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I was just curious to get the opinions from people on this. Is it possible to forgive someone for something they did yet still not like them/want anything to do with them? Is this possible? Or does it mean someone is lounging in the past by not wanting further contact with someone who wronged them?
Is It Possible To Forgive Someone For Something, Yet Still Not Like Them?
Yes, I think so. But it isn't easy, especially if you know that the person does not deserve your forgiveness. It's a free gift. It's a display of Grace.
I try to see things from my point-of-view. Sometimes I hurt people's feelings without even knowing I did. I apologize, give a short explanation, hope that they take it at face value and try to do better next time. I do not look for forgiveness. If they don't forgive me, it is not my problem.
So when I turn the tables on myself and I am mad at somebody for something they did or said, it is my problem. That doesn't mean suck it up. It means that I have control over how I am going to solve my problem.
I can decide to never talk to them again.
I can let them know that I didn't like what they said or did but if I take this route I have to be prepared for two possible responses:
They don't care.
They didn't know they were hurting my feelings.
If the first, there is nothing more to do. If the later, I have to take their apology or explanation at face value and move on. It is how I would want to be treated.
Forgiveness, to me means no longer holding a grudge for an injustice done. If the offense was particularly bad and I could not trust the person at all then I would not be able to keep them in my life. Being fond of them again may not be an option, The point of forgiveness allows the one wronged to move on.
Letting go of painful things in one's past is one of the most important things a person can do to move their life forward. Past baggage holds us back-Traumatic experiences creates synapses in the mind that have no sense of time.And we often fall victim to pattern of negative and self destructive behavior due to this. As I said in another thread, Humans are geared toward survival and coping mechanisms are just an example. Continuous hatred of a person is like taking poison, and expecting the other person to die.
I am speaking from raw experience, School of hard knocks.
I was just curious to get the opinions from people on this. Is it possible to forgive someone for something they did yet still not like them/want anything to do with them? Is this possible? Or does it mean someone is lounging in the past by not wanting further contact with someone who wronged them?
I think it depends on what was done to you.
I believe that forgiveness is a very important part of growing as a human being and it's more for your own peace of mind. Holding grudges will eat you on the inside and will not let your progress. However, sometimes I cannot help how I feel about the person who did me wrong. I may forgive her, but my views of her/him may never be the same.
Besides, some people are toxic enough for me not to invite them back into my life. Fortunately, I don't have a large number of those.
Yes, I think so. But it isn't easy, especially if you know that the person does not deserve your forgiveness. It's a free gift. It's a display of Grace.
This ^ is essentially what I was going to say. Forgiveness is always a good thing. It does not mean you have to like the person or condone the act. Theophane is correct - forgiveness is grace, pure and simple. Grace is not earned; it is a gift.
Yes. I believe you have to forgive to some extent otherwise you are hanging on to bad memories and thoughts. This stops you moving forward in your life.
I left a physically abusive relationship and while I have forgiven him, I have nothing to do with him whatsoever. No sneaking a look at his FB, no text messages, no asking after him with mutual friends. I do not like the man at all. I understand why he did what he did to me but the point is moot.
This protects me and it's allowed me to carry on with my life free from hatred and other negative emotions.
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Yes.
