Ex's Friend and the Bro Code? (dating, men, jealous, friendship)

[Profoundcake]

I met my ex online and we dated for only 2 1/2 months. Around the 45 day mark he suddenly stopped talking to me without any warning or reason. I was panicked and lost not knowing what the hell was going on. He finally came around and, like I fool, I came back to him. Then he did it again, but first he broke up with me over the phone. Then ignored me for 4 days. He revealed that his feelings for me had wavered and that he "thought they would change" but they hadn't. Then a few days after breaking up, he asked me to sleep with him. So, yes, this guy is an ***.

However, during our time together I met his friends. They were astoundingly supportive and one of his friends and I clicked really well. Over time we've gotten closer. So much so that other's are mentioning the chemistry between us. (my ex was one of them) I do not want to encourage anything because of his friendship with my ex. Normally I would drop everything but I am left to wonder the possibilities because

A. My ex and I were together for such a short time
B. He broke up with me, not the other way around
C. He clearly wasn't that into me in the first place

Obviously, this is something that would have to be approached delicately and discussed if anything happened at all, but I'm curious about other's takes on it.

Other info: once my ex finally got the 'nads to start talking to me again we decided to go the friendship route because we have so many of the same friends and dont want to make it awkward for them. So we still hang out in groups.

[SwedishViking]

If you go for him you're the kind of chick who make men spill each others blood on the ground.

They shouldn't if acting rationally, but many men are weak to the more savage instincts of our kind and there will likely be jealousy, even if modern men will at least refrain from getting physical about it for the most part, there will still be bad blood lurking in the air...

[bouncethelight]

If you have real chemistry with this guy - more than lust, that's easy - I mean real chemistry on multiple levels - then go for it!

Who cares if some boy you briefly dated is a mutual friend? Clearly it wasn't a serious relationship, and part of dating is experimenting and seeing what you like and what you want. If you've found that in this new guy, why pass it up?

[bouncethelight]

Originally Posted by SwedishViking

If you go for him you're the kind of chick who make men spill each others blood on the ground.

They shouldn't if acting rationally, but many men are weak to the more savage instincts of our kind and there will likely be jealousy, even if modern men will at least refrain from getting physical about it for the most part, there will still be bad blood lurking in the air...

He'll get over it...

[himain]

You guys were together for like 5 mins and he seems like a dyck. Go withn trhe friend. He'll probably treat you better. Good luck!

[Thursday007]

Or you're just being passed around...ponder this carefully.

[purehuman]

I don't understand why you consider the possible feelings of a man who proved himself a user and a jerk...more important than the the chance to build a new relationship with another man, that you proffess to have a great chemistry with and get along so well with?...there's no need for you to pussyfoot around your ex in order to establish a new relationship with another if you so desire....I think your remaining friends with the (ex) may possibly prove a barrier to you though...

[ALackOfCreativity]

Originally Posted by Profoundcake

Normally I would drop everything but I am left to wonder the possibilities because

A. My ex and I were together for such a short time
B. He broke up with me, not the other way around
C. He clearly wasn't that into me in the first place

Add "D. When the friend runs is by the ex he is given the thumbs up/go ahead" and you're gold.

Feel free to go ahead with this, just do it slow enough that the guy can get "permission" from his friend.

[PassTheChocolate]

I say go for it. You owe your 5 second ex nothing. Someone you already know and trust makes a great candidate.

[optiflex]

This idea of I don't like this person, this person mistreated me..but I've entered into an agreement to stay friends, for the sake....I always enjoy hearing this. It always comes out of the mouuth of the nice one, and they're idiotically assuming the Ass is going to adhere to it!