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I guess I have fallen into this mode now and am wondering if I am just going to naturally come out of it or what. By nature I'm an introvert, but even this is way introverted for me. I guess I have good reason to just want to withdraw for awhile, but I am wondering if I'll emerge as a butterfly or if this isn't heading down the wrong path.
Granted, "they say" we all grieve differently but it has been nine months since my dad died and there are other things too but I won't get into them here.
So, anyone ever take a timeout from society and life, a self-imposed hermitage (is that a word?) for whatever reason and how did that work for you? If so, how long did it last? I keep telling myself that when I feel like jumping back into life I will, but I just am not there yet. So anyone have any similar experiences to share or thoughts?
Yeah, I am in hermit mode now - have been for about 18 months. I wonder if I have gotten to the point of no return. What I mean is, it's feeling very normal now. I have zero desire to date, or to be with anyone. I suppose I should be concerned. My family is concerned. I always get the comment; "Geez, you're handsome, tall, good job, what the heck is wrong!" I guess I just slipped into this mode after many first and second dates, and walked away thinking; "All the good ones are taken." So, for me, this is the new normal. Could I be heading down a dangerous road and turn into some odd Howard Hughs type? Not sure.
Yeah, I am in hermit mode now - have been for about 18 months. I wonder if I have gotten to the point of no return. What I mean is, it's feeling very normal now. I have zero desire to date, or to be with anyone. I suppose I should be concerned. My family is concerned. I always get the comment; "Geez, you're handsome, tall, good job, what the heck is wrong!" I guess I just slipped into this mode after many first and second dates, and walked away thinking; "All the good ones are taken." So, for me, this is the new normal. Could I be heading down a dangerous road and turn into some odd Howard Hughs type? Not sure.
Wow, 18 months is a long time. You do go to work though, so you're not totally in hermit mode or is that all you do is go to work? And I couldn't remember but it was Howard Hughes and sometimes I ask myself the same question.
I'm not working now so it's really easy for me to fall into the trap of only leaving the house when I feel like it. And for awhile there when dad was in hospice I even started a meetup group but then after he died I cancelled it. I looked at some meetups recently but just am in hermit mode. Seems like too much energy to put myself out there now so I don't. And I've stopped going to another group too as I am just getting more and more into hermit mode.
Part of it is I am contemplating a move (and I don't know where to) and there is so much to do here before I could even list my house so I guess that is my reason right now for not putting forth any effort any longer in this town.
As to your question, I don't know the answer. Maybe you are headed down a dangerous path, maybe not.
I have been too.
Broadband internet and CD don't help one bit.
I've been thinking about advertising for a "housemate" to have someone in here with a daily schedule that would in turn impose more structure on me.
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Part of it is I am contemplating a move (and I don't know where to) and there is so much to do here before I could even list my house so I guess that is my reason right now for not putting forth any effort any longer in this town.
I have a strong personality, and so I can get very irritated with people as a whole on occasion. In that case, I isolate myself and refuse to hang out or date anyone. But those periods of solitude usually don't last too long because I do like hanging out with friends, and I love dating. But when I need some time to sort my own thoughts, and totally get away from everyone, I decide to shut myself at home and be by myself. And since my work is mainly online, I have no problems. But like I said, I try not to get too sucked up in my own self-deliboration to forget who the hell I am.
I am not a hermit, but I have withdrawn from a lot of socializing. I haven't tried to meet anyone new, because that is a distraction and takes time.
I find it helpful not to feel isolated to just get out and do things alone. Join a gym and go find places to walk or hike. Take your laptop to a coffee shop and drink some coffee and surf the net.
I can only think of 2 reasons to withdrawal from socializing. First is depression. Second is to focus on yourself and work. I am doing the second. It's not 100% hermit mode. I'm just not seeking out to go out on most Fri and Sat nights. I'm working some Fri and Sat nights till 8pm or just resting and thinking of my goals. And in reality, I haven't always made the best friends. Some are good and some are not, so I have stayed away from some, because they have too many problems and are a bad influence.
Edit: socializing also cost more than it's worth to me. i'm trying to improve my financial situation. i would rather save a couple hundred bucks a month than go out with friends.
I'd have to say hermit mode is working out quite well for me. I had been in a relationship up until January and just got tired of how needy some people are. Her needs, emotionally were overwhelming at times....whinning when she couldn't see me, whinning when I wouldn't spend the night etc and she was older than I....I'll be starting grad school next year and I'm studying for some industry certifications so I'm extremely focused right now. The funny thing is that I could totally sustain by myself regardless of if I'm focused or not. It just so happens that I get sucked into a relationship without even trying. I wont let that happen again. Not atleast until I finish grad school.
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I'm not working now so it's really easy for me to fall into the trap of only leaving the house when I feel like it. ...
The hardest part of doing nothing is knowing when you're finished... -Mother Goose and Grimm
Months?? Heck wait until it stretches into the centuries before complaining.
I do understand the idea of moving to somewhere new as a impetus for finding things to occupy your day. I have done it repeatedly, sell out, find a raw piece and land and build anew. Eventually the place gets built and than ennui sets in. I than start to look for another place. The problem now is age has made that more difficult. I am probably stuck here in my last residence before I get really ancient and forced into a retirement home. Oh well, it is a nice place I have to live though remote. I could not imagine being a hermit in a urban setting.
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I figure I'll figure it out along the way.
