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Old 05-31-2011, 02:19 PM
 
4 posts, read 3,331 times
Reputation: 10
Default Arguing: Hitting Below the Belt

What would you do if every time you and your SO got into a fight he took some really low blows at you expense? Every time my bf and I get into an argument about something he always says "your not going to leave me" "you know you cant do any better than me".
It hurts like he** every time he says it and I let him know it hurts me. He always apologizes hours later once he knows he was in the wrong. But he never corrects this behavior and every time we argue he uses it again to cut me down.
Any suggestions?
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:23 PM
Status: "I ignore foolish trolls" (set 17 hours ago)
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
8,835 posts, read 10,274,510 times
Reputation: 16289
You call that hitting below the belt? You must have led a very sheltered life.
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:26 PM
 
4,801 posts, read 2,747,921 times
Reputation: 3923
I'm sorry for the treatment that you have to continually endure from your b/f When it gets to the point where he's telling you that "[you're] basically worthless" and "no one else is going to want or love [you]" (which is what I gathered from the OP), that is verbal abuse, IMO.

The only practical advice that I can think of, is, whenever he is in his "good" moods, gently keep repetitively reminding him (and drilling into him verbally) from time to time, just how hurtful his verbally-abusive treatment is to you, and ask him, since he loves you, to kindly not repeat the hurtful behavior. If he hears it enough times while he is in a lucid / agreeable state, it just might hit home, in his own mind, not to do it to you.

Last edited by Knight2009; 05-31-2011 at 02:28 PM.. Reason: Adds
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:26 PM
 
Location: colorado
2,791 posts, read 2,291,921 times
Reputation: 3214
Quote:
Originally Posted by vixen1123 View Post
What would you do if every time you and your SO got into a fight he took some really low blows at you expense? Every time my bf and I get into an argument about something he always says "your not going to leave me" "you know you cant do any better than me".
It hurts like he** every time he says it and I let him know it hurts me. He always apologizes hours later once he knows he was in the wrong. But he never corrects this behavior and every time we argue he uses it again to cut me down.
Any suggestions?

Is he telling the truth?
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:27 PM
 
380 posts, read 384,600 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
You call that hitting below the belt? You must have led a very sheltered life.
Going to have to disagree with this. It shows he thinks he always has the upper hand and can basically get away with anything because in his mind he thinks your not going to leave him. Its manipulative.

Id say leave him.
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:29 PM
 
8,681 posts, read 6,945,013 times
Reputation: 14874
When a man tells you that you can't do any better than him, it usually means you can and he knows it.
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:29 PM
 
1,460 posts, read 809,050 times
Reputation: 1346
How old are you? Didn't you say this is a boyfriend? Go ahead and stay with him, this will be the rest of your life.

Wipe, flush and move on...dont understand how this is even complicated
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:35 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,913 posts, read 4,230,215 times
Reputation: 12093
Quote:
Originally Posted by vixen1123 View Post
What would you do if every time you and your SO got into a fight he took some really low blows at you expense? Every time my bf and I get into an argument about something he always says "your not going to leave me" "you know you cant do any better than me".
It hurts like he** every time he says it and I let him know it hurts me. He always apologizes hours later once he knows he was in the wrong. But he never corrects this behavior and every time we argue he uses it again to cut me down.
Any suggestions?
and get another boyfriend!
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:39 PM
Status: "I ignore foolish trolls" (set 17 hours ago)
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
8,835 posts, read 10,274,510 times
Reputation: 16289
Quote:
Originally Posted by punky86 View Post
Going to have to disagree with this. It shows he thinks he always has the upper hand and can basically get away with anything because in his mind he thinks your not going to leave him. Its manipulative.

Id say leave him.
That's correct, he holds a high opinion of himself. But I wouldn't call what he did hitting below the belt. Immaturity and narcissism yes, cheap shot, not so much.
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:41 PM
 
380 posts, read 384,600 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
That's correct, he holds a high opinion of himself. But I wouldn't call what he did hitting below the belt. Immaturity and narcissism yes, cheap shot, not so much.
How is undermining her capability to get a better man (suggesting she HAS to settle) not hitting below the belt?
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