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Old 06-26-2011, 09:24 AM
 
8,680 posts, read 12,576,170 times
Reputation: 15199

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
If I had no success with women, I would be the one trying desperately to get married, like many stupid guys out there. No thanks, I enjoy having female friends and casual relationships for now. It works for me, I can still have my freedom to do whatever I want without the nagging and all the BS that comes with being with someone.
First, a six-year relationship is not the same as being married. The legality of marriage and knowing that you can't just shake hands and walk away from each other makes it a whole different ballgame.

Second, your sentence about having freedom without the nagging and BS that you say comes along with being with someone says a lot about how unsuccessful you are with women. As in, you are choosing the wrong ones and assigning their bad behavior to the entire gender. A relationship with a good woman will not entail BS, nagging, or limited freedom.

If most of your experiences with dating and relationships are negative ones, the problem is with you.
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Old 06-26-2011, 09:27 AM
 
8,680 posts, read 12,576,170 times
Reputation: 15199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Did it ever occur to you that perhaps lack of passion and excitement, lack of a sex life, being together because of convenience means that you actually had a bad relationship instead of a near perfect one?
That, too! Exactly. Wow. Said it better than I could.
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Old 06-26-2011, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Iowa, Heartland of Murica
3,437 posts, read 5,241,161 times
Reputation: 3382
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzette View Post
First, a six-year relationship is not the same as being married. The legality of marriage and knowing that you can't just shake hands and walk away from each other makes it a whole different ballgame.

Second, your sentence about having freedom without the nagging and BS that you say comes along with being with someone says a lot about how unsuccessful you are with women. As in, you are choosing the wrong ones and assigning their bad behavior to the entire gender. A relationship with a good woman will not entail BS, nagging, or limited freedom.

If most of your experiences with dating and relationships are negative ones, the problem is with you.
Sure! Divorce rates in the USA are higher than 50% right now, all it takes is, the wife wakes up one morning and she is "bored" or "unhappy", next thing you know, divorce, why? Because marriage was not exactly like in the movies or the TV lol

Oh yeah, nagging and BS are not part of ANY relationship, sure! You either live in denial or your life is soooooo great!

And, most of my dating experiences and relationships HAVE not been negative, yet, I learned a lot from my past experiences and yes, the reality out there is not as great as you want it to be, if everything was so good like you want it to be, divorce rates would not be at 50% or higher.
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Old 06-26-2011, 09:38 AM
 
12,579 posts, read 12,492,905 times
Reputation: 8825
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
My main issue with marriage and having kids is the fact that they are mostly irrational choices, I majored in Economics and I am sure I think like an economist but before I make any decisions, I always weigh the pros and cons.

If marriage is failing more than 50% of the time, I just do not see it as a "smart choice", it is like saying, hey, I have an investment opportunity for you, give me 100K and I will try to double your money, however, most of the time, you will lose everything!

I was in a long term relationship (6 years), a near perfect relationship, we ended the relationship amicably mostly because we had different long term goals, she is still one of my best friends and we hardly ever argued.

However, during these 6 years I was able to see all the things that suck about being together for a long time, the lack of passion and excitement, a very slow sex life after 5 years (nothing like it was in the beginning), and at some point, being together was more like a convenience.

I can only imagine how much it would suck to be in marriage where there is constant conflict, alcoholism, kids, cheating, no sex, financial difficulties, I did not experience any of that, and it still sucked
It's because you and your SO lack(ed) imagination.
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Old 06-26-2011, 09:39 AM
 
1,300 posts, read 2,198,725 times
Reputation: 1281
Oh gosh! don't bother with him!

Obviously you're not getting enough female attention, so that's you're back with another brainless thread? What happened to that hillbilly chick and her mother you were screwing with...and you got the nerve to say "marriage sucks" because you don't want to be married for the first time?

Last edited by JustJulia; 06-26-2011 at 11:56 AM..
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Old 06-26-2011, 09:41 AM
 
12,579 posts, read 12,492,905 times
Reputation: 8825
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
If I had no success with women, I would be the one trying desperately to get married, like many stupid guys out there. No thanks, I enjoy having female friends and casual relationships for now. It works for me, I can still have my freedom to do whatever I want without the nagging and all the BS that comes with being with someone.
Hmmm.
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Old 06-26-2011, 09:46 AM
 
1,253 posts, read 1,740,781 times
Reputation: 2539
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
So - you had one long-term relationship and now you are convinced that marriage sucks?

Did it ever occur to you that perhaps lack of passion and excitement, lack of a sex life, being together because of convenience means that you actually had a bad relationship instead of a near perfect one? A perfect relationship does not mean you never fight. It does not mean that you are merely comfortable with each other. Every single day - I love my husband more and more. Every single day, we make each other laugh. Every single day, I can't wait to kiss him. Every single day, I'm so grateful that he is in my life. It's not boring. It's not just convenient. We have passion. We have excitement. We fight and we make up. Life is a journey and he makes every single day better.

Honestly, I don't know why I'm bothering to try to explain any of this to you. You don't start a thread titled "Being married sucks!" if you are looking for real answers.
Aww, this is so wonderful! I can't reputation you again, drat!
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Old 06-26-2011, 09:50 AM
 
19,081 posts, read 20,768,273 times
Reputation: 13377
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
This is my conclusion, I am 34, single, no kids, never been married...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
I majored in Economics and I am sure I think like an economist...
Maybe you would be working as an economist vs an office drone if you applied a bit of logic to your approach in life. For one, the fact that you've never been married, make statements that marriage sucks and it should suck for all, is something I'd expect from a kid, not a man approaching middle age. One commonality I find with people that make generalizations and extrapolate their wanting relationship lives onto others is poor life choices and crap experiences; misery loves company. We're not all that lame. Even if only 10% of all marriages are awesome, that's still millions of people who are cool with themselves and their partners. As far as your sex life dwindling after five years, that's on you and your ex. I've been with my dh for more than a decade and it still feels like we're just starting out. Why? Because we're not trapped into viewing reality through the peep hole many of you are glued to.

Any way, marriage was a good choice for us because my dh wanted to be married. He comes from a tight and functional family, so it was par for the course with him. We wanted to become family and marriage provides that. He's an amazing person and I'm lucky to have him; a fit, 6ft tall, blue-eyed, Dutch man with the energy of a 20-yr old. We also have better health insurance options, financial stability, emotional stability, health, and a person to crack up with at all hours with regularity. I probably wouldn't own my home if I were not married (due to caring for the property). So, now I have gardens, BBQs, a dog that I walk with every day (wouldn't have a dog without property), etc. Is this for you or anybody else? Of course not, but it's for us.
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Old 06-26-2011, 09:54 AM
 
19,081 posts, read 20,768,273 times
Reputation: 13377
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzette View Post
If most of your experiences with dating and relationships are negative ones, the problem is with you.
I tried to rep you, but have to spread it around. The above statement should be stickied on this forum. It's a fact of life many cannot come to terms with.
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Old 06-26-2011, 09:59 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 7,299,203 times
Reputation: 2944
Personally I like a blind eye approach to the subject. Marriage requires a non victim stance and with that trust. If you have loved and lost but the person your with does things with out the need for recognition, they might be a keeper. If they are aware of issues past and point out their deeds, perhaps not!
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