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I agree as well. The ex in this story strikes me as an immature drama queen.
I agree she sounds like an immature drama queen too... just not the only one in the story. The OP is going to church? Isn't one of the things they teach there to be compassionate and act generously towards others? OP himself stated that he knew what he was doing would cause problems... and he did it anyway--just two weeks after their break-up. Her behavior makes me roll my eyes for sure, but the OP kind of invited it on himself and deserves what he gets if he chooses to continue it. There's something to be said for being gracious even when you don't have to be, in not rubbing the break-up in someone's face just weeks after it occurs when the hurt is still fresh. That's not exactly Christian behavior.
Story sounds cheesy. You definitely did this on purpose to just hurt her feelings so you feel good about yourself and/or make her come back to you.
And what was she doing when she broke up with him? Making him feel good?
And if she broke up with him, why would it hurt her feelings what he did if she didn't have the psychology of a child?
If she is so concerned what he is doing AFTER the breakup, that tells me she broke up with him to get a reaction out of him. It's the same old story: she wanted to see if she was desirable enough to break a guys heart. And she found out she wasn't. And now she's pissed. I see this all the time. People try to twist love around and see if they can hurt the one they love as a way of feeling their own value, not because they have a real issue with their partner. Sometimes it works and they feel good for a while. But eventually they need someone else to do the same thing to again. His ex is not happy because he's not letting her feel her worth from hurting someone.
That said, his ex could have done a preemptive breakup because she was scared he was not liking her or going to hurt her first. I can understand her wanting to avoid that kind of hurt. But she should just gracefully let him go. Accept that they are not compatible, and not make faces. It will be easier on herself if she just detatches fully.
Last edited by Shankapotomus; 06-06-2011 at 07:40 AM..
OP,dont, worry about this stuff, it is still a new break-up and the way your ex is acting should only make you happy that she is no longer with you. Eventually the dust will settle and she will stop acting this way. Just ignore her and concentrate on the real reason why you are in Church.
And what was she doing when she broke up with him? Making him feel good? And if she broke up with him, why would it hurt her feelings what he did if she didn't have the psychology of a child? If she is so concerned what he is doing AFTER the breakup, that tells me she broke up with him to get a reaction out of him.
The OP has posted in the past about how the relationship had fundamental issues where they were simply a mismatch:
He was dead set on living in one city and only one city--his hometown. She wanted to live in a larger city an hour or two away where there were opportunities for her to work in her field--medicine--at a hospital.
He was a night owl--wanting to be out until 2 AM playing with his band. Her line of work was more physically demanding than his and he was resentful that she would want to go home and go to sleep to get ready for work the next day at a more traditional hour--9 PM.
She says he was a constant whiner--always complaining about something. He said she was immature. He would text a lot but never make the effort for a real phone call even though it was important to her to hear his voice.
In short, from the start it was clear this was never going to work. They're probably both nice, decent people, but they're so different and want totally opposite things to the point that there was no way this was ever going to work out. I agree that she sounds whiny and immature, but then I read his posts where he was always complaining about her having to keep an adult work schedule instead of being out until 2 AM like him... sounds like both of these people have a lot of maturing to do.
I agree she sounds like an immature drama queen too... just not the only one in the story. The OP is going to church? Isn't one of the things they teach there to be compassionate and act generously towards others? OP himself stated that he knew what he was doing would cause problems... and he did it anyway--just two weeks after their break-up. Her behavior makes me roll my eyes for sure, but the OP kind of invited it on himself and deserves what he gets if he chooses to continue it. There's something to be said for being gracious even when you don't have to be, in not rubbing the break-up in someone's face just weeks after it occurs when the hurt is still fresh. That's not exactly Christian behavior.
That's not "rubbing" it in someone's face. He would make sure the ex saw/heard what he was doing and would look for a response from her; but that wasn't the case. Since someone else/others had to point out her reaction, he obviously wasn't paying attention to her. He did what he would normally do, and the ex happened to have a problem with it anyway. Personally, I get the perception his ex would be upset even if another girl said hi and he decided to wave back out of friendliness. But it sounds like he's well on his way of growing beyond her.
That's not "rubbing" it in someone's face. He would make sure the ex saw/heard what he was doing and would look for a response from her; but that wasn't the case. Since someone else/others had to point out her reaction, he obviously wasn't paying attention to her. He did what he would normally do, and the ex happened to have a problem with it anyway. Personally, I get the perception his ex would be upset even if another girl said hi and he decided to wave back out of friendliness. But it sounds like he's well on his way of growing beyond her.
Sure, it could go either way. Personally, what tips it to one side for me is where he said he knew it would cause problems and he did it anyway. This is after he posted a week or so ago about how worried he was that it was going to be problematic to attend the same church after the break-up, how he was still really close to his ex's mother and sister, etc. If that's the case, then you have to be a little more careful, IMHO, then what he was doing here. Personally, while I think she sounds plenty immature as well, I think it's being something of a drama queen to gripe here that you didn't want a big scene at church, then turn right around and do something that you admit ahead of time is certain to cause trouble just weeks after your break-up.
He might not be "in the wrong" here but nor do I have any sympathy for the guy. He invited this one on himself.
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