U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
View Poll Results: Do you beleive in abstinence?
Yes 17 28.33%
No 24 40.00%
Not a simple yes or no question 19 31.67%
I dont know..... 0 0%
Voters: 60. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-19-2011, 01:22 AM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,487 posts, read 5,980,508 times
Reputation: 2876

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ankhharu View Post
I think it's not natural and a bad idea. I think I told this story once. My cousin's wife was a virgin when they got married. 2 kids and 10 years later, she started wondering what it's like to be with another man since he was the only guy she's been with. That curiosity got worse and worse. It's hard enough finding someone that won't cave to temptation. So adding another element to go against instinct and DNA is just increasing the odds in my opinion.
That's when threesomes and swinging comes into play.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-19-2011, 01:32 AM
 
1,754 posts, read 1,938,587 times
Reputation: 3646
Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger View Post
This is true. But the thing is....there's a reason for those mores. If you want to just go with your biological drives and have sex as soon as you're physically ready, your life is likely to be nasty, brutish and short. You won't have many creature comforts. The benefits of civilization (creature comforts) require sexual restraint and some degree of artifice (whether it be waiting to have sex or using birth control or a combination of both).
Are you telling me you don't want men and women to kill each other for the right to mate? What about the joy of drinking brackish water? C'mon brother, where is your sense of primal fun?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2011, 01:51 AM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 2,201,427 times
Reputation: 2141
You don't have to be a virgin to abstain nor do you need to be religious. I was a middle-aged athiest when I concluded that years of serial monogamy hadn't done me any favors. I decided that the next man I had sex with would be my last, so I'd better choose him carefully.

It was a very good decision on my part.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2011, 01:36 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 44,200,749 times
Reputation: 45703
Here's my take on this.

The religious mandate on sex before marriage was made at a time when newlyweds were barely out of childhood themselves--14, 15, and 16. If you look at when people were getting married a scant century ago, age 21 was pushing into spinsterhood. So maintaining one's virginity meant remaining that way for, at the outside, six years of puberty. Plus there was a societal taboo against girls having pre-marital sex because virginity was expected.

Today? The average age of marriage sits around 28 and puberty is occurring earlier. So that means that people have been biological adults for 16 years before consummating. And nobody really things badly of someone who has sex before marriage. So making them wait that long doesn't seem exactly fair.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2011, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
25,151 posts, read 16,257,460 times
Reputation: 36350
Quote:
Originally Posted by CancerianMoonPrincess View Post
Absolutely believe in it. Not just because of my beliefs and preventing unwanted stds and pregnancies, but also on a spiritual and emotional level too. I personally would feel awful and dirty if I slept with someone before my husband. And even if it was my soon-to-be-husband, I still wouldn't do so before the wedding. As some of you know, I associate the white wedding dress with purity. And I want to be able to wear it with a clear conscience. Also, if I did that, there wouldn't be anything to get excited about after the wedding. But this is my own belief.

I waited until I was 35 to get married. Why? Because having the emotional maturity on both parts contributes to the likelyhood of success or failure in my opinion. I was mature enough (in that area, not a lot of others!), to understand that I needed to experience life, know who I was as a person, what I was willing to compromise on, what made me happy... all of those things... before I would be able to form a positive bond with another.

Waiting for sex until marriage, propabably would have caused me to marry at 21. And THAT wouldn't have ended well...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2011, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
25,151 posts, read 16,257,460 times
Reputation: 36350
Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger View Post
This is true. But the thing is....there's a reason for those mores. If you want to just go with your biological drives and have sex as soon as you're physically ready, your life is likely to be nasty, brutish and short. You won't have many creature comforts. The benefits of civilization (creature comforts) require sexual restraint and some degree of artifice (whether it be waiting to have sex or using birth control or a combination of both).
Ummm.. not. I've been promiscuous in the past, not so much now, but I reserve the right!

Life has not been short, certainly not brutish, and I love me my creature comforts! And yes I used birth control, which I certainly wouldn't term artiface.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2011, 01:51 PM
 
2,490 posts, read 3,529,134 times
Reputation: 2859
I'm waiting until I get married. I'll remain a virgin until my wedding night.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2011, 01:58 PM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 4,300,958 times
Reputation: 2032
Let's be clear are we talking hours, or a lifetime? Cause I had sex at like 5 AM, and then I abstained till 11:30am, and I'm thinking about abstaining till 10 tonight.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2011, 02:02 PM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,497,618 times
Reputation: 1916
As someone else said, I wouldn't buy a car without test driving it so my answer should be obvious. I can't imagine waiting and then finding out you have no sexual chemistry at all. There's a fun lifetime ahead.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2011, 02:25 PM
 
Location: California
29,163 posts, read 30,957,342 times
Reputation: 24208
I knew many who vowed chastity until marriage, until they started dating. LOL.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 - Top