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View Poll Results: Do you beleive in abstinence?
Yes 17 28.33%
No 24 40.00%
Not a simple yes or no question 19 31.67%
I dont know..... 0 0%
Voters: 60. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-20-2011, 11:12 AM
 
5,387 posts, read 6,252,685 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post
Well, 50 or 60 years ago, most women did get married in their teens. Statistics from the late 1950s show that over 50% of all first time brides were 19 and younger, with 18 being the most common age to get married. Most men were married by 22.

But back then, college didn't hold the significance that it does today, a man could earn just a high school diploma, and have a decent job and be able to have a home and support his wife and family. The economy was booming, jobs were plentiful, and incomes were rapidly rising. The cost of living was cheaper as well, and as I said, a man could support his wife and family on only one income as a middle class family and still have money left over.

All of this of course would encourage early marriage and parenthood. Without all the financial stress, there would be less conflict in marriages, thus leading to lower divorce rates.
All excellent and very valid points; thx 90sman. Yes society ultimately sets the "rules" and the parameters, for when to marry -- but I think I prefer the "old rules" to the new ones
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Old 06-20-2011, 11:16 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
And keep in mind that many of these couples got married because of pregnancy. I've seen statistics (I don't know if they're online anywhere) that prior to widespread birth control, 10-20% of brides were pregnant at their weddings.
Yes that is true. I read that more women walked down the aisle being pregnant during this decade to a level not seen since the early 1800s. It sounds like it was more frowned down upon in the 1950s to have a baby out of wedlock than it was during other times. But I could be wrong.
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Old 06-20-2011, 11:23 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
All excellent and very valid points; thx 90sman. Yes society ultimately sets the "rules" and the parameters, for when to marry -- but I think I prefer the "old rules" to the new ones
I personally prefer the "old rules" too. But I think the current delay in marriage and parenthood has more to due with the economic situation, although societal attitudes have played a part too.

If you look at marriage statistics, you'll see that the marriage rate started to drop and the age at first marriage started to increase more rapidly around 1974, which was the year of the oil crisis. Including other factors, such as the faltering economic growth of the 1970s and falling or stable incomes after robust growth since the end of WWII. The cost of living started to rise at a rapid rate during this time as well. Due to all of these things, college became increasingly important to have a steady job and income. So, people became discouraged and delayed marriage. People also struggled more financially leading to higher divorce rates. During the 1980s, 1990s and more so in the 2000s, the lower and middle class families began struggling more and more while the rich were seeing big gains. The inequality gap between the rich and the poor has become so large that it's indescribable. While the middle class isn't really going anywhere but at the same time, still struggling. This has encouraged people to go to college, causing the cost of college to increase tremendously and making students leave school with thousands of dollars in debt, further causing them to delay marriage.

It has literally become a trap and a cycle.
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Old 06-20-2011, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,412 posts, read 24,151,076 times
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Being grown up is full of responsibilities and not a lot of fun and pleasurable times. Sex is one of the things you can share with someone you love that doesn't cost anything, and both people have a great time and end up even closer. Why not do it?

As long as you both enjoy and no one gets hurt, what are you waiting for? A piece of paper that says you can?

I wish I had had MORE, a lot more, premarital sex. I ended up practicing abstinence for most of my 35+ year marriage. It turned out the H was asexual or something like that. If I'd had a lot more sex before I was married I might have figured it out before I got the piece of paper.
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Old 06-20-2011, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 2,247,484 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post
Well, 50 or 60 years ago, most women did get married in their teens. Statistics from the late 1950s show that over 50% of all first time brides were 19 and younger, with 18 being the most common age to get married. Most men were married by 22. The 1950s, had on record, the earliest average marrying ages.

But back then, college didn't hold the significance that it does today, a man could earn just a high school diploma, and have a decent job and be able to have a home and support his wife and family. The economy was booming, jobs were plentiful, and incomes were rapidly rising. The cost of living was cheaper as well, and as I said, a man could support his wife and family on only one income as a middle class family and still have money left over.

Because of the healthy economic situation, there was no need to go to college and since women married young and were housewives, they knew they would be supported by their husbands. So, there really wasn't any reason for them to continue their schooling. Once people graduated high school at 17 and 18, they had nothing else to do but just get married and start their own family.

All of this of course would encourage early marriage and parenthood. Without all the financial stress, there would be less conflict in marriages, thus leading to lower divorce rates.
Excellent point. As I see it, one of the problems with delaying marriage and having a history of multiple sexual partners before marriage is that I don't really think we are designed to handle multiple intimate relationships on an emotional and psychological level. Maybe I'm projecting because that's how I feel about my past. But I see it in other people too.

I see an awful lot of young people today who are shockingly jaded and cynical to the point where their ability to deeply trust and bond is damaged. Listening to them talk about their love lives, if I didn't know better, I'd think I was listening to a haggard, middle-aged person.

I think our biological clocks need to catch up with us culturally. In my opinion, it'd be great if we didn't enter puberty until age 24, and if we could extend our fertility by a decade. That'd solve a lot of problems I think.
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