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Prenuptial s create a documented personal accountability toward the insurance of the future."
Maybe I'm still totally just missing the point here... but I thought the marriage was the future that heart, body, & sould were commiting to. ....not logging a string of backup plans and legal jargon for when the "**** hits the fan".
Yes it makes perfect sense to have prenups. ...if you don't trust who you're marrying not to run for the hills and take you to the cleaners years down the road. ....if you can't trust them? don't marry them. And your argument doesn't hold up for people's "wishes". that is not a prenup. that is what we call a will.
Maybe I'm still totally just missing the point here... but I thought the marriage was the future that heart, body, & sould were commiting to. ....not logging a string of backup plans and legal jargon for when the "**** hits the fan".
Yes it makes perfect sense to have prenups. ...if you don't trust who you're marrying not to run for the hills and take you to the cleaners years down the road. ....if you can't trust them? don't marry them. And your argument doesn't hold up for people's "wishes". that is not a prenup. that is what we call a will.
True, true....to some extended....but, then on the other the phrase that "love is blind".
I married for love, and was blinded to my gills.
Came with a house (in Germany), which I almost lost in the divorce proceedings, because he wanted to take EVERYTHING (it was a revenge thing, payback...because I dumped him!).
I was able to keep the house (frantic last minute and not-so-legal way) which was build by my grandparents.
Otherwise his fat A*S*S would be sitting in MY house now, taking overseas vacations!!!!
I hate bringing up celebrities but look at Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. If rumor is true, the two did not sign a pre-nuptial agreement. At the time, Jessica was less well-known and Nick had more earning power. During the divorce, the tables were turned around.
Call it Hollywood and how everybody in HW should prob have a pre-nup but just from a realistic perspective, it's good to have. I'm not one to judge b'c we don't have one but even if we were poor going into the marriage, it might have been a good idea to protect inheritances and specific assets that you may not want to share if divorce was imminent (ie like a nice home in Germany!).
When we are young in our 20's,all you think is love,if we love each other everything will be great,You own property together and have common assets.People change after 30,money becomes an issue,you are no long cute in your thinking,you might have your own busness,and the other might too.It might be a huge business that you would have a company,sometimes there is a partner involved.At that time you would want to get a lawyer to protect your interest. What is the percentage of marriages end in divorce?
I have dated a lot of men that now they have nothing.No property,no security.They are afraid to get invoved again. Some men now just want to go out and don't want to commit because for one thing they are still paying all the credit cards that they didn't use,their spouses did. He is the one paying all the bills. Is it fair? Lots of them lost their property and living in Apt.
Why? because they didn't protect themselves. I have a divorce lawyer friend. she will tell you to get a prenup
I would feel insulted if someone handed me a prenup after they proposed.. what is it, a ring in one hand, a stack of papers in the other? I would feel like I wasn't trusted. (and you aren't, no matter how you want to sugar coat it.. the whole reason you are making her sign this, is because "if things go bad" you don't trust her not to run off with everything)
I would take it from the standpoint that, if you can't trust me past wanting to marrying me, with a congenial list of "back up" strategies for when things "go bad", then you are not ready to marry me. I will not be with anyone that I do not trust, or that wouldn't trust me, and I would take it as a personal insult if someone felt they needed to tie my affections for them, into a binding legal agreement having to do with their property.
JMO
I felt really insulted when a guy mentioned to me about a prenup many years ago. I said to him that he didn't love me.If he loved me he wouldn't have said that and at that time I lost my interest. He married a real nice lady who agreed on the prenup. She was smart.
I have never signed a prenup, but I would. I don't think it would "kill the romance" if I were asked to- at least it should not. A premarital agreement does not have to be a negative or a bad thing. U can make it say anything u and your partner agree to. Writing out mutual expectations of your relationship may be the best thing two people can do for each other. Love and security r part of the romance. If u really love a person, u r not in the relationship for what u can get out of it; nor, are u trying to "stick it" to them. In fact u want the other person to be protected and feel safe and secure and r willing to do what it takes to achieve that. A prenup is a tangible act of love that demonstates the sincerity and intentions of both parties. I think two people need to be on the same page before they marry. A prenup is one way u can find that out. There are no gaurantees in love and relationships. No person should have to lose their assets-(especially those attained prior to the marriage) because they took a chance on love. This is just my personal opinion, but I don't want a man to be worse off for having loved and married me...I want to be a blessing and an improvement or added benefit to his life. Even if we break up I want him to be better off for having known me. I certainly hope my lover would reciprocate this sentiment. I don't want to be worse off either.
She makes a good point.. ya. But I don't know.. something just doesn't sit right with me. I wouldn't live with a man I feared would steal from me or lie... just as I wouldn't consent to marry someone that would think the worst of me and even go as far as think I would leave him, and take him to the cleaners.
But perhaps there is some merit, in saying that in all fairness, I've got peanuts to my name. If I had a house in Germany, 3 cars, and 6 figures in the bank that I was comfortably living off in the time being.. maybe I would think differently. would I be more suspicious? YES!! ...but if I was suspicious (even in the slightest) over someone I wanted to marry... I would opt not to marry them at the time.
Gah. still going back and forth. you make very good opposing arguments... but for now, peanuts do as peanuts are. no prenups!
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