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As a psychologist I have to say therapy is not the say all, cure all. I am familiar with the experiences you are having, it is not uncommon with people who have been sexually abused. It is as if your own body betrays you by responding sexually to people you don't want to have sex with. It is a fairly complicated issue, but related to, and I believe, rooted in guilt.
That is exactly what it is. Like I have no control over my own body. I have gotten much better at controlling negative thinking but this one just confounds me. I hear you on the therapy but I shouldn't give up. There are a lot of excellent doctors out there; I just need to track them down.
You're getting turned on physically, but not mentally. The phenomenon has been documented in the medical literature. It's the same mechanism by which a rape victim can have an orgasm while a rape is in progress. It's involuntary, and it does not mean you "want" the person. Pure physical arousal is a reflex, and, like a sneeze or a heart flutter, is beyond our control. (Something I'm sure many men became painfully aware of in early adolescence.)
I'm guessing that the more you worry about it, the bigger an issue it will become for you. Seek more therapy if you feel it's necessary, especially if you haven't worked through the sexual abuse of the past. But as someone else said, women's bodies change a lot in their early 40. You might still be in your sexual peak. Plus, it's happening when you're ovulating--when your body is telling you to get busy.
Honestly? The physical side sounds hormonal to me. That it disturbs you so much is probably something deeper with you emotionally, as others have pointed out.
Last edited by Yzette; 06-11-2011 at 10:54 AM..
Reason: read rest of thread
You're getting turned on physically, but not mentally. The phenomenon has been documented in the medical literature. It's the same mechanism by which a rape victim can have an orgasm while a rape is in progress. It's involuntary, and it does not mean you "want" the person. Pure physical arousal is a reflex, and, like a sneeze or a heart flutter, is beyond our control. (Something I'm sure many men became painfully aware of in early adolescence.)
I'm guessing that the more you worry about it, the bigger an issue it will become for you. Seek more therapy if you feel it's necessary, especially if you haven't worked through the sexual abuse of the past. But as someone else said, women's bodies change a lot in their early 40. You might still be in your sexual peak. Plus, it's happening when you're ovulating--when your body is telling you to get busy.
Honestly? The physical side sounds hormonal to me. That it disturbs you so much is probably something deeper with you emotionally, as others have pointed out.
I highly doubt this could happen. sounds more like urban legend. An assault on someone sexual or otherwise is not likely to arouse anyone but the perpetrator.
I've seen your message just today for the first time, and I wanted to reply even though a lot of time has passed since you asked it, as I also experienced similar things.
I'm a young male in my mid-20s, who grew up with female family members, and my best friends and most of my friends are also females. I'm actually more comfortable to speak and converse and have friendship with females than males. But don't take it wrong neither I'm gay, nor do I get sexually excited from my female friends. I'm actually a very sensitive person, and with an up most probability, an emotional sponge. I intuitively feel the emotions of others' people in me, almost experiencing as my own. And I'm not very sexually oriented, my parents are spiritually inclined and raised me as such as well.
Coming back to the subject, I have been experiencing sexual excitement (though not very often, but the rate of occurrences increases) from people that normally I never get excited and in the beginning I felt guilty, until understanding that it was actually them, getting excited while imagining someone else. For example, it happened with a family friend of ours, a young girl who is 9 years younger than me, to whom I have always looked upon like my little sister. Once she requested that I do massage to her shoulders that were aching, while I was doing, suddenly I felt stimulated, although I wasn't attracted to her at all. I did a quick analysis in that moment and asked her if she has been thinking about or desiring the guy she had a crush with. She immediately turned red, and asked me how I knew..That's when I understood, that stimulation was not mine..
I experienced similar things from males, which made me sure, that I could experience people's sexual desire of others, while touching them. I think this is too another extreme case of being an emotional sponge.
I am sorry but this is going to seem very, very weird and I am having a tough time figuring out what is happening to me and what to do about it.
I get a strong sense when someone (man or woman) desires me. I feel it physically (if you know what I mean) and it sickens me. I am absolutely sure that this is not me desiring them, because this has happened with people that I find physically repulsive (e.g. very unattractive men or lesbians (sorry to be so crude)) or that I don't like. It has happened with the guy that I have a huge crush on -- that's about the only time I am okay with this weird thing.
I have noticed that this is at its worst within two weeks of my menstrual cycle. I have also noticed that in this time frame, I seem to attract some attention (mostly unwanted).
I have always being an empathetic person who can sense people's emotions but this just takes it to a whole other disturbing level, and I want it to stop. It is grossing me out, making me feel naked and vulnerable. It has gotten to the point where I am a little anxious about being in public because I don't know when it will happen. I am also starting to avoid people that I normally sense this about.
I am too embarrased to ask my doctor about this for fear he will think I am totally insane (could be true).
Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how do you cope?
not really have this experience on a regular basis, sometimes get that vibe from the pharmacist near my home. I do the same thing as you, avoid him like the plague b/c it's uncomfortable. Sometimes these people in stores or whatever are just being nice, so no reason to jump to 'they desire.' I don't even know if that's the case or not, that's just the feeling I get sometimes.
Also what do you mean by "I don't know what will happen?"
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