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When my ex and I got married at 26, we were not going to have children. We were going to travel instead. At 31, the baby urge hit both of us and we decided to have a baby. She was awful--colicky and hard to get along with and wouldn't have anyone but mom. So he took me out on a date and suggested that maybe we should try for another one. And we had another girl and so glad we did--the girls were the only thing that made my marriage worth it and they are the joy of my life. And we traveled anyway--several years ago we took the then 12 and 14 yo girls out on a round-the-world trip for a year and had a blast with them.
Do people change their minds when it comes to kids when they fall in love? One of the most common things said is that "when you meet the right man/woman, you'll change your mind and want kids with him/her."
I'm just curious if anyone has had this happened to them or someone they know. If not, then explain the case against that notion.
I think that after a few years of being together most couples (if they have any inkling to do so)will then want children..
Do people change their minds when it comes to kids when they fall in love? One of the most common things said is that "when you meet the right man/woman, you'll change your mind and want kids with him/her."
I'm just curious if anyone has had this happened to them or someone they know. If not, then explain the case against that notion.
Yes I really loved someone (still do) and while I am on the fence about marriage and kids - if he wanted to get married tomorrow, I'd probably do it. Because I love him and there's nobody else in the world quite like him. Now, I don't know if it's going to work out and I am free to focus on other things at the moment. But it happens.
Cynical as this may sound, I believe people lose their minds when they fall in love. So great is their desire to keep that special person in their lives that they will agree to things they didn't necessarily want (eg marriage or children). Some people, female people in particular, think of this as 'moving forward' or 'taking the relationship to the next level.' The terms I'd use for it are rather less complimentary and best left to the imagination.
Considering the state humans have left the planet in, I think having children is downright unethical. I also can't imagine wanting someone in my life, let alone changing my entire belief system to make sure they stick around. Thank God a wheelchair reduces the social and family pressure to meet someone, settle down and perpetuate the whole wretched cycle. I'll have no part of it.
Maybe some people change their minds when they fall in love, but I think that they were ambivalent to begin with. Someone who is dead-set against having children don't change their minds for the most part, and the "right" partner is one that shares that sentiment.
Do people change their minds when it comes to kids when they fall in love? One of the most common things said is that "when you meet the right man/woman, you'll change your mind and want kids with him/her."
I'm just curious if anyone has had this happened to them or someone they know. If not, then explain the case against that notion.
That's pretty individual.
I remember when, shortly after we married, my wife and I opined that it would have been nice if we'd had children together. However, being 48 and 50, respectively, both having children from former marriages and she having had a hysterectomy some years earlier it was, thankfully, impossible.
Neither of us would have wished to start from scratch again when it came to parenting.
Cynical as this may sound, I believe people lose their minds when they fall in love. So great is their desire to keep that special person in their lives that they will agree to things they didn't necessarily want (eg marriage or children). Some people, female people in particular, think of this as 'moving forward' or 'taking the relationship to the next level.' The terms I'd use for it are rather less complimentary and best left to the imagination.
Considering the state humans have left the planet in, I think having children is downright unethical. I also can't imagine wanting someone in my life, let alone changing my entire belief system to make sure they stick around. Thank God a wheelchair reduces the social and family pressure to meet someone, settle down and perpetuate the whole wretched cycle. I'll have no part of it.
You revived a 6-year-old thread because.....?
In my observation, people don't change their minds about wanting kids when they fall in love. To the contrary, when marriage comes up as a topic, they discuss the issue and forge no-kids agreements. Those agreements may go out the window later, when the woman's mommy-hormones hit, sometime in the 30's, or they may not, if her mommy-hormones don't hit, and she stays on track for no kids.
There are no generalizations applicable on this issue, as with most issues that get raised on this sub-forum.
Cynical as this may sound, 1) I believe people lose their minds when they fall in love. So great is their desire to keep that special person in their lives that they will agree to things they didn't necessarily want (eg marriage or children). Some people, female people in particular, think of this as 'moving forward' or 'taking the relationship to the next level.' 2) The terms I'd use for it are rather less complimentary and best left to the imagination.
Considering the state humans have left the planet in, 3) I think having children is downright unethical. I also can't imagine wanting someone in my life, let alone changing my entire belief system to make sure they stick around. Thank God a wheelchair reduces the social and family pressure to meet someone, settle down 4) and perpetuate the whole wretched cycle. I'll have no part of it.
1) My guess is that you've never done so and/or no one's every fallen in love with you .
2) Thank you!
3) As you will! You do know what is said about opinions, don't you?
4) Good! You do us a kindness.
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