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Old 06-28-2011, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,181,468 times
Reputation: 22098

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
Yes...it's also obviously about having a guy who will scrub my bathroom floor, do my laundry, pay for fancy meals out, and wait on me hand & foot...right?
You forgot surprising me with expensive gifts once a day!
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Old 06-28-2011, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,270,313 times
Reputation: 39688
Quote:
Originally Posted by calicali01 View Post
Well, lets just say I wish MOST people felt this way. But I'm telling you, if you're a single handsome male, and you have some status, the probing into your personal life and why you're single never ends.

It's not only tiring, but it's insults my intelligence because people assume my life is not complete unless I'm married, or somehow I don't even have a life because I'm not married; they could not be further from the truth.

Don't worry, it'll end. Long about the time your turn 45ish people will just start assuming you're gay
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Old 06-28-2011, 09:10 PM
 
Location: Silver Springs, FL
23,440 posts, read 30,707,278 times
Reputation: 15560
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Don't worry, it'll end. Long about the time your turn 45ish people will just start assuming you're gay
If not sooner.
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Old 06-28-2011, 09:18 PM
 
326 posts, read 705,742 times
Reputation: 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
This is my conclusion, I am 34, single, no kids, never been married, probably never will, I don't even understand why people in the USA are so obsessed with this very antiquated concept.

Some of the brightest people I know around my age are not married either and truly enjoying life, I have a friend who is extremely smart and educated and she has no desire to get married or have kids.

I am far from being wealthy but just because I am not married or have kids, I have enough money to do most of the things I love like traveling.

I don't even understand why most people get married anyways, it seems like most people do it because they have been pressured to do it by someone else or because society "expects" them do it, I could care less about what people or society "expect" from me.

Anyways, I would love to know some of the "rational" reasons why people get married.
You are not even in a marriage so how can you be so quick to assume that?
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Old 06-28-2011, 10:15 PM
 
10 posts, read 19,918 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
This is my conclusion, I am 34, single, no kids, never been married, probably never will, I don't even understand why people in the USA are so obsessed with this very antiquated concept.

Some of the brightest people I know around my age are not married either and truly enjoying life, I have a friend who is extremely smart and educated and she has no desire to get married or have kids.

I am far from being wealthy but just because I am not married or have kids, I have enough money to do most of the things I love like traveling.

I don't even understand why most people get married anyways, it seems like most people do it because they have been pressured to do it by someone else or because society "expects" them do it, I could care less about what people or society "expect" from me.

Anyways, I would love to know some of the "rational" reasons why people get married.
First I'd like to start with a question OP, if you're not married and never have been how can you make the assumption that "Being married sucks!"?

My reason: I wanted to. It's a tradition society created to unify people and define family groups. I didn't do it to "own him," or because "society wants us to," or whatever else people who detest marriage think people get married for. Nothing has changed in our relationship since we got married. I still feel the same about him and our daily lives are the same (we've been together 5 years.)

I like having his last name, I like feeling that much closer to him.

I have to admit I think people take married couples a little more seriously. It's nice when I'm on the phone talking with our cable company about our bill, or the doctor about my husband's surgery and I don't have to explain when they ask who I am and why I'm calling about the account "Well I'm his girlfriend that he's been with for 5 years...and lived with for 3." They take me more seriously, it's simply "I'm his wife."

If an emergency ever happened they can't dispute giving me information or allowing me access to him.
We are legally responsible for eachother, we can't just walk away (I'm not saying that people who are together for a very long time can just pack up there stuff and leave, I'm sure there is the same problem of dividing up of assets and property and emotional issues as well, but in marriage there's a whole lot more to breaking it off with all the legalities.)

Do what works for you, I wanted to get married. I can't explain why... it's just something I wanted to do and felt right to me and yet I have close friends that swear up and down they will never get married and don't understand why people do. That's okay, for them.

In this day-in-age it seems like people have to "not do" what "society wants them to do" (as most put it) and that makes them feel unique, and independent... but what's so wrong with people wanting to feel that unity?
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:57 PM
 
Location: NW. MO.
1,817 posts, read 5,784,393 times
Reputation: 1346
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
This is my conclusion, I am 34, single, no kids, never been married, probably never will, I don't even understand why people in the USA are so obsessed with this very antiquated concept.

Some of the brightest people I know around my age are not married either and truly enjoying life, I have a friend who is extremely smart and educated and she has no desire to get married or have kids.

I am far from being wealthy but just because I am not married or have kids, I have enough money to do most of the things I love like traveling.

I don't even understand why most people get married anyways, it seems like most people do it because they have been pressured to do it by someone else or because society "expects" them do it, I could care less about what people or society "expect" from me.

Anyways, I would love to know some of the "rational" reasons why people get married.
Our rational reasons were to spend our lives with a best friend who we enjoyed sex with. 23 years later and he's still the one person I'm most likely to want to tell something important to, go to when I need comfort, and I'm definitely still happy in the bedroom.
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Old 06-29-2011, 12:00 AM
ttk
 
79 posts, read 156,960 times
Reputation: 65
If the single life were so great, you wouldn't be on an online forum in your spare time.
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Old 06-29-2011, 07:59 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,087,307 times
Reputation: 42377
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parkerclassof72 View Post
Oh good grief
Pretty much!
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Old 06-29-2011, 09:59 AM
 
2,996 posts, read 4,768,989 times
Reputation: 1791
Quote:
Originally Posted by hindsight2020 View Post
Marriage is not a close second from giving your life for another...not a close third, or fourth or fifth. Not. Even. Close.

Marriage as we know it is a social wealth transfer construct of man, not in the same universe as the inherent selflessness of giving up your life for another. Which in essence does not make married people more righteous than single people. The sacrifice of 'fidelis' has nothing to do with a dumb piece of paper. The idea there should be economic punishment for the dissolution of marriage is bitter and petty anger borne out of human spite and selfishness. Modern marriage has NOTHING to do with "fidelis". NOTHING. Modern marriage is about REMUNERATION.
Have to disagree with your asessment of marriage ; it is NOT a construct of man but rather its from our Creator who established marriage to which the rest of humanity has followed. It is not a 'dumb piece of paper'...but the marriage license represents a declaration of ones absolute love and commitment to another for life...it is a decree of something very sacred , important, and precious to all concerned which should be honored and respected not only by the Marriage subjects, but by all of Society. It is sad when modern man/woman views marriage as a disposable 'commitment' . Marriage and Family is and always has been the backbone of any civil society and nation and any other alternative such as shackin-up pales in comparison which is wrought with numerous consequences .
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Old 06-29-2011, 10:30 AM
 
88 posts, read 233,913 times
Reputation: 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Well, sure, but that doesn't mean my family is like that. I was talking about my family and why being part of it has helped me have a stronger marriage. I see what is possible. It's not roses and rainbows all the time, but then again that knowledge has helped me stick with the tough stages.
Certainly, I wasn't saying that. I just believe most people from those generations keep their marriages out of convenience/comfort, not because they really want to be married to each other.
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