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But the thing is, both people suffer financially in a divorce. It's not necessarily worse for men than it is for women. There's still this pervasive idea that when a divorce happens, the man has to give up half of "his stuff." No, they were married, and it was *their stuff*. She lost half of it, too.
Or she gained half of what she didn't even break a sweat for. Remember, men are NORMALLY the ones that earn more.
Imagine you invest 80% while your partner 20%. Then you have a disagreement with your partner and that partner ends up taking half of the investment. Not sure if you would be totally fine about it.
But the thing is, both people suffer financially in a divorce. It's not necessarily worse for men than it is for women. There's still this pervasive idea that when a divorce happens, the man has to give up half of "his stuff." No, they were married, and it was *their stuff*. She lost half of it, too.
True...you have a good point there...
Of course, this is also material possessions -- but having to pay alimony and/or child support (and all fathers definitely *should* have to pay child support) on top of that can cause the ex-husband's standard of living to plummet enormously.
In a marriage you shouldn't be keeping score like that. It's a team effort and a partnership.
That's right. You don't keep score when everything is just fine. But when divorce comes that is what happens and men end up handing their ex half of what they worked for even when there are no children in the picture.
Just imagine it was a woman who brought the most in marriage and ended up handing her exhusband (who was, say, a gardener) half of what she worked for. See what I mean? But then again, normally, it is men who earn more in a marriage. Just wanted to give an example the other way around.
In a marriage you shouldn't be keeping score like that. It's a team effort.
Yep. My husband makes more than I do because I help him do it. He's going back to school to get his degree, which will help him get a promotion at work. Who's picking up the slack while he's there? Who helps him with his homework and makes sure he has quiet time to study? Who helped him get the job he has now, the one with the nice educational reimbursement package? That would be me.
I'm sorry since I don't mean to deliberately offend anyone, but somehow methinks the ladies putting forth the view that men do not drastically suffer financially when a divorce occurs are somewhat shortsighted and/or overpartial to their respective gender
Don't look at me. I didn't say men don't suffer. Only that it's not quite the lopsided scenario the OP and a few others are portraying. Both parties feel it in the wallet. Overall, however, women tend to feel it more, especially if there are kids involved.
And when there aren't, what Fleetie said nail it. Divorce among equals tends to be equitable unless one party did something wrong.
It's all moot with the "woe be unto men for the wicked evil women will bleed us dry" crowd. No one is going to marry someone like that anyway. Bitterness like that is dang near palpable.
Not sure how law works in the USA but do women also get legal perks if they are the ones who cheated? That is, do the still get to keep half of what the husband brought to the marriage, alimony, child support, etc.? Or does it depend on the state?
Yep. My husband makes more than I do because I help him do it. He's going back to school to get his degree, which will help him get a promotion at work. Who's picking up the slack while he's there? Who helps him with his homework and makes sure he has quiet time to study? Who helped him get the job he has now, the one with the nice educational reimbursement package? That would be me.
Sing it! Many, MANY women do the same. But that is another point lost on the "woe be unto men" crowd.
Not sure how law works in the USA but do women also get legal perks if they are the ones who cheated? That is, do the still get to keep half of what the husband brought to the marriage, alimony, child support, etc.? Or does it depend on the state?
I believe most states are no-fault, but others here are more knowledgeable.
Child support has nothing to do with anything.
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