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I think as we age sometimes health issues have a lot to do with a persons emotions and their desire to cope. When I went through our states police academy one of our instructors advised the students to be more careful handling older men, his reasoning was they will not tolerate what younger men will. His meaning was, you can push old men only so far before they fight back, They don't fear the consequences of fighting back as much as younger people.
As I've gotten older I've found myself being less tolerant of stupidity, especially from people who should (and do) know better. That part cuts across all age groups, by the way. Actually I'm less tolerant of stupidity from older people. As reference I'll be 57 on Saturday.
I can give several pages of examples if asked.
Other than that I still max the Type A personality screens.
nite ryder; that's because modern law-enforcement is arrogantly intollerant. Back in the day you could hurl a punch when it was called for, no big deal. Now it's suddenly "aggrovated assault" or whatever the term translates to in english.
On topic;
I think it comes from realizing that as fast as you are nice to someone they'll try to see if they can use you for a doormat, and everything sierrAZ listed on page 1.
I used to be the kind of guy who'll go out of my way to help people with whatever I was able to, I think I still was 2 or 3 years ago, but now people around me would probably think of me pretty soon when thinking about top 5 a-holes they know.
What happened?
I realized I'll get nothing but **** and **** back.
I really don't think kind people become nasty in old age but people that "acted" like they were kind can become themselves when they get older. So they are their true selfs and not acting anymore.
What causes ppl to (tend to) become less kind, as they get older? I'm definitely not saying *all* ppl become meaner with age, just that one thing I have definitely noticed over the years is that as a person ages, the levels of basic kindness in regular interactions with others usually plummets, across the board. Some of the very meanest ppl I've come across, have been in their later years. Why does age tend to make ppl's basic levels of compassion and positive emotional expression of things like love, kindness, and affection, harden and become much more inhibited and repressed?
There is no answer to your question because your basic assumption is incorrect.
What you may be noticing is decreasing patience in dealing with those who lack common courtesy - not moving when an elderly person gets on the bus and some very able 20ish yo is sitting in the seats that say "GET UP OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT for the handicap and elderly." Maybe you're noticing an irritability when an elderly person holds the door open so the next person can grab it and that person lets it shut in the face of someone handicapped or elderly or juggling toddlers. I know I've made comments - LOUD - for the person after me who is too lazy or lacking in courtesy to hold it for the mother - and I've gone back to help her.
I'm elderly AND disabled and I no longer have patience for stupid.
There is no answer to your question because your basic assumption is incorrect.
What you may be noticing is decreasing patience in dealing with those who lack common courtesy - not moving when an elderly person gets on the bus and some very able 20ish yo is sitting in the seats that say "GET UP OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT for the handicap and elderly." Maybe you're noticing an irritability when an elderly person holds the door open so the next person can grab it and that person lets it shut in the face of someone handicapped or elderly or juggling toddlers. I know I've made comments - LOUD - for the person after me who is too lazy or lacking in courtesy to hold it for the mother - and I've gone back to help her.
I'm elderly AND disabled and I no longer have patience for stupid.
I respectfully disagree that my base assumption is incorrect. Granted, it certainly may not be universally true. And I did not mean that being unkind applies exclusively to elderly ppl, either.
Ppl tend to *lose* something fundamentally human, about themselves, as they grow older vs. when they were younger -- and particularly from when when they were very young. I called it "kindness" that is lost, but you can call it whatever you want. I could invert the analogy and say the older a person is, the more likely they are to be angry, jaded, coldhearted, cruel, merciless, etc. I have seen it in action with my own eyes, many times. And especially in the geographical area where I live.
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 06-23-2011 at 03:10 PM..
Reason: Edits / Adds
I respectfully disagree that my base assumption is incorrect. Granted, it certainly may not be universally true. And I did not mean that being unkind applies exclusively to elderly ppl, either.
Ppl tend to *lose* something fundamentally human, about themselves, as they grow older vs. when they were younger -- and particularly from when when they were very young. I called it "kindness" that is lost, but you can call it whatever you want. I could flip the analogy around and say the older a person is, the more likely they are to be angry, jaded, coldhearted, cruel, etc. I have seen it in action with my own eyes, many times. And especially in the geographical area where I live.
Perhaps this is mostly just where you live because I certainly haven't seen that among the people I know! Where do you live? I'll stay away!
I respectfully disagree that my base assumption is incorrect. Granted, it certainly may not be universally true. And I did not mean that being unkind applies exclusively to elderly ppl, either.
Ppl tend to *lose* something fundamentally human, about themselves, as they grow older vs. when they were younger -- and particularly from when when they were very young. I called it "kindness" that is lost, but you can call it whatever you want. I could flip the analogy around and say the older a person is, the more likely they are to be angry, jaded, coldhearted, cruel, etc. I have seen it in action with my own eyes, many times. And especially in the geographical area where I live.
With all due respect,this post is patently untrue for the majority of people.
You obviously don't live in the real world because if you did you would see that most older people still retain that sense of community, that 'help your neighbours' attitude, that caring and commitment that you don't find among the younger crowd because they're too busy on the goddamn cellphones.
So you came across some mean old codgers. I have come across the most self centred young people. Unless you work in a very public workplace like I do, your perceptions are entirely skewed. I see a wide cross section of the public and the nicest patient's I care for, in general, are older people probably 55+
Kindness by the way is a personal trait, it is not an age related attribute.
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