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Old 05-31-2011, 03:19 PM
 
4 posts, read 3,847 times
Reputation: 10

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What would you do if every time you and your SO got into a fight he took some really low blows at you expense? Every time my bf and I get into an argument about something he always says "your not going to leave me" "you know you cant do any better than me".
It hurts like he** every time he says it and I let him know it hurts me. He always apologizes hours later once he knows he was in the wrong. But he never corrects this behavior and every time we argue he uses it again to cut me down.
Any suggestions?
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
8,883 posts, read 11,297,860 times
Reputation: 16432
You call that hitting below the belt? You must have led a very sheltered life.
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:26 PM
 
4,876 posts, read 3,307,085 times
Reputation: 4019
I'm sorry for the treatment that you have to continually endure from your b/f When it gets to the point where he's telling you that "[you're] basically worthless" and "no one else is going to want or love [you]" (which is what I gathered from the OP), that is verbal abuse, IMO.

The only practical advice that I can think of, is, whenever he is in his "good" moods, gently keep repetitively reminding him (and drilling into him verbally) from time to time, just how hurtful his verbally-abusive treatment is to you, and ask him, since he loves you, to kindly not repeat the hurtful behavior. If he hears it enough times while he is in a lucid / agreeable state, it just might hit home, in his own mind, not to do it to you.

Last edited by Knight2009; 05-31-2011 at 03:28 PM.. Reason: Adds
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:26 PM
 
Location: colorado
2,789 posts, read 2,563,178 times
Reputation: 3223
Quote:
Originally Posted by vixen1123 View Post
What would you do if every time you and your SO got into a fight he took some really low blows at you expense? Every time my bf and I get into an argument about something he always says "your not going to leave me" "you know you cant do any better than me".
It hurts like he** every time he says it and I let him know it hurts me. He always apologizes hours later once he knows he was in the wrong. But he never corrects this behavior and every time we argue he uses it again to cut me down.
Any suggestions?

Is he telling the truth?
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:27 PM
 
380 posts, read 425,272 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
You call that hitting below the belt? You must have led a very sheltered life.
Going to have to disagree with this. It shows he thinks he always has the upper hand and can basically get away with anything because in his mind he thinks your not going to leave him. Its manipulative.

Id say leave him.
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:29 PM
 
8,681 posts, read 7,820,888 times
Reputation: 14954
When a man tells you that you can't do any better than him, it usually means you can and he knows it.
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:29 PM
 
1,460 posts, read 928,951 times
Reputation: 1355
How old are you? Didn't you say this is a boyfriend? Go ahead and stay with him, this will be the rest of your life.

Wipe, flush and move on...dont understand how this is even complicated
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:35 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,928 posts, read 4,640,781 times
Reputation: 12148
Quote:
Originally Posted by vixen1123 View Post
What would you do if every time you and your SO got into a fight he took some really low blows at you expense? Every time my bf and I get into an argument about something he always says "your not going to leave me" "you know you cant do any better than me".
It hurts like he** every time he says it and I let him know it hurts me. He always apologizes hours later once he knows he was in the wrong. But he never corrects this behavior and every time we argue he uses it again to cut me down.
Any suggestions?
and get another boyfriend!
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:39 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
8,883 posts, read 11,297,860 times
Reputation: 16432
Quote:
Originally Posted by punky86 View Post
Going to have to disagree with this. It shows he thinks he always has the upper hand and can basically get away with anything because in his mind he thinks your not going to leave him. Its manipulative.

Id say leave him.
That's correct, he holds a high opinion of himself. But I wouldn't call what he did hitting below the belt. Immaturity and narcissism yes, cheap shot, not so much.
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:41 PM
 
380 posts, read 425,272 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
That's correct, he holds a high opinion of himself. But I wouldn't call what he did hitting below the belt. Immaturity and narcissism yes, cheap shot, not so much.
How is undermining her capability to get a better man (suggesting she HAS to settle) not hitting below the belt?
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