So I married a man who cheated on his 1st wife....... (date, cheater)
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My dad said the same thing about all his mistresses and marriages ....3 times.
People do and embark on relationships for whatever reasons makes them happy at the time. 6 years doesn't mean he hasn't or never will or that his previous history is any guarantee that he will.
My theory on the whole thing was to always remember -- what someone can do with you - they can do to you. All three of them failed to see that and preached on and on they were the one and only in his eyes until - SURPRISE and they would talk to me like I was suppose to provide sympathy. Yeah, like the first one who would talk to me without any regard for the fact it was MY MOTHER she screwed around on and how it affected all of his children. Sympathy of all things made me shake my head - I simply could not believe how oblivious and self absorbed these women were. They were married quite a while and he ended up with TWO mistresses that I knew of and even paid for their apartments and everything. Someone was purposely turning a blind eye to it because there was no way they could believe it. I'll say it again, what someone can do with you, they most certainly do to you.
The only reason I think this last one may last is because he's broke now and couldn't afford one, but if he could -he would.
I'd also like to add this does not just apply to men, I've seen women do the exact same thing.
Last edited by Thursday007; 06-23-2011 at 07:09 AM..
My FIL and cheated on my MIL, they divorced. He remarried, then he cheated on that wife, they divorced. He had several g/f's after the 2nd wife, ALL of which ended because he cheated. Has no had the same g/f for 10 years, he has CHEATED ON HER too, and yes, she knows. Dang! This man should have to wear something that says "HAZARD: PERPETUAL CHEATER" .......In his case, once a cheater, always a cheater
Cheated on her with me, by the way. I was his mistress for over a year until he finally divorced her and married me. He always tells me I'm the love of his life, which is how I feel about him also.
And for those who may say "it will never work out-once a cheater, always a cheater", I'm here to just say that THAT typical response isn't always true. Married 6 blissful years and counting.
Just wanted to let you guys know that a cheater isn't always unfaithful.
Honey...give it 10 more years and see if you're still singing this tune...or if another women is singing this tune about YOUR current husband.
There was a saying among the elders of my home town....(in so many words) "If you get a man ill-intentionally, you'll loose him the same way."
Cheated on her with me, by the way. I was his mistress for over a year until he finally divorced her and married me. He always tells me I'm the love of his life, which is how I feel about him also.
And for those who may say "it will never work out-once a cheater, always a cheater", I'm here to just say that THAT typical response isn't always true. Married 6 blissful years and counting.
Just wanted to let you guys know that a cheater isn't always unfaithful.
You may be right..Just because he married her doesn't mean he was married to the right person, But was she living in the house with him when you two had the affair? Did he tell her I'm seeing someone else? I no longer love you? Did he move out of the house when he started seeing you? Did he sleep with you and her at the same time..Im not meaning together? How did the wife find out? Where did you meet him? Did it bother you he was married? How long was he married?
He may love you, only his character will tell you.
IMHO, I think a man who cheats, even once, has a serious character flaw. Any woman who gets with a man who she knows is married, has the same flaw. I don't think it's anything to proud of. And even though he was married, and that woman my have not been the woman he was "supposed" to be with or they grew apart, whatever, he should've divorced before cheating. But that just my opinion.
IMHO, I think a man who cheats, even once, has a serious character flaw. Any woman who gets with a man who she knows is married, has the same flaw. I don't think it's anything to proud of. And even though he was married, and that woman my have not been the woman he was "supposed" to be with or they grew apart, whatever, he should've divorced before cheating. But that just my opinion.
There are always exceptions in life (cases of severe abuse, alienation of affection, etc.), but for the most part I agree with this. Cheating men get screwed on this too. They trade in a faithful woman for a woman they know to be of bad enough character to mess around with a married man. So, when they are married, what's to say she won't look for some excitement down the road. Not only do I think there is a high probability that Ass will be dissappointed down the road, I think there is also a high probability that she will meet someone new too.
There are people who are so miserable in their marriages that they finally seek someone outside the bounds of their marriage. And when they find that person, they are content to not look any more.
But for the most part, cheaters are looking for a thrill. That's not a basis for a sound, long-term relationship.
As the saying goes, when a man divorces his wife to marry his mistress, he's usually just creating a job opening.
Without knowing the specific people involved then it's hard to say.
Maybe he cheated on his first wife because their sex life sucked and in 5 years if you get sick with something and can't meet his needs he will start plowing the waitress at the local IHOP.
Maybe not.
It's for each person to figure out and deal with the consequences.
I know someone in the OP's situation where he still cheats by nailing his ex once in a while and she thinks it's funny that now she is the mistress and the original mistress is clueless. Yeah, messed up but I have to agree it's funny in a twisted way. What a great guy!
P.S. I will say it's interesting just HOW MANY threads we have around here where someone married a known cheater then comes crying to the forum about it. Sandra Bullock Syndrome apparantly.
Without knowing the specific people involved then it's hard to say.
Maybe he cheated on his first wife because their sex life sucked and in 5 years if you get sick with something and can't meet his needs he will start plowing the waitress at the local IHOP.
We know of one woman who is in a marriage so awful that, if she went out and had an affair, we wouldn't applaud but we wouldn't disapprove either.
This guy is a mental abuser. I mean, when the therapist recommends that she go out and cheat, that's saying something.
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