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Old 05-29-2011, 06:58 PM
 
5 posts, read 9,113 times
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Usually, men and women in a relationship speak the same language, but sometimes in the heat of the moment (good or bad), each gender tends to say or do something that may not be fully understood by the SO even though it seems totally coherent through one's own perspective.

Here are just a couple in a long list of my own experiences:
When I (a woman) caress my SO's skin, his leg, his back, his arm, etc., it does not necessarily mean that I want to do it. To me, it means, that I want to be closer, physically and emotionally.
Also, when I say "FINE!", it means, "Fine, I'll do it, but I'm going to be annoying the whole time that I'm doing it."

Please indulge me and the readers of this forum to your own experiences with this phenomenon.
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Old 05-30-2011, 12:52 PM
 
8,862 posts, read 15,086,945 times
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I'll have to think.

I can become cynical and use a variety of cryptic terms like 'Fine'/not fine I am annoyed beyond words.

this may not be exactly what you want but i think it's a funny story--

A friend of mine had a baby and they had to move in a loaded car. Her husband is a minister, fwiw.

She ended up in the backseat to have more room to take care of the baby but at some point during the trip she remarked to her husband that is was clear to her that his golf clubs were more important since they were in the passenger seat. She was funny and told many similar stories.

When men are moody and not yet ready to 'speak'--offer clues to what may be on their minds--after a few tries I just leave them alone. Then, if on another day I am moody and not ready to speak and the man seems hurt or mystified that his efforts to comfort me or be 'nice' don't work immediately I sometimes say something like--'I know how you feel' generally we lol.
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Old 05-30-2011, 07:03 PM
 
1,206 posts, read 2,596,852 times
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i am smart enough to know that "fine" is one of the most dangerous words in a female's arsenal. "Nothing" is also a big one.

Generally when speaking to women you need to be more intuitive and perceptive. Tone of voice, body language and implication is very important. Sadly men are naturally worse at these things. Basically if you have to ask what the problem is, your already too late. -_-

I think as guys, besides improving your perception is to not make things worse. I tend to get frustrated and eventualy upset when met with such resistance and stonewalling and it makes things escalate. So i try to be calm and more soft in tone and the way i say things. I also always remind myself that its not about winning and we are a team. It helps a little.

Last edited by imsh0t; 05-30-2011 at 07:14 PM..
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Old 01-06-2015, 10:37 AM
 
3,592 posts, read 4,848,599 times
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If a woman says she's "fine", please hide all the weapons in the house. And kick your own *ss for not noticing and attempting to de-fuse a ticking time bomb sooner. (LOL) The younger the woman is, the more this seems to be the case. There are a FEW younger women who are just as chilled as the older women tend to be. The chilled personality tends to be a rarity among the younger female population, though.

And women, if you're in a relationship, caressing your partner and acting physically affectionate (if you're in bed or cuddling on the couch) will probably be interpreted that you want to make love with him.
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Old 01-06-2015, 03:22 PM
 
33,092 posts, read 27,480,078 times
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just about everyone knows that when a woman says fine or nothing, that they dont mean it. especially if the intonation when they use those words is sharp.

but women have a much more subtle language they use, for instance when a woman says, "that looks like a nice place to eat", she means i am hungry and if i dont eat now you will be in real trouble mister. of course that is when the use of the words fine and nothing start to come into play in conversation.
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Old 01-06-2015, 03:33 PM
 
Location: bold new city of the south
5,511 posts, read 4,452,985 times
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Default Woman to Man translator

My personal favorite is:

I can tell something is bothering her, and ask her what is wrong. She says;

''Well, if you don't know, I can't tell you.''

Now, where exactly, do I go with that?????
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Old 01-07-2015, 10:03 AM
 
33,092 posts, read 27,480,078 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buddy5 View Post
My personal favorite is:

I can tell something is bothering her, and ask her what is wrong. She says;

''Well, if you don't know, I can't tell you.''

Now, where exactly, do I go with that?????
same place you go when she says fine, or nothing. to the flower shop for a bouquet of her favorite flowers. and make damn sure that it doesnt say "gold medal" on the wrapper.
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Old 01-07-2015, 10:17 AM
 
5,659 posts, read 2,818,360 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buddy5 View Post
My personal favorite is:

I can tell something is bothering her, and ask her what is wrong. She says;

''Well, if you don't know, I can't tell you.''

Now, where exactly, do I go with that?????

You say, "Yes, Dear."
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Old 01-08-2015, 10:22 AM
 
3,592 posts, read 4,848,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buddy5 View Post
My personal favorite is:

I can tell something is bothering her, and ask her what is wrong. She says;

''Well, if you don't know, I can't tell you.''

Now, where exactly, do I go with that?????
I hate it when a man asks me "what's wrong". As if he is sure something is wrong. I would prefer he ask me "is there something wrong", rather than what's wrong. Then I can tell him. The first statement almost seems as if the man is resentful of having to stop and ask.
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Old 01-08-2015, 10:25 AM
 
13,733 posts, read 26,242,195 times
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^^^^
That's pretty nuanced, for anybody, in my opinion. As someone very tuned to language use, I'm working on learning that not everyone is so tuned, and men less so (possible generalization, but still).
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