'm thinking more of a friendship that has some time behind it. Not some one you met a couple weeks ago. Whataya think?
Yes, my best friend in college was a guy...he is still my friend now, but we aren't as close because we live far away from each other. But he still feels like family to me...and when we see each other, we always just pick up where we left off like nothing has changed.
This topic comes up here fairly often. The predictable responses (I assume from people no more than 20 years old), are, "No! It's impossible, the man always wants sex!" or "it's dangerous!"
What nonsense. My best friend for 25 years is a male. We don't have sex and no interest to. My husband's best friend is female and totally platonic.
For happily married couples who don't cheat, there's no problem with having opposite-gender friends. And those who claim there is obviously have been cheated upon or have the maturity level of a Middle School kid.
None what so-ever. I don't believe in opposite-sex friendships. It's dangerous for heterosexual couples.
I guess so...
I clearly was wanting platonic only with an ex-coworker (I left for much greener pastures) who definitely wasn't needing a paper bag for me to be seen anywhere near her--and the two kids she still had living under her roof would have made sure of that no doubt--but she went MIA on me and told me that she didn't want me to get the "wrong message".
I'm not sure what "wrong message", since I don't remember things ever getting that steamy, but I guess "chick logic" (another topic thread, which may be nearby, but since I'm not a frequenter here in this forum, who knows...) reared its head and I pretty much told her to have a nice life and I didn't need that garbage.
Props if you can pull this deed off, but finding personable women my in age bracket who haven't been dumbed down by the text message era is tough. Hell, this one was 41 that I threw gas and a match on (figuratively, of course) just to finish her off...should have been a safe risk.
I had a couple female "best friends" when I was single.
One of them I simply wasn't attracted to, but I don't believe the feeling was mutual, and there was a bit of tension there -- especially when I got serious with my (now) wife. But we hung out together constantly. She had "her room" in my house when she'd stay over. Hi and g-bye hugs was as far as it ever went.
And the other one -- I think the roles may have been reversed. We were both considering moving to Alaska, and she suggested that we share an apartment "as friends only". I had a little thing for her, and while keeping my hands off of her wasn't too difficult, it would have been tough to witness her bringing male friends home with her. And then I had a little fling with her friend (who she set me up with) that immediately went sour, and that pretty much ended our friendly relationship.
I think it can be done, but it's probably rare that it works out well.
Excluding the women I work with, Ive slept with almost every woman I know.
I really have.
Before I got married the only reason I would even consider hanging out with a woman is for sex.
Nothing else.
I'm not calling a woman on the phone to chit-chat about some crap I don't care about.
NO--I don't wanna go to the movies....I wanna have sex with you.
NO--I don't wanna go to a concert...I wanna have sex with you.
NO--I don't wanna do ANYTHING with you but have sex.
Was I a pig? Yes.
But thats what your supposed to do BEFORE you get married. And I did it.
Make no mistake ladies.....we want sex.
All my long-term friendships are with men.
Sorry.
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