News, More black women consider 'dating out' (marriages, statistics, children)

[annibelle]

Im AA. My husband is white. We have been married for almost 13 years. I was raised as most AA women to never date anyone but a black man. My family and community said that it would end in pain, he might turn on me because of my race, he could never fully accept me, people would mistreat our children because they're different, etc. My family was really upset when we ran off and married and said, "Forget them, this is our lives, we'll live it as we see fit". Even if I married black there would be challenges. I dated whites in college because they were interesting, different. I never knew what to expect on a date and I liked that. Dating black men since the teen years, I'd come to know what to expect because of our similar cultures. I guess it was hard to surprise me. But if you date a white guy, it's definately going to be different, interesting. Id date nice brothers, but I always knew what to expect. It was safe, nice but not interesting. Is that so bad to want to date someone different and interesting? Someone who listens to different music, has different hobbies. It was fun. My husband still surprises me. It's great. The women in my family are still waiting for the right brother to come along. But they're scratching their heads at me and my husband trying to figure out how our relationship worked. They still don't accept it.

[crystalblue]

Originally Posted by jhlcomp

I shake my head wondering if this country will ever change. My hope is that one day this country will be the beautiful blend of many races and colors - this may not be a popular thought right now. Hopefully one day in the future there won't be such a thing as racism - this is so detrimental to us.

I think if someone wants to date out of their race, they should do so because they are genuinely interested in the other person.

give it another 2 or 3 hundred yrs. we will all be a nice light chocolate...

[MANAR INTERNATIONAL]

The entire thing is much deeper than that., its wrapped-up in the image of Jesus on the cross. Post-Christ, an unconscious guilt and fear since it is well known that the type of slavery that we endured "chattel" consisted of being forced into 'incest' with our mothers and sisters simply to quickly reproduce more slaves for the market. People forget, that our type of slavery was a 'world-wide' enterprise. But now, we have fell victim to 'hidden' boby-traps that keep us apart, and trying to seek love outside of ourselves. Hey! I'am African-American and I would just love to have a African-American woman in my life, forever. However, Black Women generally don't trust me because I'am said to be "too good-looking", but I do'nt believe that for one moment., its because I'am too-honest and won't lie to women. Women don't like nice men I've been told.

[Rhett_Butler]

The average individual doesn't know what "chattel" means, nor do they know much about slavery other than it meant harsh treatment and working their butts off for no benefit to themselves.

Most that have the intellect (I am referring to both white and black) and have learned more about what slavery was, usually have the individuality to break free of unbreakable life-cycles....

IOW, I think you're making the reasoning behind what is being discussed way more complicated than it is. I'd attribute it more to a more liberal society and a culture that is way more supportive of a woman asserting herself than in the past.

[CharlotteHostess]

Originally Posted by Tish Thompson

Racism goes all ways. It only becomes a big deal when it involves blacks and whites. I think it's funny what some people consider 'racism'. I was asked out by a guy from a different cultural background than mine, and I told him no. He couldn't get it out of his head that I wouldn't date him because he wasn't black and to this day he calls me racist. I wouldn't date him because of his WIFE.

OMG! ROTFLMAO! Because of his WIFE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[CharlotteHostess]

Originally Posted by Zippy7fo

Man I'm tired of hearing the excuses from black women. Tons of quality single black men rolling around.

I agree! I am married to a supa african american man (I am AA too) but in college I did date several white guys. It was fun and different, like someone said earlier, and it wasn't out of my train of thought that I could possibly marry a white man. But, I found my husband and it was love at first sight and now here we are...14 years later, 2 kids and still loving every minute of it. But, if I had found a white man with all of his qualities, YOU BETTER BELIEVE I WOULD HAVE JUMPED ALL ON IT. You have got to do what makes YOU happy - if you are always concerned about what others are thinking then you are going to be lonely and trying to please THEM while they are gettting THEIR groove on and you are still wishin', hopin', thinkin', waitin'...there are some fine white, hispanic, asian and other men out there...go for what you know and you will be happy.

[miu]

Originally Posted by CharlotteHostess

...go for what you know and you will be happy.

This reminds me of what my Chinese carpenter told me. He was very Americanized and all of his life, he had dated girls of different races, but never a Chinese girl. Then one day, he found a Chinese woman that he was attracted to, dated her, then I think married her. What he told me was that from the first time he had Chinese food with her, it was like coming home.

My boyfriend is white and I'm Chinese, but both our upbringings are very suburban. And we are very comfortable with each other and have the same moral values.

[sun queen]

I think finding the right person is hard enough no matter the color. I am glad to hear of African American women taking their place in the multicultural dating area. I don't know how wide spread this notion is because I know many "sistahs" who stand by the philosophy: if he white...he just aint right In my opinion Mr. Wrong is bad news no matter what color he is. Good luck to all the singles looking for the right person

[internat]

There's no such thing as a Latino or Middle Eastern race. Latinos can be Amerind, Caucasoid/Europid, Negroid. Middle Easterners (especially from the northern part) are predominantly Caucasoid/Europid according to classic physical anthropology and population genetic studies. Ralph Nader is an example. He's a Lebanese-American.

"The term “White” refers to people having
origins in any of the original peoples of
Europe, the Middle East, or North Africa."
http://www.census.gov/prod/2001pubs/c2kbr01-4.pdf

Originally Posted by yayoi

This country is so hung up on black and white. There is no mention of the interracial relationships between black women and other people who aren't black (Latinos, Middle Easterners etc.).

[abrown17]

What's disturbing is that some black men will get extremely upset with black women for dating outside the race even if they themselves do it. These men expect to keep black women on standby while they sample every color of the rainbow.

I love black men and hope to marry one, but I don't think they have the same amount of loyalty to black women that we have to them. Black women are ultimately shortchanging themselves by not keeping other options open.