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If I flaked on an RSVP, or didn't show up when I said I would (true emergencies excepted as long as regrets are appropriately tendered), I would ASSUME that I just lost myself a friend, to be honest. So rude.
Thanks for the words, folks. I appreciate the messages and shared experiences. And WFW&P, I have hosted MANY events. I love to entertain and while it is true I have experienced having some people not show or respond, it is usually only a few and of those they at least call a day or so later to let me know why they couldn't make it. It's the numbers with this one for me. I am sure this happens all over and I wasn't just inferring here in Charlotte. What I am trying to determine is if it actually IS something people here do. A native Charlottean and close friend of mind told me it is considered "rude" to say no to an invitation. Is this true? I don't know. It may be just a sign of the times in which social graces such as this are ignored. Either way, it's just inconsiderate. I think the thing to to is not extend an invite to those who were rude and yes, kill them with kindness. :-)
Ugh, so frustrating. I hate it when people do that. Common courtesy would be to call or at least send an email afterward (So sorry I didn't make it, but xyz happened and I couldn't get there). Only thing that's worse is when an invited guest brings other people you didn't plan for and you run out of food, party favors (for kids' parties), etc... I hate it when parents bring uninvited siblings to parties and expect you to provide them with lunch, cake, and whatever the featured activity may be (you usually have to pay by the person). People can be so rude; I blame it on bad breeding.
CMMom, I had a bday party for one of my children and a woman brought her 2 other kids to the party. I felt embarrassed when she said "hey, can they stay? I have to run some errands". Ugh. I wouldn't have cared if it were at my home, but it was at a bouncy entertainment place and I had to pay per child. Of course, i didn't have a goody bag for either sibling, both of whom through fits in front of everyone. I guess nothing should surprise me anymore, but yet things like this do! :-)
CMMom, I had a bday party for one of my children and a woman brought her 2 other kids to the party. I felt embarrassed when she said "hey, can they stay? I have to run some errands". Ugh. I wouldn't have cared if it were at my home, but it was at a bouncy entertainment place and I had to pay per child. Of course, i didn't have a goody bag for either sibling, both of whom through fits in front of everyone. I guess nothing should surprise me anymore, but yet things like this do! :-)
I think a dose of pepper spray would take care of that problem once and for all.
Yes, agree with many others. Never invite them again but don't look at it as being rude back to them. Look at it as giving them what they want, to never be invited again.
You will find that this is common here. Even those who actually respond may not come. It is quite frustrating.
For my son's wedding, we had 100 respond that they were coming. I doubled it, due to the other lack of responses. Only 35 actually showed up. I had catered the wedding the homeless shelter ate quite well that day!
(we were having a true sit-down dinner)
I don't know what to do in response. It is maddening, to be sure!
Your positive response to such a nasty occurrence tells me that perhaps you've missed the gift that was given to you - on the day of your joining with your loved one you were also helping scores of unfortunates.
I used to always be the first to RSVP, but after a while, I got tired of only seeing "close" friends who constantly said/say, "you're like family" only when it's a gift and check event, so I stopped being the 1st to RSVP, and just recently, I forgot all about a recent thing coming up and at the last minute, I sent a text (haaa) "Sorry, not coming".
I'm sure your story is different, but I just feel as though whenever I'm invited to something it's never "just because"~ to come and hang out, have fun, do nothing but chat, relax and sip wine- it's for a function, event, and something that requires a gift and check.
I got tired of always being the one to chase down people to say hello, and never getting a call back, unless it's to gossip about someone, dog sit, babysit, or do them a favor.
I'm done. And, like I said, I'm sure all your stories are different than mine ... I'm a single girl with a lot of "married," and "taken," friends- it seems as though when you're single, no one wants to hang out with you ... like I'm going to steal their man. Please.
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