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Old 07-01-2011, 10:30 AM
 
104 posts, read 49,743 times
Reputation: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
I agree with this.

In my first marriage, I bought into my husband's idea of "Holidays are just a scam by the card companies, we don't need gifts to show we love each other." I wanted to prove that I was NOT a high-maintenance princess. This lasted for years when I PRETENDED not to care that I got nothing for birthday/Xmas, etc.

We split up for unrelated reasons, but when I told my current husband about this, he said, "What? Why WOULDN'T he want to celebrate you?" (That's how he put it..."celebrate" me. I thought that was weird). He said, "Was he a Quaker or something? These are the little things that life is made of!"

My point is that, even though I thought I was being low-maintenance (and for the most part, I am), I was denying the part of myself that wanted to be cherished and yes, celebrated. This has been the case throughout our relationship. He went to every OB/GYN appt with me when I was pregnant. He gives a lot of thought to gifts for me. He is just generally very romantic and thoughtful.

Don't get me wrong, though! It isn't one-sided. I also surprise him with great gifts. I once surprised him with a 4-day trip to watch his baseball team at Spring Training.

Also, please don't bash the OP for expressing her feelings. You may not agree with them, but at least she has the courage to share something she knows will not be popular.
I think women should romanced and going on trips is never wrong... I agree with that.

But boodhabunny, judging by that post alone seems to have some issues... Normal women surely don't think like she do, hell I know they don't
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Old 07-01-2011, 10:33 AM
 
4,900 posts, read 2,525,891 times
Reputation: 2447
Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
Don't get me wrong, though! It isn't one-sided. I also surprise him with great gifts. I once surprised him with a 4-day trip to watch his baseball team at Spring Training
There you go. It goes back and forth, cool!

The examples I gave about a girl getting front row tickets to my favorite sporting event or concert, dropping by my office with my favorite snack, etc. are things girls I have seen enjoying doing for me as much as I enjoy sending them flowers regardless of not being February 14th or a special occasion but just because I feel like it, taking them to a candlelight dinner, just a simple car picnic (see my profile pic), etc. These things go back and forth and I donít have to be their husband for them to do those things or have a relationships of many years. We do this from the get go.

Quote:
Also, please don't bash the OP for expressing her feelings. You may not agree with them, but at least she has the courage to share something she knows will not be popular.
You're right. It is a forum so she can express herself just fine. Also, being a woman itís not like people will bash her and tell her sheís wrong.
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Old 07-01-2011, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,851 posts, read 51,273,878 times
Reputation: 22715
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
Not so sure in falafel-eating countries though.
I thought you of all people should know!

http://www.city-data.com/forum/19826681-post2198.html

Today I saw you edited the post and added something else to the falafel to throw us off, but these two foods are just not generally eaten in the same place outside of the US.
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Old 07-01-2011, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 1,291,994 times
Reputation: 2103
Our marriage is not one sided. Every day I do things for my husband to make his life easier and more enjoyable. We love each other and we both enjoy pleasing each other.

My husband loves giving me the "princess treatment". He just does. I guess it makes him feel good. He pouts if I am not feeling receptive to princess treatment. There is a sparkle in his eyes when he dotes on me. He's a passionate man, a hard-core romantic who loves grand gestures. I think it must be the Italian in him. I love him for it. Why would I not want him to feel that way? What is so wrong with that?

We're happy. I love doing things for him as he does for me. I do whatever I can to put a smile on his face but we are two different people. Our needs and wants are not exactly the same. We love each other and we show and express our love in our own way.

One sided marriages do not work.

Edited to add: Ladies, if you enjoy being romanced and want passion in your life, marry an Italian. They are the best lovers in the world!

Last edited by boodhabunny; 07-01-2011 at 01:14 PM..
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Old 07-01-2011, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 1,291,994 times
Reputation: 2103
Quote:
Originally Posted by Childfree35 View Post
Not sure of her status. That's the thinking of some women. I don't play those games. On the other hand tho. I want to be treated well as I treat him. I don't play the "I'm the woman" card.

My uncle wasn't a romantic guy. Told my aunt, if you're looking for someone to tell you "I love you" all the time, I'm not him. He treated her like a queen tho.

People should learn to choose their battles.
Being treated "like a queen" is romantic, imo.
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Old 07-01-2011, 01:14 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,583 posts, read 17,137,228 times
Reputation: 28695
Quote:
Originally Posted by boodhabunny View Post
Our marriage is not one sided. Every day I do things for my husband to make his life easier and more enjoyable. We love each other and we both enjoy pleasing each other.

My husband loves giving me the "princess treatment". He just does. I guess it makes him feel good. There is a sparkle in his eyes when he dotes on me. He's a hard core romantic and I love him for it. Why would I not want him to feel that way? What is so wrong with that?

We're happy. I love doing things for him as he does for me. I do whatever I can to put a smile on his face but we are two different people. Our needs and wants are not exactly the same. We love each other and we show and express our love in our own way.

One sided marriages do not work.
When I talk about doting on my husband, making him things to eat and taking special care of him, not once have I ever heard a guy here say, "Oh, don't do that! What kind of high-maintenance, demanding prince of a man are you catering to?"

OP (sorry, I'm not sure how to recreate the bunny face), I liked the idea earlier of planning a small, sweet wedding in a little chapel or in a special place (like your beloved park, maybe?) with a few friends. Something small and intimate, with pretty flowers and a simple, lovely dress. Granted, I've never been to a city hall to watch a wedding, but it sounds so plain and bare, like you're going to pay a parking ticket. If that's what you want, fine, but you sound like you crave some romance and beauty. You can have a special day without spending a lot of money or making a big fuss, while still making some beautiful memories you will always treasure.
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Old 07-01-2011, 02:45 PM
 
4,900 posts, read 2,525,891 times
Reputation: 2447
SierraAZ,
Not everything is like what you see in the USA. If you have the ingredients, you can cook anything. But anyways, falafel, sushi, taco, etc. the point remains the same about what I wrote before.

Quote:
Originally Posted by boodhabunny View Post
Our marriage is not one sided. Every day I do things for my husband to make his life easier and more enjoyable. We love each other and we both enjoy pleasing each other.

My husband loves giving me the "princess treatment". He just does. I guess it makes him feel good. He pouts if I am not feeling receptive to princess treatment. There is a sparkle in his eyes when he dotes on me. He's a passionate man, a hard-core romantic who loves grand gestures. I think it must be the Italian in him. I love him for it. Why would I not want him to feel that way? What is so wrong with that?

We're happy. I love doing things for him as he does for me. I do whatever I can to put a smile on his face but we are two different people. Our needs and wants are not exactly the same. We love each other and we show and express our love in our own way.

One sided marriages do not work.

Edited to add: Ladies, if you enjoy being romanced and want passion in your life, marry an Italian. They are the best lovers in the world!
You love putting a smile on his face by receiving everything he does for you, right? Every couple does as they feel like it. Go for it.

I enjoy putting a smile on the face of the girl I am seeing by receiving AND giving. Some things are free, some things are not, some things require planning, other things are spontaneous, etc. but all the things we do for each other don’t have a label as to which gender should do it or not. That’s just how it goes and it works fine between me and the girls I date or had a relationship with. To each, their own, right?

Quote:
Being treated "like a queen" is romantic, imo
It is. Also treating a man like a king is quite romantic too. I have experienced it and is awesome to see a girl use her creativity to surprise me dropping by to my office with my favorite snack, reserving the table with the best view of the city and inviting me for dinner in that restaurant, surprising me with the best seats for a sporting event (depending in what country we are but it can be boxing, cricket, baseball, soccer, football, and so on), asking to borrow my car to take it to a carwash and surprise me when I go out and see a clean car, cooking something for me on a lazy weekend, invite me on a vacation, etc. I enjoy doing all these things for a girl as much as I enjoy receiving them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
You can have a special day without spending a lot of money or making a big fuss, while still making some beautiful memories you will always treasure.
But she has said women should be high maintenance, be a princess, be demanding, etc. So not so sure if this idea is something she would like to consider.

This reminds me of a dinner in Hawaii I had with a Japanese friend. We were walking in the hotel area and this fancy restaurant had tiki torches around the tables but nobody was seating there. It seemed there was a wedding in the hotel and those tables had no access since the doors to those tables were closed for the event but you could still have access from the pool if you came in from the pool door (not through the hotel). This girl and I bought something to go and walked to a table. We sat on the table surrounded by those tiki torches all for ourselves. Imagine, clear summer sky, nobody in that area but ourselves, the tiki torches, etc. just her and me. How much did that romantic date cost us? Just the food to go we ordered. After we were done with our dinner some other people started to come out and tables were being set around us. I suppose the place was opened again after the wedding, not sure. We ordered a dessert from that place after.
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Old 07-01-2011, 02:48 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,583 posts, read 17,137,228 times
Reputation: 28695
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
But she has said women should be high maintenance, be a princess, be demanding, etc. So not so sure if this idea is something she would like to consider.
As I said, I was speaking to the original poster. I don't think she said anything like that.
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Old 07-01-2011, 04:58 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,851 posts, read 51,273,878 times
Reputation: 22715
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
SierraAZ,
Not everything is like what you see in the USA.
Oh, good thing you told me! As if I'm not foreign-born myself.
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Old 07-01-2011, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Arizona & Wisconsin
4,816 posts, read 5,488,624 times
Reputation: 6188
Quote:
Originally Posted by >'.'< View Post
Originally Posted by >'.'< View Post
Ok, so my BF has never been the romantic type, but I can't help but feel disappointed the way he proposed to me.
Strike one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by >'.'< View Post
Since I am planning on being proposed to only ONCE in my life, I was just hoping it would have been a little more special than that. Hellllooo, a little planning would have been nice!
...
I told him that I dont think it was very romantic (I couldnt help it bcuz I feel disappointed).
Strike two.


Quote:
Originally Posted by >'.'< View Post
I just think that I would have rather him put more time into planning out WHERE he would ask me as opposed to what DAY he asked me....
Strike three! Hope he dumped your behind.

Ya know, I can't imagine the kind of person who would do something like telling their (maybe) future spouse that they didn't like the proposal. What a ****ty thing to do. It just amazes me how many people are undeserving of good things that somehow manage to come their direction.

Erasing your original post speaks to your maturity level. Grow up. I hope your fiance told his friends and/or family about your reaction so that they could warn him about what kind of person he's marrying.
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