News, More black women consider 'dating out' (interracial, conversation, problems)

[johndoeboy]

Originally Posted by miu

No no no!!! None of my female friends have ever expressed an interest in dating a black male just because he was black and exotic looking to them. And I have been privy to a lot of girl talk. And if anything, the majority of black men that I have encountered were too much into the street or rap culture and not at all the kind of men I would ever want to date. So get over your black self. Your black skin does not have any magical effect on women of another race.

If anything, the statistics in the US are that most black men are not the marrying type, not good relationship material. Right now, I am too tired to google up some hard statistics for you, but here is a quote from a black friend of mine on another forum.



So when you see a fine quality white woman with a black man, it is more likely that she married him because he is a nice guy, has a decent job and good looking in an overall sort of way. The color of his skin was probably a very minor factor in why she fell in love with him and decided to have his children.

And actually, you are cheapening all black men by declaring them some universal boy toy attractive only because of the color of their skin. And guys that think like you make my skin crawl. Yuck!!!

What are you talking about who said anything about skin color. Just because your black friend said something, im supposed to believe it who cares what she said. When i see white woman or a asian woman like you marry a white men its not because of their skin color somdtimes. Why then do most ppl stick to their own race if skin color is nothing, i kow personally from white woman who say i like brown or dark skin. You say satitstics about black men not being the marrying type, of course white men are more of corporate america. So money is your first choice okay there are more rich white men, but just because your husband has money. Doesn't beat he won't be abusive, a cheat, or just no good. So your satisitics i know are going to be about wealth, so those may be deceptive. Why is the divorce rate 50% since its only the black male supposedly who most of them are not the marrying type. Again your satisitcs are probably based on wealth when you say some black men are not the marrying type, yes white men have the monopoly in coroprate america. Still alot of black men have men and are in coporate america. Money has nothing to do whether your husband will cheat or treat you good.

[MonaLisaVito]

Originally Posted by johndoeboy

BABYS DADDY

There is that phrase again "Babys Daddy", uhhh, i want to throw up every time I hear that. It makes me automatically think of the Jerry Springer show.

[miu]

Being 49 doesn't mean that I don't have younger female friends. If you want to do some further homework on me, my boyfriend is 26 years old and we have been together for three years. I'm really happy that you and your friends are in college, but that is only part of the black male picture because there are still many young black men that are not college bound and are immersed in the street culture and living the gangsta rap lifestyle.

I know that there are good quality black men out there, but what I object to are your broad generalizations about black male attractiveness. With any race, there are quality well educated people and there are also the trash level kind. The real facts are that quality women are attracted to good quality men no matter what their skin color is. Having black skin doesn't make you extra handsome or attractive to the women.

I think that you might be getting confused over is perhaps once the black men are dating the white women, in the bedroom the women are doing the love talk thing about how sexy their black lover is. But it's not the main reason that they are going out with their black guy in the first place.

Not every black man is an Omar Epps, a Denzel Washington or a Shemar Moore. Most black people (just like all people) are just average or regular looking. Then you have a bunch of goofy looking (imo) black guys like Eddie Murphy, Chris Tucker, Chris Rock, Tracy Morgan and Dave Chappelle. Those guys are definitely NOT handsome men. And the women who cluster around them are attracted to their stardom, success and money. But if any of those guys were just pizza delivery men, they would not be getting the same female action.

So a handsome well educated successful nice man is attractive to all women, no matter what his skin color is.

And 50 year old women are not more prejudiced than the 20-30 age group. And btw, my white boyfriend has just told me that both his sisters do not have a "thing" for black men. One sister is 22 and the other one is 33.

[miu]

And for the record, my boyfriend's family is not prejudiced. He thinks this generalizations about black men and white women are plain ridiculous. He briefly dated a black girl in college, not because of her skin color, but because she was a nice person. It didn't last very long as they didn't have very much in common interests. His older sister is a lawyer and she is married to a guy whose family is from Belize.

Again, it's NOT the skin color that is important when finding someone to date and marry.

[Ise]

God, depending in what country you are in, this thread becomes so, so senseless... I live in South of Brazil, most people here descend from european, but we have asian, african, etc... never heard anyone even saying something like that, if a woman should or not date someone of another race... The love is in the air (lol), I know a lot of couples like arabian x black, white x black, asian x white, and I never think much about it... most people are already descendents of mix, have both black and white or indian blood (at least lol)

I think here in brazil, about this race issue, is so much better... I mean, the colour of the skin is just like colour of eyes or hair, doesn't mean anything for MOST of us brazilians... Of course we have some stupid people as any other place, but in general it's common sense that race has nothing to do with personal interests or values or anything related to personality and love.
For example, the idea of a channel for black people sounds really strange to us, couse it makes it look like one will like to watch specific things just becouse the person has the skin darker!

Of course, history and immigration explain why here is diferent from many other places, but this is one (of not many) things Brazil has that is a lot better than most countries.

[browneyedgurl]

I am a younger black woman, and among the friends I grew up with, interracial dating wasn't considered any sort of taboo. But I do know plenty of people who will not consider dating someone whose isn't their race. I feel like, if I meet the person who treats me well, who I get along with, who respects me for who I am, and whose personality meshes well with mine, to have all of that and pass it up because his skin doesn't match mine would be crazy of me. I can't speak for anyone else, but I don't understand that.

[skatealoneskatetogether]

i lub black women

[breakingfree]

The drama over interracial dating gets frustrating. Why can't people love someone regardless of their race?

I'm a Black female and have dated interracially, and wouldn't mind doing it to this day (I just need to find people who are attracted to me first!). My family has issues with it but I don't care. I get enough flack from other Blacks for being "too White," and I just don't care. If I cared, I would've become a stereotype a long time ago.

Yes, I wouldn't mind dating within my race, but the only men of my race that find me attractive are the scrubs and inarticulate thugs. Instead of keeping myself limited to that lacking circle, I open myself up to other races.

I was never one that felt I had to "keep it in the race." If I were to do that, I'd be closing myself off to a lot of great guys.

[endersshadow]

Interracial dating is only a problem to those who want to make it a problem. If you want to date someone outside your race, do so. But be prepared to face chastising remarks from those outside and inside your race. It's how our society is and it won't change. There will always be people that don't condone such "taboo".

On a more light-hearted comment, if this festering hatred of interracial couples didn't exist, where would we get our drama from? From the eye color, the hair color, the socioeconomic status? We, as people, love to hate. It's in our blood to segregate ourselves from another person. "Race" is just one of those terms we account for.

[Fat Freddy]

I was married to a Black woman. The marriage didn't last, and I really believe it was due to racial/cultural differences.

I was born and raised in New England and my ancestors had lived there since colonial days. I didn't know any Black people and hardly ever saw any. In my high school, which served kids from seven surrounding towns, we had two Black kids. I didn't know either of them.

The first time I was around Black people, and actually got to know any, was when I was in the military. That's when I met my second wife, who was at the time, dating one of my Black friends.

Times were different then. The Civil Rights Movement had barely gotten started and Blacks had just recently begun to integrate the schools. They preferred to be called "Colored" and considered "Black" as an insult. It was even a worse insult to make any mention of "African" as it conjured up images of wild, spear throwing natives, who boiled missionaries in big iron pots.

When we decided to get married, we had to drive to New Mexico, because it was against the law for Blacks and Whites to marry in Oklahoma, which was where she was from and where I was stationed.

Soon after our marriage, I was shipped to Vietnam. It wasn't my turn to go, but I was suddenly no longer needed in my present job. It was strange, how at the office, when they got their allotment for how many men to send to Vietnam, the "Colored Boys" always ended up going first. I had now fallen into that category, which is not surprising since the majority or people I worked with were from the Southern States.

After Vietnam, I was assigned to California, and that's where we lived until I got out of the military and for the rest of our time together while I went back to college under the GI Bill.

The main reason our marriage didn't last was that when I went back to school I started what would be a major transformation of my values, ideals, and personality, and my wife, a medical professional, was very conservative in her social and political views and was uncomfortable with my participation in politics and civil rights.

I think she was insecure in my world and felt that she had to tread lightly, as she had all her life, to maintain the position that she had achieved in her profession. I was insensitive to this because at the time I had no awareness other than what was a product of my narrow upbringing. My heart may have been in the right place, but it wasn't connected to my mind or my soul.

The vast gap between our core beings, which were products of our cultural upbringing and it's social ramifications, was so great that it could not be bridged by the choices and actions of our daily life.
-----------------

Reality Check:

While I was in school, I met a pretty white girl from Louisiana who had grown up in Idaho. We took the same classes, liked the same things, shared the same values, and seemed to be on the same Journey of Transformation.

We became inseparable, moved in together, she divorced her husband, and my wife threatened to kill me.

She said she always knew I would leave her for a White Woman.