Would bad credit be a deal breaker for you? (dating, wife, marriage)

[Pierce2011]

If you started dating somebody that you really liked, found attractive, and got along with, then found out later that they had really bad credit, would you end the relationship or keep it going?

[hindsight2020]

Yes, my exwife had terrible credit and her money management sucked. Pretty much indicative of their economic attitudes. It certainly was of my exwife. I learned the hard way. Never again. I also don't barter for qualities anymore. A hot ass (she didn't have that either, what was I thinking?!!?) won't make up for poor management skills, particularly when they are the lesser earning party. It's just a recipe for differences of opinion in the economic realm, which leads to stressors that make living together outright misery if not economic suicide (barely escaped the latter).

Just like discussions on weight management, sexual expectations, prenuptial agreements and geographic relocations, discussions over money are pathologically avoided by most couples in fears of insulting each other's sensitivities. Yeah yeah the ivory tower of CD is full of great couples that have made it work, the real world is full of couples (my failed relationship included) where people are incapable or unwilling to reach a medium where these things can be said AND where drastic but righteous choices be made in order to fulfill compatibility.

I do feel in this regard, the irresponsible parties are the ones who get their butts hurt. Just like prenups, expecting discipline and transparent behavior out of a undisciplined or careless party is cause for indignation. Couple that with a widespread behavior of "avoidance of the topic" by these types, leads to no good in the long run for the most part.

Deal breaker indeed. Most people frown only because it's not a romantic criteria, therefore suggesting it as a deal breaker doesn't pull on the emotional strings of the polyannas that still believe in blindly engaging in life relationships for the romantic enfatuation of a 2 month dopamine high. I digress.

I may be alone but at least I don't have the government stealing 25% of my net income in order to remunerate another individual under the auspices of a wealth-transfer one-sided punitive socio-economic contract [marriage] .

[ImCurlybelle]

I have excellent credit, and sad to say, but in today's times, credit means a lot. So, I'm not sure credit would be a deal breaker, but I certainly wouldn't want to combine our finances, or take on his last name until he cleared up his credit, and got his score back up to at least mid to high 700s.

[MrRational]

Originally Posted by Pierce2011

If you started dating somebody...
they had really bad credit, would you end the relationship or keep it going?

Aside from your phrasing "they had really bad credit" being just far too vague to be meaningful...
to continue to date someone their credit worthiness shouldn't matter much at all.

In the current economy finding anyone without credit or debt issues... well, good luck on that one!
So OP... care to be more specific about what "they had really bad credit" means to you ?

Originally Posted by ImCurlybelle

...but I certainly wouldn't want to combine our finances,
or take on his last name until he cleared up his credit...

See that detail OP? But Curlybelle is describing a relationship well beyond "dating". Right?

Curlybelle, I have great credit too. Want to move to NC?

[ImCurlybelle]

I agree, in this economy many people are having financial issues and lulls, however, it's key to get rid of negative debt. Meaning credit cards- pay them off, get rid of them, make minimum payment if you have to. The smallest payment is better than no payment- all that interest and late fees will drown you ... I've seen people with a laundry list of credit cards, what's that all about ?? All you need is 1 major credit card 'in case of emergencies' and a debit card. And, just an FYI, if you call a credit card company, and are in good standing with them, they will lower your interest rate if you request it. And, if they say 'no,' then cancel with them !

My rule of thumb is if I can't pay cash for it, I don't want it.

[blondiel]

Bad credit would be a dealbreaker for me if the credit issues were due to something that could have been avoided. Often times divorce leaves a person with bad credit. Differences in the value of money and credit can destroy a relationship.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Pierce2011

If you started dating somebody that you really liked, found attractive, and got along with, then found out later that they had really bad credit, would you end the relationship or keep it going?

Unless you plan to marry the person, it doesn't really matter.

[Yzette]

Originally Posted by Pierce2011

If you started dating somebody that you really liked, found attractive, and got along with, then found out later that they had really bad credit, would you end the relationship or keep it going?

Now? After that recession?

No, it would not bother me. So many people were ruined by the economic downturn that I couldn't assume it was anything other than more of the same.

[lilamx]

Well I'm not looking to get married anytime soon, so bad credit isn't a deal-breaker to me because it isn't my problem. If it started to get serious and I started to consider marriage with that person- I would highly reconsider it. He needs to get his finances in check before I consider marrying him. Financial worries are too stressful and if you can avoid it while you can, why wouldn't you?

[poletop1]

No, but habitually irresponsible spending habits and an uninterest to change or improve upon them would be. I've been through sickness, homelessness and unemployment before and know how miserable and heart rending they can be, so I know that someone who gets behind on paying bills is not inherently a ne'er do well.