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Sex is...............sex. It isn't a relationship, it isn't love. Bowling is bowling - dancing is dancing. Neither are a relationship. See the similarity?
Now love? Neither of you even LIKES the other.
What you have is abuse - both to the other. Why are you abusing him? Why do you allow him to abuse you?
Reading all these replies have just literally cracked the box Ive been living inside of for the last 6 months. I just asked myself the question put forth to me, as in why I think this is all ok and it makes me friggen cry my eyes out. Maybe I really should seek a therapist...Im going to be looking into that this next coming month to see what I can see, bc obviously what I'm seeing now is horse crap.
Im feeling some clarity and it feels really good. REALLY good. And even the tears feel really good too, feels like I haven't cried in years. Maybe I haven't. Thank you all for your honest opinions and support. I really cant express my gratitude. Im in a lonely spot at the moment, and its like your voices shout out through the darkness.
But as Bob Marley has wisely stated, "Out of the darkness there must come out the light."
And Im going to try really, really hard.
Reading all these replies have just literally cracked the box Ive been living inside of for the last 6 months. I just asked myself the question put forth to me, as in why I think this is all ok and it makes me friggen cry my eyes out. Maybe I really should seek a therapist...Im going to be looking into that this next coming month to see what I can see, bc obviously what I'm seeing now is horse crap.
Im feeling some clarity and it feels really good. REALLY good. And even the tears feel really good too, feels like I haven't cried in years. Maybe I haven't. Thank you all for your honest opinions and support. I really cant express my gratitude. Im in a lonely spot at the moment, and its like your voices shout out through the darkness.
But as Bob Marley has wisely stated, "Out of the darkness there must come out the light."
And Im going to try really, really hard.
Contrary to what others may think, I DONT recommend a therapist. Why do you need to keep talking about this... talking talking talking is going to get people nowhere in my opinion. Let it go, focus on GOOD things, feel good and move ahead. Why are you thinking of it as painful or self-depracating? Why not focus on the good parts and only on the good parts? Great sex with a younger man who was good at it!
Jacquibleu....you THINK you love him....but really it's the amazing sex you love .....nothing wrong with that....but don't get yourself into a rut thinking that this man is the only one who you can have amazing sex with.....believe me when I say...you can also have AMAZING sex with someone who respects you, treats you with curtesy, and wants to know YOU, and not just your body......goodluck to you, I hope you find peace.
It sounds like you both are blinded by your sexual compatibility, and can't see how incompatible you are otherwise. It happens all the time; I am pretty sure I have done the same thing at some time in my past. By writing this thread, I think you are starting to face the truth. It's time to move on.
It took you awhile to dig yourself into this hole, it will also take awhile to dig yourself out, unless you decide to just stop. That would be the best course of action to take. It is too bad you work together, because that will make it harder, unless you find another job. Get away from him, you are in love with the sex, not the person. Like other posters have suggested, find someone who respects you and treats you right, and keep your mouth shut, don't start doing this same thing with the next guy. It takes two people with no sense to fight. If either of you were smart, you would walk away instead of throwing fuel on the fire.
Contrary to what others may think, I DONT recommend a therapist. Why do you need to keep talking about this... talking talking talking is going to get people nowhere in my opinion. Let it go, focus on GOOD things, feel good and move ahead. Why are you thinking of it as painful or self-depracating? Why not focus on the good parts and only on the good parts? Great sex with a younger man who was good at it!
Oh, for pete's sake How old are you???
Any 33 year old woman who allows herself to stoop as low as our OP has and who volunteers to be treated this badly has real issues.
"great sex with a younger man is where it's at"??? Sure, IF you have your act together and don't think you're madly in love with such a creep
Please stop giving this tortured woman any advice, you really don't seem to know what you are talking about. Just sayin'...
You could have done the sex without the crazy, but are beyond that now.
You can have amazing sexual chemistry and absolutely no thing else in common, and sometimes that can work as long as you see it and don't try to make it a "relationship". But, you've already gone there and it got damn ugly, so time to call it.
Chalk it up to a lesson learned...and you probably learned a lot about the kind of sex that turns you on....and break it up now. Do what you have to do to get through the days and let time do it's thing.
Good luck....and get moving while the getting is good! I know what you mean about that crazy 'peak'. I also found someone 6 years younger at about your age...I get it
Look, to love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer.
To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness.
I hope you're getting this down. And I hope this helps.
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