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Old 06-11-2011, 10:11 AM
 
Location: New York City
83 posts, read 131,958 times
Reputation: 100
Is OP for real? Cheating is bad enough, but when your SO has cancer? That's the lowest of the low. He's just as bad as John Edwards.
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Old 06-11-2011, 10:28 AM
 
Location: NYC
7,373 posts, read 7,007,649 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Max View Post
Is OP for real? Cheating is bad enough, but when your SO has cancer? That's the lowest of the low. He's just as bad as John Edwards.
No he isnt . Yes her bf is a jackass, but he never took any vows of fidelity, promising to remain with her through sickness and health until death. Marriage isnt just a piece of paper.
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Old 06-11-2011, 10:35 AM
 
Location: New York City
83 posts, read 131,958 times
Reputation: 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
No he isnt . Yes her bf is a jackass, but he never took any vows of fidelity, promising to remain with her through sickness and health until death. Marriage isnt just a piece of paper.

Just because one is married and the other isn't, doesn't mean he's not as bad as Edwards. Cheating on someone that has cancer, is going through treatment, and doesn't know if they'll survive is one of the lowest things you can do. So yes, he is just as bad as Edwards.
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Old 06-11-2011, 10:40 AM
 
Location: NYC
7,373 posts, read 7,007,649 times
Reputation: 10050
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Max View Post
Just because one is married and the other isn't, doesn't mean he's not as bad as Edwards. Cheating on someone that has cancer, is going through treatment, and doesn't know if they'll survive is one of the lowest things you can do. So yes, he is just as bad as Edwards.
Nope. Again, Edwards took marital vows and the op's bf did not. These are 2 different matters.
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Old 06-11-2011, 10:43 AM
 
Location: New York City
83 posts, read 131,958 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
Nope. Again, Edwards took marital vows and the op's bf did not. These are 2 different matters.

Doesn't matter. There's plenty of time in the future to leave. To do so while she's currently going through treatment is as low as you can go. I pray you don't end up with cancer. Because if you do and your SO cheats on you and leaves, you'll be singing a completely different tune.
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Old 06-11-2011, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
4,423 posts, read 3,672,195 times
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I'm inclined to agree with OngletNYC. Of course, my take on relationships may differ from the usual culturally imposed expectations. If I were being treated for cancer, and unable to perform up to par with a g/f in terms of both affection and sex, I hope she would be supportive and stay with me, but I would encourage her to satisfy sexual and intimacy needs elsewhere. It's very stressful to be the care-giver and supporter to someone who is ill, and so their well-being is a real concern if they are going to be able to function well and persist in that role and be there for me when I need them.

I would feel the same if married (which I am) - and our vows are far more liberal than the cultural "standard" anyway.
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Old 06-11-2011, 11:06 AM
 
8,681 posts, read 7,350,995 times
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I wouldn't. Betrayal and loss of trust aside--gee, there's nothing like a man who stands by you when you need him most--cancer treatments can wreak havoc on your immune system, and you need to worry about an STD right now like a hole in the head.

There are better men out there. I know, because I have one. It wasn't cancer, but it was world-rocking. He was there through the whole thing, and still is.
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Old 06-11-2011, 11:10 AM
 
3,573 posts, read 3,228,876 times
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I would move on and drop your bf and concentrate on yourself and getting well. You don't need any stress while fighting for your life.
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Old 06-11-2011, 11:16 AM
 
5,523 posts, read 4,134,282 times
Reputation: 8317
IMO

No....he is insensitive with no care or idea about YOUR feelings. While it could be true he himself was distraught and sought to soothe his own feelings with someone else, it is still a
**horrible and miserable thing to do to you when YOU NEED HIM THE MOST**......like John Edwards'affair/love child while his wife was very ill....if you allow yourself, you might find you are devastated. I would be......

Ditto last post-focus on yourself

Best wishes,

gbh
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Old 06-11-2011, 11:40 AM
 
90 posts, read 83,136 times
Reputation: 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by so low View Post
I caught him out and when I confronted him he admitted what he had done, he's gutted and wants me to take him back. Thanks for wishing me well.
Most cheatersfeel 'gutted' when busted.
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