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A couple of posts lately have gotten me thinking about this. So has my history (my husband did a turnaround from being "Mr. Playboy" to finding me and wanting to marry me just when he turned 30...there's more to it than that but the wheels are turning).
Aaaaaaaaaanyway. I know men don't literally have a biological clock. Sperm motility can decrease after a certain age, libido itself certainly can but technically, the average male is created to continue to be able to produce sperm pretty much up until death whereas obviously, the inverse isn't true for women.
But do any men get that "holy cow, I should be getting on this whole family thing" at a certain age? Is it a motivation to get married even if you haven't found "the one"?
If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say that guys are more likely to be motivated to get on with the marriage/family thing (if they, indeed, are...not all guys are) if they come from a background where this is an "expected accomplishment," on par with getting the degree, getting the job, etc. Not really a time-sensitive thing, since there isn't such a narrow window for reproduction as there is for women, but just another tick mark on the list of stuff you're "supposed" to do as an accomplished adult. And this isn't a message that every guy has received, but some have.
I've never heard guys say this stuff in so many words.. I'm sure that some men feel that way... I think for the most part since men can have a baby at any age.. So I don't know if the level of urgency is the same.
I've never had kids and knew I didn't want to have children so I'm probably not a good example.....
I know a lot of young men (early 20s) who are very family oriented and dream of marrying and having children while they're young-maybe their 30s. I don't think it's a "biological clock" per se, rather just their upbringing, values, and family influence that come into play. And then there are those men who remain playboys until the day they die...I don't know what's going on in their heads.
I'm of the opinion that because there is more pressure on women to have children than there is on guys, the biological clock that you speak off doesn't really start for a guy until it starts for the girl. After that, it's about his upbringing and w/e family values he has instilled in him. Now there isn't to say there aren't some guys out there who really want to start families, but more often than not, it's the girls doing the initiative.
I'm 29 and through my younger 20s I jumped from girl to girl...I wouldn't say I was a player though. I guess I was kinda looking for the right girl but was just never happy with the person I was with.
Now that I am 29 though I do want to find the perfect girl for me. I do want to get married and have a family. I think for me it was when I got a "real" job. I want to find someone that I want to come home to every night. I think it also helped me seeing all of my guy friends get married and be really happy with their wives.
I've also been one to say that I'm going to die alone b/c I can't find the right girl and I want to. I know I'm not even 30 but that is just something I want and I feel like I am continuously failing at it right now.
I know a lot of young men (early 20s) who are very family oriented and dream of marrying and having children while they're young-maybe their 30s. I don't think it's a "biological clock" per se, rather just their upbringing, values, and family influence that come into play. And then there are those men who remain playboys until the day they die...I don't know what's going on in their heads.
I think you've nailed it. I know guys in their 20's like this too
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