News, More black women consider 'dating out' (mistress, vs, picture)

[itshim]

Originally Posted by max's mama

I noticed that too, just from black women I know. However, the same cannot be said about black men...many of them are very much attracted to white women.

lol...this is another myth beyond belief. I think it's safe to say that most black men generally place black women as their primary choice for just about anything from dating to marriage and "booty calls." From my observation, latin women (particularly Dominicans, Puerto Ricans, other Afro Latinas etc) tend to be a close second. White women are generally a distant 3rd or 4th choice if an attractive Indian, Arab etc are available to them as well. And very few...and I mean very few blondes and redheards even come across the radars of black men. Outside of Africans, or West Indians, I know few to no black men who would even date them, let alone seek them out (no offense to anyone). The idea that there is a general attraction is entirely overblown.



Either way, I still have yet to come across discussions about black men loving white women other than from black women themselves. The only white women who are given honorary recognition are those who resemble black women the most. I personally have never heard black men even bring up what is generally the accepted definition of attractive white female celebrities such as Megan Fox, Kristen Dunce, Drew Barrymore or Rene Zelwegger as being amongst their favorites.

[80sKid]

Originally Posted by John1960

RICHMOND, Va. - For years, Toinetta Jones played the dating game by her mom's strict rule.

"Mom always told me, 'Don't you ever bring a white man home,'" recalled Jones, echoing an edict issued by many Southern, black mothers.

But at 37, the Alexandria divorcee has shifted to dating "anyone who asks me out," regardless of race.

"I don't sit around dreaming about the perfect black man I'm going to marry," Jones said.

Black women around the country also are reconsidering deep-seated reservations toward interracial relationships, reservations rooted in America's history of slavery and segregation.

More black women consider 'dating out' - Yahoo! News (broken link)

Good. Maybe they won't be so angry if they find love.

[max's mama]

Originally Posted by itshim

lol...this is another myth beyond belief. I think it's safe to say that most black men generally place black women as their primary choice for just about anything from dating to marriage and "booty calls." From my observation, latin women (particularly Dominicans, Puerto Ricans, other Afro Latinas etc) tend to be a close second. White women are generally a distant 3rd or 4th choice if an attractive Indian, Arab etc are available to them as well.

I still have yet to come across discussions about black men loving white women other than from black women themselves. The only white women who are given honorary recognition are those who resemble black women the most. I personally have never heard black men even bring up what is generally the accepted definition of attractive white female celebrities such as Megan Fox, Kristen Dunce, Drew Barrymore or Rene Zelwegger as being amonst their favorites.

I obviously speak from my observation only and don't claim it to be a fact...yes, black men generally place black women as their primary choice, yet, I also see so many of them dating white women as well, which is more rare for black women/white men.

BTW: I have yet to see ANY men to claim that Drew Barrymore, Renee Zelwegger or Kirsten Dunst are their favorites.

[max's mama]

And very few...and I mean very few blondes and redheards even come across the radars of black men. Outside of Africans, or West Indians, I know few to no black men who would even date them, let alone seek them out (no offense to anyone). The idea that there is a general attraction is entirely overblown.

Well...I don't know, because the interracial relationships that still stand out in my memory WERE between fair skin, blue eyes, blond hair females and black men.

[itshim]

Originally Posted by max's mama

I obviously speak from my observation only and don't claim it to be a fact...yes, black men generally place black women as their primary choice, yet, I also see so many of them dating white women as well, which is more rare for black women/white men.

I agree, but the two ideas aren't mutually inclusive. "Attraction" at times goes beyond the physical. I can tell you from first hand experience as a black man, that more often than not--white women tend make the first "move" in a social setting which creates the likelyhood that a date and even a relationship may develop a stronger possibility. But again, I never really hear black men themselves claim to have an attraction to white women more than or as often as I hear black women say that they have an attraction to them.

[max's mama]

Originally Posted by itshim

I agree, but the two ideas aren't mutually inclusive. "Attraction" at times goes beyond the physical. I can tell you from first hand experience as a black man, that more often than not--white women tend make the first "move" in a social setting which creates the likelyhood that a date and even a relationship may develop a stronger possibility. But again, I never really hear black men themselves claim to have an attraction to white women more than or as often as I hear black women say that they have an attraction to them.

Obviously, as a black man you have more insight than me, so I will leave it at that...all I was trying to point out that although black women are generally not attracted to white men (although some are, but not majority), there is a higher percentage of black men who are attracted to white women.

[itshim]

Originally Posted by max's mama

Well...I don't know, because the interracial relationships that still stand out in my memory WERE between fair skin, blue eyes, blond hair females and black men.

lol Hey I don't know what to tell you, but from what I've seen most black men ("most" meaning those interested and uninterested in white women) tend to prefer the darker ethnic types and those "built like" a stereotypical black woman. I never hear black men talk, let alone give a second look to the types that are 5'2 110 lbs and stereotypically built like the "average" white woman. The only guys I've known to really date blondes and the very fair skinned had a tendency to be foreigners from West Africa or the West Indies.

[itshim]

Originally Posted by max's mama

Obviously, as a black man you have more insight than me, so I will leave it at that...all I was trying to point out that although black women are generally not attracted to white men (although some are, but not majority), there is a higher percentage of black men who are attracted to white women.

I agree with you there...but I'd also add to the fact that both genders heavily prefer their own.

[max's mama]

Originally Posted by itshim

I agree with you there...but I'd also add to the fact that both genders heavily prefer their own.

Yep, I'm in agreement here...

[Tinawina]

Originally Posted by BajanYankee

Is that your strawwoman argument?

I'll make myself unequivocally clear so that all of the obtuse may understand.

1. The overwhelming majority of "successful" black women have regular ass low status jobs. Accordingly, they date and marry their conventionally low status male equivalents (i.e., mechanics, pipefitters, etc).

2. A small minority of black women have high-powered careers as attorneys and physicians. Their bitterness is the genesis of every article ever written on this subject.

Oh brother. LOL

First of all, it is pretty clear where YOU INDIVIDUALLY stand, since you say it over and over and over again. The post was directed at the group of you posting the variations on usual list if moaning complaints here. The only one I didn't see in this thread (maybe I missed it) that "black women only want to date thugs". It's always something when it comes to whining. Heh.

Originally Posted by BajanYankee

These articles are all prompted by the women who fall into Category #2 who feel that their "success" entitles them to a "successful" black man. That's it. If it weren't for them, we wouldn't even be having this conversation right now. Black men, for the most part, are content with their options, at least to the extent that we don't fuss about them to Diane Sawyer on nationally-televised programs.



I think the media has made it abundantly clear that we're good for nothing (and everyone believes that). I'm just making the point that the women who complain about not finding their "match" are likely not the equivalent of the men they desire. If these women could get over their own thickheadedness, and understand that men don't care about their job and fancy degrees, then they would understand this. If a black, female physician wants the black, male physician, she needs to be bring the full panoply of attributes that men desire to the table, which are, in descending order of importance, beauty, femininity, loyalty, supportiveness, and then smarts.

Not every man wants the same things, so you can't really conclude what men desire vs what women have. These are your assumptions.

As someone who moves among many married black couples where the husband is your definition of "successful", I have seen lots of examples contradicting your theories. Men who married black women you'd likely consider overweight, men who married women with kids, men married women with similar degrees and such even if the woman was not a "10". In fact, I'd say I see more of that than I see "successful" men married to Halle Berry types. I could post my own theories too based on what I've seen, but it wouldn't be any more valid than yours because neither of us did a real study on the topic.

Some black women participate in similar whining on message boards and I'm not impressed with them either. I get letting off steam and looking for advice, but broad assumptions about members of the opposite sex are silly to me... not to mention usually completely illogical. Knock yourself out if that turns you on, but I will remain bemused over here if you don't mind.