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Because it's taboo in western culture to talk about marriage in a bad way openly. This (online) is the only place where you can do it.
But why is it necessary to "talk about marriage in a bad way?" Especially for those with no experience with it? Even if it's not your thing, why the virulence?
Not aspiring to it is one thing...but if you feel compelled to trash talk the institution, there's something else going on.
Often, it seems as if people who don't choose marriage out of personal preference feel compelled to justify their choice, and that's where you get the "Oh, marriage sucks, it's evil, it's terrible," garbage...just people who feel they have to justify their choices. If you felt secure in your preferences, there'd be no reason to loudly and angrily justify them. You don't want to get married because it's not for you. Not because it's a terrible institution.
But why is it necessary to "talk about marriage in a bad way?" Especially for those with no experience with it? Even if it's not your thing, why the virulence?
Not aspiring to it is one thing...but if you feel compelled to trash talk the institution, there's something else going on.
Often, it seems as if people who don't choose marriage out of personal preference feel compelled to justify their choice, and that's where you get the "Oh, marriage sucks, it's evil, it's terrible," garbage...just people who feel they have to justify their choices. If you felt secure in your preferences, there'd be no reason to loudly and angrily justify them. You don't want to get married because it's not for you. Not because it's a terrible institution.
I see your point but it's actually the other way around, I have to isolate myself from older people because they constantly question me as to why I'm not married.
I don't get it, why do you married fokes, IN PARTICULAR WOMEN constantly bother young men who chose to be single?!
LEAVE US ALONE!! I don't NEED somebody in my life! I don't want to have babies! And there is NOTHING any wife can do for me that I cant go out into the market place and get it for myself.
I see your point but it's actually the other way around, I have to isolate myself from older people because they constantly question me as to why I'm not married.
I don't get it, why do you married fokes, IN PARTICULAR WOMEN constantly bother young men who chose to be single?!
LEAVE US ALONE!! I don't NEED somebody in my life! I don't want to have babies! And there is NOTHING any wife can do for me that I cant go out into the market place and get it for myself.
I could care less if you get married or not. And I'm a married woman. Don't get married. What difference does it make to me?
One would think that if you're so sensitive to having your choices bashed, you'd be the first to take great pains not to bash the choices of others.
I'm not married. I don't badger anybody who is about why they chose it, and I don't badger anybody who isn't in a long-term, cohabiting relationship like I am about why they choose to be single. I also don't have kids, and I've never felt the need to fling vitriol at those who do, or grill those who don't about when they're going to get on that. Who cares?
But, for the record, having a partner, married or not, really isn't about "having somebody to do sh*t for you." It's really not.
I see your point but it's actually the other way around, I have to isolate myself from older people because they constantly question me as to why I'm not married.
I don't get it, why do you married fokes, IN PARTICULAR WOMEN constantly bother young men who chose to be single?!
LEAVE US ALONE!! I don't NEED somebody in my life! I don't want to have babies! And there is NOTHING any wife can do for me that I cant go out into the market place and get it for myself.
Good Lord, angry much?
Last edited by kshe95girl; 06-28-2011 at 08:08 PM..
I could care less if you get married or not. And I'm a married woman. Don't get married. What difference does it make to me?
Well, lets just say I wish MOST people felt this way. But I'm telling you, if you're a single handsome male, and you have some status, the probing into your personal life and why you're single never ends.
It's not only tiring, but it's insults my intelligence because people assume my life is not complete unless I'm married, or somehow I don't even have a life because I'm not married; they could not be further from the truth.
Marriage is not a close second from giving your life for another...not a close third, or fourth or fifth. Not. Even. Close.
Marriage as we know it is a social wealth transfer construct of man, not in the same universe as the inherent selflessness of giving up your life for another. Which in essence does not make married people more righteous than single people. The sacrifice of 'fidelis' has nothing to do with a dumb piece of paper. The idea there should be economic punishment for the dissolution of marriage is bitter and petty anger borne out of human spite and selfishness. Modern marriage has NOTHING to do with "fidelis". NOTHING. Modern marriage is about REMUNERATION.
Well, lets just say I wish MOST people felt this way. But I'm telling you, if you're a single handsome male, and you have some status, the probing into your personal life and why you're single never ends.
It's not only tiring, but it's insults my intelligence because people assume my life is not complete unless I'm married, or somehow I don't even have a life because I'm not married; they could not be further from the truth.
Sort of like how it insults others when you say things like "why do you married folks, IN PARTICULAR WOMEN constantly bother young men who chose to be single?!" or "And there is NOTHING any wife can do for me that I cant go out into the market place and get it for myself."
As if all married people, in particular women, are all the same. As if my husband only married me so I can go to the market place for him.
If you don't want to be insulted, don't insult. That's what I try to do.
People choose not to marry for all sorts of reasons. However, it does seem that the ones that shout the loudest about it or put down marriage are the ones that are bitter or angry and seem to actually want to be married. The ones that really don't want to get married don't seem to give a damn about what others think or say. I know lots of people that are perfectly content just living with someone. I know some older people that have never been married and seem happy. But it does seem that most people are really looking for love. And love is more than someone going grocery shopping for you. I think you know that.
I'm telling you, if you're a single handsome male, and you have some status, the probing into your personal life and why you're single never ends.
The poor, misguided souls probably mean it as a compliment, and not something intended to offend. It may not be probing, it may just be making conversation. Although, if you respond that angrily about it, I'm guessing those attempts don't last long.
When I was single, I, too, got the "Pretty girl like you, single? Huh, that doesn't seem right, " thing too... not that big a deal. People think they're being complimentary.
And love is more than someone going grocery shopping for you. I think you know that.
Yes...it's also obviously about having a guy who will scrub my bathroom floor, do my laundry, pay for fancy meals out, and wait on me hand & foot...right?
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I don't NEED somebody in my life! I don't want to have babies! And there is NOTHING any wife can do for me that I cant go out into the market place and get it for myself.
