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I just don't get the highschool "you can't have sex on a first date!!" rules - you're adults!
I don't think its even about that. For me, if the chemistry was strong enough and everything seemed legit enough to have sex on the first date then I would still wait, but I probably wouldn't wait as long as I normally do (I mean for gods sake, I want sex too! lol). Us women need to somehow protect ourselves from all the men who are only after one thing though. Sparks and "chemistry" can cloud judgement, which is why I would never put out on the first date, no matter how strong any connection was. I think depending how often people see and speak to each other, 1-2 months is a good timeline, but that's just my opinion.
I don't think its even about that. For me, if the chemistry was strong enough and everything seemed legit enough to have sex on the first date then I would still wait, but I probably wouldn't wait as long as I normally do (I mean for gods sake, I want sex too! lol). Us women need to somehow protect ourselves from all the men who are only after one thing though. Sparks and "chemistry" can cloud judgement, which is why I would never put out on the first date, no matter how strong any connection was. I think depending how often people see and speak to each other, 1-2 months is a good timeline, but that's just my opinion.
I wouldn't have sex on the first date. But if you are gonna do that instead of practicing abstinance, then at least take any precautionary methods necessary to prevent STDs and pregnancy.
Sex on a first date is okay. It's not what I'd normally do, however, but there have been exceptions. Usually, if I'm dating, I'm seeking a relationship, so sex or no sex early on isn't an issue, and sex right away isn't going to dissuade me from being interested if there is real compatibility and attraction. Nor will sex keep me around if there isn't compatibility.
As often as not, the woman initiates sex anyway, in my experience. Sometimes I've even turned it down, if she's not what I want and I think she's actually looking for more than a ONS.
I wouldn't have sex on the first date. But if you are gonna do that instead of practicing abstinance, then at least take any precautionary methods necessary to prevent STDs and pregnancy.
well ya, that's a given..I hope people aren't that stupid.
well ya, that's a given..I hope people aren't that stupid.
If you read one of my other threads, then yes, you can see that some people are too trusting and stupid to believe someone when they say they're on birth control.
If he wants sex in the first date, he's actually not that into you. I commented on this on my blog, women tend to mis-rate their sexual market value (SMV) by equating it with the SMV of the men they're willing to date. Particularly in the 20s age range, women are simply dating men that want nothing to do with them long term, as they [the men] view them [the women] good enough to %uck, not good enough to see their waking mug every waking day. As both sexes enter the 30s, it becomes clear to women that their SMV was lower the whole time, which is why they're still single in the first place. Men's SMV tends to stay right where it always was, but now the women in the same true "SMV banding" (women who in their 20s wouldn't have given them the time of day) have knocked themselves back to reality and are scrambling to compensate for the lost time they spent over-rating themselves in their 20s.
Of course, I'll get the angry female banter since nobody likes to get called out on aiming too high, but that's generally the way it goes. I admit in my own life I not only was willing to engage in meaningless sex with someone I deemed of lower SMV, I married one..and divorced one lol. Men are usually much more grounded about the settling required to have LTRs, ironically enough. So as visceral as it may seem to gage these men as feeble and immature for wanting sex in the first date, the reality of the matter is that these confrontations actually say more about the female's true sense of "self-rating" than whether or not these men will go on to engage in meaningful relationships with women much more attractive and/or accomplished than you, once everybody hits 30.... IIWII.
Last edited by hindsight2020; 06-02-2011 at 02:36 PM..
If he wants sex in the first date, he's actually not that into you. I commented on this on my blog, women tend to mis-rate their sexual market value (SMV) by equating it with the SMV of the men they're willing to date. Particularly in the 20s age range, women are simply dating men that want nothing to do with them long term, as they [the men] view them [the women] good enough to %uck, not good enough to see their waking mug every waking day. As both sexes enter the 30s, it becomes clear to women that their SMV was lower the whole time, which is why they're still single in the first place. Men's SMV tends to stay right where it always was, but now the women in the same true "SMV banding" (women who in their 20s wouldn't have given them the time of day) have knocked themselves back to reality and are scrambling to compensate for the lost time they spent over-rating themselves in their 20s.
Of course, I'll get the angry female banter since nobody likes to get called out on aiming too high, but that's generally the way it goes. I admit in my own life I not only was willing to engage in meaningless sex with someone I deemed of lower SMV, I married one..and divorced one lol. Men are usually much more grounded about the settling required to have LTRs, ironically enough. So as visceral as it may seem to gage these men as feeble and immature for wanting sex in the first date, the reality of the matter is that these confrontations actually say more about the female's true sense of "self-rating" than whether or not these men will go on to engage in meaningful relationships with women much more attractive and/or accomplished than you, once everybody hits 30.... IIWII.
And this is coming from a woman! I can't count how many cocktail servers I know who thought they were so damn high on the totem pole when they were younger, who only dated pit bosses and men who drove maserati's and mercedes Benz's, and popped out a couple kids thinking these guys were going to be around forever. Now, in their 30's and 40's, they realized they aren't the best thing in the world, and wish they had done things a little differently when they were younger. Still cocktailing, going after younger guys, and are still single mom's.
If he wants sex in the first date, he's actually not that into you. I commented on this on my blog, women tend to mis-rate their sexual market value (SMV) by equating it with the SMV of the men they're willing to date. Particularly in the 20s age range, women are simply dating men that want nothing to do with them long term, as they [the men] view them [the women] good enough to %uck, not good enough to see their waking mug every waking day. As both sexes enter the 30s, it becomes clear to women that their SMV was lower the whole time, which is why they're still single in the first place. Men's SMV tends to stay right where it always was, but now the women in the same true "SMV banding" (women who in their 20s wouldn't have given them the time of day) have knocked themselves back to reality and are scrambling to compensate for the lost time they spent over-rating themselves in their 20s.
Of course, I'll get the angry female banter since nobody likes to get called out on aiming too high, but that's generally the way it goes. I admit in my own life I not only was willing to engage in meaningless sex with someone I deemed of lower SMV, I married one..and divorced one lol. Men are usually much more grounded about the settling required to have LTRs, ironically enough. So as visceral as it may seem to gage these men as feeble and immature for wanting sex in the first date, the reality of the matter is that these confrontations actually say more about the female's true sense of "self-rating" than whether or not these men will go on to engage in meaningful relationships with women much more attractive and/or accomplished than you, once everybody hits 30.... IIWII.
And then there are us special folk who just keep getting better and better with age.
If he wants sex in the first date, he's actually not that into you. I commented on this on my blog, women tend to mis-rate their sexual market value (SMV) by equating it with the SMV of the men they're willing to date. Particularly in the 20s age range, women are simply dating men that want nothing to do with them long term, as they [the men] view them [the women] good enough to %uck, not good enough to see their waking mug every waking day. As both sexes enter the 30s, it becomes clear to women that their SMV was lower the whole time, which is why they're still single in the first place. Men's SMV tends to stay right where it always was, but now the women in the same true "SMV banding" (women who in their 20s wouldn't have given them the time of day) have knocked themselves back to reality and are scrambling to compensate for the lost time they spent over-rating themselves in their 20s.
Of course, I'll get the angry female banter since nobody likes to get called out on aiming too high, but that's generally the way it goes. I admit in my own life I not only was willing to engage in meaningless sex with someone I deemed of lower SMV, I married one..and divorced one lol. Men are usually much more grounded about the settling required to have LTRs, ironically enough. So as visceral as it may seem to gage these men as feeble and immature for wanting sex in the first date, the reality of the matter is that these confrontations actually say more about the female's true sense of "self-rating" than whether or not these men will go on to engage in meaningful relationships with women much more attractive and/or accomplished than you, once everybody hits 30.... IIWII.
well its a good thing, women in my family get better looking with age. And ya I'm only about to be 25, but even since I was 15, I've gotten better looking...I get hit on more and more with each passing year. I'm not too worried about my appearance, dating maybe, but I can't be too sure that its all over for me at this point in my life.
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