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There have been some scams on some of the dating sites but I've used Match.com and I feel they're a legitimate operation. The scams on dating sites are not from the company itself for the most part but from individuals who are obviously trying to find an American husband so they can move out of some hell hole in Eastern Europe or elsewhere or from young women who are looking for a guy to take care of them, in other words support them by paying their bills. The majority of emails I received fell into one of these two categories but I did also date a couple of women so I believe it's worth trying. I also agree that you need to do some major work on your profile and be realistic about your expectations.
Thanks for the responses. A few things. I chose to try an online dating site because of my work hours are all over the place and not favorable to weekends. As far as my profile, I mention nothing about my ex or come off as being bitter or anthing like that. My pics all have smiles. I have noticed I am received much better in person. Maybe it's my personality or facial expressions, whatever it is woman seem to respond better. I also did lower my standards and still nothing. I've emailed a mix of women. I did put in the profile that I have a kid and that she lives at home. So perhaps that is a turn off. She is 11 and she lives with me. I'll give plenty of fish a shot. Or maybe I'll meet someone at a supermarket or something. Thanks again.
I think I wasted $80. I've sent out 27 emails and 130 winks with only 1 response that was "hi" and haven't heard anything since. I try to write something geared towards each person. My marriage ended by being cheated on(with at least the 4th person) which was enough of a blow to the self esteem. My ex is a very selfish, self centered person who doesn't care who she hurts and what damage she causes. But now this is kicking me while I'm down. I knew not to do it, but stupidly I did. I am always received better in person. I am not even sure why I am posting this. I guess out of frustration. I need to vent or something. Maybe I need to adjust my standards, I haven't dated since I was 19. I am 34 now and I have wasted my life away with that woman. I am loyal to fault. She has MS and I have taken care of her on her bad days and stood by her through her drug addictions. She is very, very attractive but she is ugly on the inside. From seeing us together you would say she was out of my league. But if you knew what I had to deal with you would say I was too good for her. LOL, this post took a turn. Anyway, I don't even know.
I love how people blame Match for their lack of success. This is like going into a bar, coming up empty, and then blaming the bar.
Thanks for the responses. A few things. I chose to try an online dating site because of my work hours are all over the place and not favorable to weekends. As far as my profile, I mention nothing about my ex or come off as being bitter or anthing like that. My pics all have smiles. I have noticed I am received much better in person. Maybe it's my personality or facial expressions, whatever it is woman seem to respond better. I also did lower my standards and still nothing. I've emailed a mix of women. I did put in the profile that I have a kid and that she lives at home. So perhaps that is a turn off. She is 11 and she lives with me. I'll give plenty of fish a shot. Or maybe I'll meet someone at a supermarket or something. Thanks again.
You need to have a few women look at your profile and give you honest feedback. I doubt it's the child, unless you are solely targeting women in their 20s.
You need to have a few women look at your profile and give you honest feedback. I doubt it's the child, unless you are solely targeting women in their 20s.
Very good point. One thing that irks me about these sites is the guys always want someone 10 years younger than they are or up to one year younger most of the time. So if the OP is 33 or 34 (don't recall), I do hope the OP is casting the net a bit wider to include more "mature" women who might not mind someone with a child FT. No way in my 20s would I have wanted to take that on.
Very good point. One thing that irks me about these sites is the guys always want someone 10 years younger than they are or up to one year younger most of the time. So if the OP is 33 or 34 (don't recall), I do hope the OP is casting the net a bit wider to include more "mature" women who might not mind someone with a child FT. No way in my 20s would I have wanted to take that on.
Yes, and for whatever reason, I see this happen on Match.com more than any other site. The chance of finding a 25 year old woman willing to date a 35 year old man with an 11 year old kid, is between slim and none. Hell I'm 41 and I would be cautious - newly divorced parents because mom was unfaithful... the kid probably has some emotional problems as a result.
You're 34, life is not over. Don't be 34 going on 84! You said it yourself that she was an ugly person on the inside anyway. At least you recognized that. Your bitterness does shine through. That is going to be a huge turn off. You can't move forward if you're still hung up on the past. It might be a good idea to take some time and work on yourself before you enter the dating scene. When it comes to good looking people of either sex they all have one thing in common, when it comes to dating the better looking the person, the more demanding they are when it comes to dating. Sure, there are exceptions, but very rarely does the hot girl date the dude with the beer gut and coke bottle glasses. Not saying that's what you are, but good looking people RARELY date down. It just doesn't work that way. I lump Match.com and PUAs into the same category. THEY ARE OUT TO MAKE MONEY!!! There's no way a computer can predict or create chemistry.
I'm on match right now. This guy asked me to meet him for a drink after already having plans to hang out with his friends. I decided against it and at the last minute, my brother was there so I met up with him. Match boy called my name out and we had a one minute conversation. He sent me an email the next day that I was too uptight for his personality..LMAO!!! I didn't realize you could make such a quick judgement in a minute like that...NEXT!
I think I wasted $80. I've sent out 27 emails and 130 winks with only 1 response that was "hi" and haven't heard anything since. I try to write something geared towards each person. My marriage ended by being cheated on(with at least the 4th person) which was enough of a blow to the self esteem. My ex is a very selfish, self centered person who doesn't care who she hurts and what damage she causes. But now this is kicking me while I'm down. I knew not to do it, but stupidly I did. I am always received better in person. I am not even sure why I am posting this. I guess out of frustration. I need to vent or something. Maybe I need to adjust my standards, I haven't dated since I was 19. I am 34 now and I have wasted my life away with that woman. I am loyal to fault. She has MS and I have taken care of her on her bad days and stood by her through her drug addictions. She is very, very attractive but she is ugly on the inside. From seeing us together you would say she was out of my league. But if you knew what I had to deal with you would say I was too good for her. LOL, this post took a turn. Anyway, I don't even know.
It's so clear to me that you're bitter and hurt by what your wife did to you. You should not be online dating until you have resolved this pain you are having. Women can smell that $hit a mile away dude. Sorry but true. If you come across like that in your match profile, it's clear why you're not ready to date. I would just accept the fact that you wasted that money, take your profile down, resolve your own internal issues before putting yourself out there. Once you can look in the mirror and love yourself AND look at women without feeling like they are all going to turn out like your ex wife, then and only then will you be ready to date.
A friend of mine just moved in with her boyfriend, who she met on match.com. I know three married couples who met on eharmony and three who met on Yahoo personals.
It happens. I think a lot of it is just luck and timing.
fwiw, when I have canceled my membership I have never ever received winks or e-mails from "hot guys" to try to lure me back. Not once - I think people make that stuff up, at least for match.com which I've found to be legitimate.
Plenty of Fish on the other hand... well, you get what you pay for
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