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There is nothing wrong with Beta guys. Many of the ones I've met are much more in tune with their feelings and make for very solid friends.
But I found that Alphas affect me in a much deeper way. Something about them makes me ... weak. I feel sexier and like a woman. When I'm with one, I feel that the woman I become is my natural state and I have no problem with them leading.
Ultimately, it boils down to knowing yourself. You have to be honest about what is attractive to YOU, not what other people or your family dictates. When Beta guys tried to ask me out in the past, it just felt... odd. They didn't make fires burn within me and I just couldn't take it to the next level.
That said, I know some women (both black and white women) who are married to or are dating beta guys. These women are very dominant and their beta SO's complement their personalities perfectly.
I think that at the end of the day, there can't be 2 dominant personalities in the home. There can't be 2 male energies in the home otherwise, there'd be conflict. Someone has to take the back seat and another person has to be the leader. Again, this is just my opinion, and keep in mind I grew up in Africa, where there are clear roles for men and women. It may not apply to everyone here.
I have noticed a certain pastoral or missionary quality in white men who date black women in my family or close friends. Perhaps it is because human service professions are a diverse environment and leads to these kinds of hook ups?
I have noticed a certain pastoral or missionary quality in white men who date black women in my family or close friends. Perhaps it is because human service professions are a diverse environment and leads to these kinds of hook ups?
"pastoral or missionary quality", I'm having a hard time envisioning this. Should I bring a bible on a date?
Personally I don't know of any WM/BF couples where the man fits this description. I sure don't and can't think of any WM I know personally who fits the missionary profile. I'm an Aerospace Engineer and an associate of mine whose wife is black is very unmissionary like: He's Analytical, Driven, Attractive and a great father to their children. She's in sales, bubbly attitude, very attractive and is a great mom. Outside of work, one of my pub buddies who is married, WM/BF relationship, is an Ozzy Osborn type: Definitely not a Pastor or missionary.
The BF/WM thing is still new to a lot of people. If you get on any interracial dating site you will see about 1/3 of the people are curious but have never dated BF/WM before. Another 1/3 specifically date outside of their race and the rest where they date Irrespective of race or have no preference or a slight preference in my case.
I guess since I'm going to be grouped and identified as a less than desirable "Beta male" for dating black woman I should just stop.
The BF/WM thing is still new to a lot of people. If you get on any interracial dating site you will see about 1/3 of the people are curious but have never dated BF/WM before. Another 1/3 specifically date outside of their race and the rest where they date Irrespective of race or have no preference or a slight preference in my case.
Funny you should mention the curiosity part. I'm a white guy dating a black woman who was born in Equatorial Guinea but has lived most of her life in the U.S. She comes from a large family (10 siblings + step siblings), and tells me that I'm the first non-black guy she's dated and that nobody else in her family has ever dated a non-black person. She tells me that she's always been "curious" about dating a white guy. I've dated women of lots of different races, but this is the first time I've dated a black woman.
From reading the posts in this thread, it sounds like there's a stereotype about black women being bossy. I'm not sure how much of that is true. The woman I'm dating certainly isn't like that.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Originally Posted by passionatearts
Funny you should mention the curiosity part. I'm a white guy dating a black woman who was born in Equatorial Guinea but has lived most of her life in the U.S. She comes from a large family (10 siblings + step siblings), and tells me that I'm the first non-black guy she's dated and that nobody else in her family has ever dated a non-black person. She tells me that she's always been "curious" about dating a white guy. I've dated women of lots of different races, but this is the first time I've dated a black woman.
From reading the posts in this thread, it sounds like there's a stereotype about black women being bossy. I'm not sure how much of that is true. The woman I'm dating certainly isn't like that.
To be objective your woman likely wouldn't be considered the standard US black woman that is stereotyped in that.
RICHMOND, Va. - For years, Toinetta Jones played the dating game by her mom's strict rule.
"Mom always told me, 'Don't you ever bring a white man home,'" recalled Jones, echoing an edict issued by many Southern, black mothers.
But at 37, the Alexandria divorcee has shifted to dating "anyone who asks me out," regardless of race.
"I don't sit around dreaming about the perfect black man I'm going to marry," Jones said.
Black women around the country also are reconsidering deep-seated reservations toward interracial relationships, reservations rooted in America's history of slavery and segregation.
More black women consider 'dating out' - Yahoo! News (broken link)
I'm a white guy and my family comes from the south. I was told many times by parents, aunts, uncles etc that you only date within your race and I had better never bring a black woman home. Clearly I never paid any attention to this as I've dated a dozen different races from all over the world and didn't care who liked it or didn't.
I think the hard part for black women is not going to be their own decision to date outside their race but rather finding someone that is willing to date them. I'm not sure if this only applies to black women in the city but most guys have a very stereotypical idea of them. Some of my black friends even refuse to date black girls. Unfortunately it's kind of like hillbillies. You see a couple of them on Cops or Jerry and you think the entire race act the same way and we all know the image that it paints so I won't go any further.. I know when out with my guy buddies I've made comments when a nice looking woman would walk by and when it happens to be a black women they all kind of look at me like I lost my mind. Some have even come right out and said sorry not interested. Same body on an asia or mexican and they would be drooling....
i have seen this happen time and time again myself, and i definitely think that the vast majority of white guys that date outside of their race do so because they can't get white women (or at least have a much easier time getting women of other races). i have known a number of them who, after years of poor dating luck would suddenly "discover" women of other races and settle down with them.
one such guy is (and has been) unemployed for years and currently lives off his asian girlfriend. another who is overweight and owes everything to his dad is marrying an asian woman (he never dated an asian woman his entire life). yet another suddenly "discovered" them after he hit his 30s and his dating pool started drying up. and so on.
this is not meant to demean asian woman and portray them as any "less" than their white counterparts, however it does make you wonder if the so called "yellow fever" attributed to white men is really more of a "white fever" that should be attributed to the women involved.
"White fever" is exactly right. Any time you come across a minority who will ONLY date white men and refuses to date her own race, that's white fever for you (or what I call status dating). There's something really sad and pathetic about it. It's one thing to date a wide variety of races, as I do. But these women who flat out will not date their own race (and proudly proclaim it)? Sad and pathetic. I suspect the reason is, their pursuit of white skin priviledge is so important, they dare not be seen with their own kind lest white people get the "wrong" idea. They want to be viewed as different that those "other" people.
I will date and marry any race of woman. But I will not "date out" as a way of "liberating" myself from the oppressive negro woman. Too many blacks, both men and women, do this and will not shut up about it as if them not having black skin was the only solution.
"White fever" is exactly right. Any time you come across a minority who will ONLY date white men and refuses to date her own race, that's white fever for you (or what I call status dating). There's something really sad and pathetic about it. It's one thing to date a wide variety of races, as I do. But these women who flat out will not date their own race (and proudly proclaim it)? Sad and pathetic. I suspect the reason is, their pursuit of white skin priviledge is so important, they dare not be seen with their own kind lest white people get the "wrong" idea. They want to be viewed as different that those "other" people.
Any time you come accross someone that feel they have the right to pass judgement on others, well there is something really sad and pathetic about it. It is because of judgemental people like you that it creates problems for black women that like white men to actively seek out their preferences. You are so way off base with your bigoted view point that you fail to see reality.
Some black women like myself just are attracted to white men. It has nothing to do with status or wanting to be viewed different. It has to do with attraction. yes, there is some that do it for the image, but not all do.
I'm a white guy and my family comes from the south. I was told many times by parents, aunts, uncles etc that you only date within your race and I had better never bring a black woman home. Clearly I never paid any attention to this as I've dated a dozen different races from all over the world and didn't care who liked it or didn't.
I think the hard part for black women is not going to be their own decision to date outside their race but rather finding someone that is willing to date them. I'm not sure if this only applies to black women in the city but most guys have a very stereotypical idea of them. Some of my black friends even refuse to date black girls. Unfortunately it's kind of like hillbillies. You see a couple of them on Cops or Jerry and you think the entire race act the same way and we all know the image that it paints so I won't go any further.. I know when out with my guy buddies I've made comments when a nice looking woman would walk by and when it happens to be a black women they all kind of look at me like I lost my mind. Some have even come right out and said sorry not interested. Same body on an asia or mexican and they would be drooling....
Actually it isnt hard for a black woman to find a man that is not black to date. it is quite easy.
It sounds like you have a lot of friends that are ignorant and bigoted.
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