Online dating sites experiences (guys, young, ugly, friends)
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I am on POF and I don't consider myself "ugly"... I don't have the money to be spending monthly on the other sites... I don't contact men first either... I do look for information in the profile so have somebody help you there...ask a friend to take a good picture.. not one that you use your cell phone with in a mirror... women like to see that you made some effort... when you do write... try to show interest in their likes in their profile... just from someone that is frustrated also w/ online dating... many many trials/ meet and greets... hang in there... love finds you when you least expect it
It's been awhile since I used dating sites much, but whatever site you use, a very well written profile and some good photos are essential. A good title or tagline that arrests the attention will help get someone to actually view your profile. In fact, if your profile is really good and you're reasonably photogenic, women will initiate contact with you and you won't have to put in as much effort. I think about 90% of the dates I went on were from contacts initiated by women.
The free sites are of limited use, IMO. Yes, they are free, and they can produce results, but there are a lot of junk profiles as well, put there by people who aren't serious, or are there for other reasons. You have to do more extensive screening, but once again, if you can tempt them to contact you, the odds are much better. The vast majority of my dates came from pay sites - the cost barrier helps exclude the time-wasters.
What I said was that I have always dated attractive women. That doesn't mean that women are lining up to go on dates with me (I wish they did). It generally takes months some times years before the next one comes along. Its been a year since my last breakup, and I feel ready for a relationship and its been frustrating as anyone in my circle seems to be taken or I'm not attracted to, so I gave online dating a shot.
Just remember, attractive is a subjective concept. Also, what is dating to you in the past?
I would say that women in your age range are going for more than just looks. They are disecting your profile to get a picture of who you are beyond the picture.
I met my fiance on match.com. We are younger (at the time, she was 28, I 31), and what she was most attracted to was what I had written. She felt I knew myself and what I was looking for.
Spend some time on your writeup! It may pay big dividends
How do I explain my dilemma: I have joined online dating sites such as Plenty of Fish, and some others in the past. I have never actually gone on a date with anyone on these sites.
I am in my late 40's and In real life, I have always dated really attractive women who are generally 2-15 years younger than me. But on dating sites I only seem to be approached by washed-ups who are 5-10 years older. When I send a message to a woman who I consider to barely make it in the "attractive" zone, I never even get a response. Whats the deal with that?
It is possible that I am not photogenic..but I have posted a number of photos that are descent. I am curious to know if others have the same or better experience than what I've had.
Please do not tell me that I need to lower my standards or that I think too much of myself or that I should prepare myself to remain single for a long time etc. I think there should be chemistry with someone before we can date them and I much rather remain single than to date someone I am not attracted to.
All I am interested is to know what your online dating experience has been.
Let me get this straight - if they're older than you, that makes them 'washed-up', but if you're 15 years older than them, that you're not washed-up? Double standards abound.
And perhaps those who you write to who you consider to 'barely make it in the attractive zone' can sense it somehow. It's not very flattering to feel like someone's just making do with you.
If you're not photogenic, that may be working against you in the online realm which tends to be more shallow. Try to experiment with meeting in person as well and compare your odds. Some do better online, while others do better in person.
Last edited by temazepam; 06-20-2011 at 06:13 PM..
There is a HUGE difference between the types of people on POF and other sites. I did POF when I wasn't sure if I really wanted a relationship, and it's like being in some hole in the wall bar, plus I found the people more sketchy than normal.
I'm in your age group, so we would be in the same situation.
I was approached by such a wide range, and mostly people who I don't think would have the gumption in real life. I wouldn't even consider dating like 90% of the people who contacted. The other 9% were weeded out quickly after talking with them. Found my SO in the mere 1%. And really that's all you need.
Don't feel discouraged because the women who are contacting you are not your normal dating "demographic", but keep in mind the attractive women are getting bombarded, they are not contacting guys, but being contacted.
You would not believe the amount of winks, IMs, and messages I received in a month. I'm not saying I'm all that, but for a woman in our age group, if you've held together well, write a decent profile, and have a reasonable career, you will be overwhelmed.
If I were you I wouldn't be waiting for women to contact you.
I know you said you send messages too, but it seems like your waiting more for women to contact you overall.
What I said was that I have always dated attractive women. That doesn't mean that women are lining up to go on dates with me (I wish they did). It generally takes months some times years before the next one comes along. Its been a year since my last breakup, and I feel ready for a relationship and its been frustrating as anyone in my circle seems to be taken or I'm not attracted to, so I gave online dating a shot.
So, what's with the complaining then? Did you think that using an online service will somehow get you there faster? Not sure why you would think that. However, you can use the search feature here, and find a jillion threads with examples of successes, as well as failures. As with everything else, you only get out of it what you put into it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by temazepam
Let me get this straight - if they're older than you, that makes them 'washed-up', but if you're 15 years older than them, that you're not washed-up? Double standards abound.
And perhaps those who you write to who you consider to 'barely make it in the attractive zone' can sense it somehow. It's not very flattering to feel like someone's just making do with you.
If you're not photogenic, that may be working against you in the online realm which tends to be more shallow. Try to experiment with meeting in person as well and compare your odds. Some do better online, while others do better in person.
There is a HUGE difference between the types of people on POF and other sites. I did POF when I wasn't sure if I really wanted a relationship, and it's like being in some hole in the wall bar, plus I found the people more sketchy than normal.
Eh. I can't agree. I met my last two BFs there...and both are "good people". One is a very successful lawyer, in fact.
Never did the dating sites thing. But did date men from the net. Honestly people say only weirdos date from the net. Um I dated peeps that weren't from the net and they can be also very freaken scarey. Put a pic of you on your site doing things at a party with friends, at the beach, traveling, and believe it or not candid pics are great.
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Double standards abound.
