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Old 06-26-2011, 08:22 AM
Status: "Mom of twins plus one" (set 21 days ago)
 
Location: J-ville, FL
218 posts, read 372,989 times
Reputation: 323

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How do you ask someone to stop talking to you about their sex life?

I don't mind the little comments about, "S.O. and I had a GREAT time last night!" 'n such.

But I have this person in my life, that constanly (everytime I see her), tells me about her sex life. She tells me in graphic detail. Now keep in mind her and her SO are NOT attractive people(IMO), so all the graphic detail leads to a nasty visual. Not that I want "pretty" people telling me about their shenanigins!

She is usually telling me these stories one on one, so it's awkward if I just get up and walk away. And when she's telling me these stories I'm not saying things like, "COOL!" She can see my face looks like I just smelled decomp! And I'll say " SHUT UP! I don't want to hear all this!!! BLECH" That doesn't stop it.....

So what should I say? Also, some why do people feel the need to discuss their sex life, in detail mind you, with anyone but their SO? Thanks everyone!

Last edited by saywha; 06-26-2011 at 08:34 AM..
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Old 06-26-2011, 08:34 AM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
7,916 posts, read 16,407,699 times
Reputation: 5442
I think guys are even worse with this habit and I have a few friends who tell me stories that I think are total bs in the first place. I generally ignore it or maybe make a smart remark about it but I must agree that if that's all they have to talk about they're probably pretty shallow people and it would make me want to spend less time with them.
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Old 06-26-2011, 08:40 AM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,216 posts, read 7,934,259 times
Reputation: 8412
Next time you see her, before she starts in, tell her that you don't want to hear about her sex life. If she still does, walk away. Seriously, just leave. She'll either get the message and stop, or you'll have still removed yourself from an uncomfortable conversation.

Sex talk probably wouldn't bother me, but I'd walk away from detailed descriptions of their latest medical procedure! That, I don't want to know!
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Old 06-26-2011, 08:51 AM
 
2,648 posts, read 2,509,205 times
Reputation: 3442
I'm not sure if its an age thing Montana but as I grew up a gentleman is always discreet. Not that I haven't seen it but most men my age group that I associate with do not do this and frown upon it as it occurs. Usually when I do run into it rather than graphic detail it is more a bragging ie "Yeah, I did er!" chest thumping thing. To me this has the opposite effect intended I think since my first thought is real men don't need to brag, they walk the walk without the talk.

As to the OP, tell her in no uncertain detail that you do not want to go there and be as firm as you must be to make sure the message is heard.
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Old 06-26-2011, 08:57 AM
 
12,445 posts, read 14,578,535 times
Reputation: 14160
Tell her you're not interested unless she's got pictures to back it up.
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Old 06-26-2011, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 77,156,710 times
Reputation: 22814
Just tell her calmly it makes you feel uncomfortable. It shouldn't be that hard.
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Old 06-26-2011, 10:05 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 21,996,637 times
Reputation: 23996
Ask her if she would be interested hearing about your sex life in detail..if she says,"yes" run!

Meh..some people just don`t stop and think, before they open their mouths. Tell her your happy that she has such a nice sex life, but your not interested in hearing about it. End of story~
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Old 06-26-2011, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 7,404,135 times
Reputation: 2945
Quote:
Originally Posted by saywha View Post
How do you ask someone to stop talking to you about their sex life?

I don't mind the little comments about, "S.O. and I had a GREAT time last night!" 'n such.

But I have this person in my life, that constanly (everytime I see her), tells me about her sex life. She tells me in graphic detail. Now keep in mind her and her SO are NOT attractive people(IMO), so all the graphic detail leads to a nasty visual. Not that I want "pretty" people telling me about their shenanigins!

She is usually telling me these stories one on one, so it's awkward if I just get up and walk away. And when she's telling me these stories I'm not saying things like, "COOL!" She can see my face looks like I just smelled decomp! And I'll say " SHUT UP! I don't want to hear all this!!! BLECH" That doesn't stop it.....

So what should I say? Also, some why do people feel the need to discuss their sex life, in detail mind you, with anyone but their SO? Thanks everyone!
Its always an issue, The ones that always talk about money, their ex and so on. If its not an issue, there are no details. If it were me I would say, wow! if I looked like you I would nail this one down and not let him get away.
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Old 06-26-2011, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Naptowne, Alaska
15,596 posts, read 34,570,857 times
Reputation: 14657
I run into this alot working in the oilfield. I usually just be blunt about it and say "Geeze you talk alot. Don't you ever just shut the ffff up"!

Works every time.
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Old 06-26-2011, 10:57 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,037 times
Reputation: 10
i think ....u can just show her that u are not listening carefully .....try to change the topic ...

once and again she will understand automatically ....no need to hurt her in frank way ....
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