News, More black women consider 'dating out' (boyfriends, marriage, lover)

[sun queen]

Originally Posted by John1960

RICHMOND, Va. - For years, Toinetta Jones played the dating game by her mom's strict rule.

"Mom always told me, 'Don't you ever bring a white man home,'" recalled Jones, echoing an edict issued by many Southern, black mothers.

But at 37, the Alexandria divorcee has shifted to dating "anyone who asks me out," regardless of race.

"I don't sit around dreaming about the perfect black man I'm going to marry," Jones said.

Black women around the country also are reconsidering deep-seated reservations toward interracial relationships, reservations rooted in America's history of slavery and segregation.

More black women consider 'dating out' - Yahoo! News (broken link)

I agree with u. I think I see more interracial couples where the women look to be of African American heritage. I'm not sure what the reasons are, but I think that a woman especially AA should be at liberty to date any man she pleases regardless of race and if she decides not to cross the "color-line" she is within her right. She should not be looked down upon or judged negatively for her preference or personal choice.

[kmalone4]

I have to say that I've been guilty of that. I've been asked out by white guys and other guys who aren't black and I've turned them down just because they were white. I couldn't even tell you why. I am by no means closed-minded, but I I've done it just the same. I don't think it's taboo so much anymore that black men and white women date one another. What's interesting is that a guy I went to HS with (he's black and almost exclusively dates white girls) said that he can't stand when black women date outside of their race!
The trend is slowly changing. A couple of weeks ago I went to Navy Pier and saw quite a few black women-white men couples. I thought, "good for them". I still can't say that I would do it, though. What am I afraid of? Who knows.

[Tish Thompson]

I was raised to believe that I should "stick with my own kind". The kicker is that I was raised in predominantly white areas. My mother told us we didn't want mixed kids because of the hatred people have against them yada yada yada. I'm not a mixed kid and don't have mixed kids, but I don't think they get picked on any more than anyone else does. That's just part of being a kid.

I think there's more of a perpetuation of fear rather than protection. Times have changed; we can't keep using the 'fear of getting beat' as an excuse to limit ourselves.

[Tish Thompson]

Racism goes all ways. It only becomes a big deal when it involves blacks and whites. I think it's funny what some people consider 'racism'. I was asked out by a guy from a different cultural background than mine, and I told him no. He couldn't get it out of his head that I wouldn't date him because he wasn't black and to this day he calls me racist. I wouldn't date him because of his WIFE.

[Anu2]

I've never understood why some people think it is necessary to only date within their race. I mean, if you have things in common, find each other attractive, and get along, what's the deal? If my parents had only dated within their own race, I wouldn't have been born--the world would have really lost out there! My father is Indian, my mother is Chinese but she's British 'cause she was born and raised in London. I've mainly dated white men but have dated quite a range of ethnicities. Wow, if I had to stay within my race, I'd be screwed. I mean, how many half Indian, half Chinese people are even out there?!

[yayoi]

Originally Posted by Anu2

I've never understood why some people think it is necessary to only date within their race. I mean, if you have things in common, find each other attractive, and get along, what's the deal? If my parents had only dated within their own race, I wouldn't have been born--the world would have really lost out there! My father is Indian, my mother is Chinese but she's British 'cause she was born and raised in London. I've mainly dated white men but have dated quite a range of ethnicities. Wow, if I had to stay within my race, I'd be screwed. I mean, how many half Indian, half Chinese people are even out there?!

Some people have that preference. So what? Don't knock it, just do you.

[Anu2]

Originally Posted by yayoi

Some people have that preference. So what? Don't knock it, just do you.

I didn't think I was being negative or "knocking" anything. I just said that I don't understand why dating outside of one's race would be an issue if one is compatible and attracted to the other person. If ones values are totally different or one is simply not physically attracted to the person, I understand, but saying "no" just on the basis of race doesn't make sense to me. Again, not trying to be negative, I just don't understand the reasoning behind it.

[yayoi]

Originally Posted by Anu2

I didn't think I was being negative or "knocking" anything. I just said that I don't understand why dating outside of one's race would be an issue if one is compatible and attracted to the other person. If ones values are totally different or one is simply not physically attracted to the person, I understand, but saying "no" just on the basis of race doesn't make sense to me. Again, not trying to be negative, I just don't understand the reasoning behind it.

I know you weren't trying to be negative. Neither was I. I just don't understand the big deal about people wanting to stick with their race. To some, sticking to their race is part of their values. Do I agree with it, no, but that's the reality.

[asutton0144]

I think that this day and time women (black women) would love to just find a good man.There are so many black men that are not working, on drugs, abussive, selfish, and some other things......... Oh, wait a minute that could describe all men.

We as black women ( 30 and up ) were taught to stay in our race and look what has happened..............

Just my thoughts and trying to type with one hand (wrist fracture)

[Zippy7fo]

Originally Posted by asutton0144

I think that this day and time women (black women) would love to just find a good man.There are so many black men that are not working, on drugs, abussive, selfish, and some other things......... Oh, wait a minute that could describe all men.

We as black women ( 30 and up ) were taught to stay in our race and look what has happened..............

Just my thoughts and trying to type with one hand (wrist fracture)

Man I'm tired of hearing the excuses from black women. Tons of quality single black men rolling around.