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Well, you seem like a witty dude, seem to have a lot going for you.
I fear I'd probably end up cutting myself off. I have a natural tendency to be an introvert anyways, so it wouldn't be a stretch for me to be a hermit.
I think in a way, the web has given people, especially older people that are alone, it's given them a social outlet so to speak. A way to connect with others. Sometimes just a simple post on a forum or chatting via IM with others is a good way to keep oneself in the game so to speak.....
No one grows up and and aspires to be the weirdo person with 50 cats......
LOL, I have to tell you my ex MIL is such a person (with 50 cats). Do you have 50 cats? I have one and that is plenty.
Oh my gosh, don't you get lonely? I'm curious and don't mean to pry, but is it because mean people suck or just a general distrust of people or a bad history with people or would you rather not say?
I guess for me it's been a combo of a lot of things, but mostly just stepping back and really looking at how I got where I ended up and the long term relationships of my life and the tapes that play in my head that are so automatic that need to be reprogrammed. Throw a really bad relationship in there and a death and it'll make one be a hermit for awhile.
I've always been painfully shy, the thing is, with extroverted people they need to be with people, so that's what they seek out. Whereas introverts it takes so much out of us just to be social, you have no idea unless you are one yourself. Everytime we open our mouths, we feel like we're being judged. My last relationship had so much drama, I just needed quiet time to myself for a while, it just went on for a long while! I should have mentioned before that I also have a beautiful, smart, loving daughter, so I'm not alone even though she's going to college soon. And I have my immediate family, but that's about it. Sure I get lonely, but what can I do? There are worse things in the world, I just want to be able to support myself and I'll be good!
yeah I often go in and out of hermit mode, as I need it
People get use to it, once they realise its not about them
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VegasMJ
Lol @ all the people claiming that being a hermit is so high and mighty, and better than being social like the rest of society. A hermit is a hermit, it's not cool, and doesn't make you or your life better. Find some better friends.
Lol @ all the people claiming that being a hermit is so high and mighty, and better than being social like the rest of society. A hermit is a hermit, it's not cool, and doesn't make you or your life better. Find some better friends.
Hermits and introversion, in a million years isn't because people think that they are cool...........or being high and mighty.......
I am too busy to even think about "going into hermit mode". I simply don't hang out with anyone. And I don't care! I talk to people at work when there is downtime and it fulfills my social life. It baffles me that this is actually something that is contemplated and carried out for a period of time. What do you do when you leave hermit mode anyways?
And do you ignore people at work if you are hermitting? Cuz that would be kinda rude.
Maybe I don't understand the concept because I am already too deep in hermit mode.
a break is ok, but hermitting means ur going bye bye for a while. It isn't a solution and unless you are comfortable with this more so then being outside, it pretty much is just a fear reaction. You fear getting hurt or rejected so you hide so no one has the chance.
What will happen is either youll get tired of being a hermit and stop, or youll stay a hermit and be lonely and unhappy and what social skills you had will degrade even more. Being a hermit will not help you reach social skill nirvana. Ever heard the phrase "use it or lose it?" I suggest you get the book "how to make friends and influence people" by dale carnegie.
Also OP there is a difference between being introverted and being socially disfunctional. A large percentage of the population is introverted. A small percentage is truly socially disfunctional.
a break is ok, but hermitting means ur going bye bye for a while. It isn't a solution and unless you are comfortable with this more so then being outside, it pretty much is just a fear reaction. You fear getting hurt or rejected so you hide so no one has the chance.
What will happen is either youll get tired of being a hermit and stop, or youll stay a hermit and be lonely and unhappy and what social skills you had will degrade even more. Being a hermit will not help you reach social skill nirvana. Ever heard the phrase "use it or lose it?" I suggest you get the book "how to make friends and influence people" by dale carnegie.
Also OP there is a difference between being introverted and being socially disfunctional. A large percentage of the population is introverted. A small percentage is truly socially disfunctional.
Interesting post. Interesting way of looking at hermitage. I agree with your assessment in paragraph two, except I don't think anyone does this thinking about social skills at all. In fact, it never entered my mind. And while I agree with the use it or lose it principle in a general sense, I think one either has social skills or does not by a certain age. I think it's' probably a spectrum deal, and I think of autism when I write this. And I'll pass on the book, but appreciate the suggestion. I am confident that when and if I choose to break my solitude, I'll do just fine.
Also, as an INFP myself, I do know what an introvert is. It's more about where you get your energy than what people normally would say as in "he or she is quiet." It's also a preference for depth over breadth. Did you know a disproportionate number of those on the Net are introverts? Makes sense. And it's only 25 percent of the population of the US (could be world for all I know) that are introverts living in an extraverted world, which makes it tough for introverts.
Just curious, but why do you mention being socially dysfunctional?
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I have one and that is plenty.
