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Oh, and I refuse to belong to any church; DH LIKES my independence and ability to think for myself!
Good for you. My impression from my upbringing in the Church was similar. Hypocrits galour! Anyone with children who continues to tolerate the kind of abuse you went through is creating another generation of abusive and abused men and woman. Congrats on the escape!
I knew 6 months after the wedding. Before that, I blamed it on being young, stupid, and blind.
Took me 5 years to get a divorce. Every time I left him, or showed up with bruises/broken bones, the leadership of my church informed me that it was my fault, that I was too independent and intractable, that I should submit myself to my husband. Finally, the church paid for psychological counseling, from their own church psychologist - they wanted to prove to me that I was the problem and 'get me help to change'. After the Personality Profile tests, the shrink met with me privately. "He is going to kill you if you stay with him. He is mentally unbalanced and a psychopath; has no ability to feel emotions." Of course he didn't/couldn't tell the church his conclusions... I divorced the bum and hauled bootie; the church excommunicated me. He stalked me and the children for two years, untl I met my current DH who told him to go away and not bother us. Since my ex never paid child support (the church told him not to so I would be forced to return to him) my DH adopted the children, and we have been married now for 29 years...
Oh, and I refuse to belong to any church; DH LIKES my independence and ability to think for myself!
This disgusts me.
I am glad you made it out alive and found someone good.
# 1- When I came home early from work, found him in bed with next door neighbor.
#2- Six weeks into marriage, miscarried after finding a letter to his former gf saying he was sorry, but he had to marry me. Forgave him, 7 years, 2 wonderful boys later, caught him with her at hotel, they are now married and sweet karma says, it's a matter of time...
#3-Married six years, content till one day he came home and said he'd been sleeping with his kids momma...I was floored....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
I can't imagine this either... Here's hoping to a better #4 or just a better time single or whatever you need!
I realized I may be making a mistake before the wedding, but I kept hoping she would be monogamous after getting married and having kids. I was wrong. She treated our two boys badly and spoiled our two girls, and it seemed there was nothing I could do. Talking to her didn't help, suggesting counselling just pi$$ed her off, she wanted to control everything, including me. Guilt and her affairs finally caused her to file for divorce, the third time she filed in less than a year, I had enough and her begging for me to come back didn't work. She was an angry, mean, person and I lost everything, except my freedom and the smile on my face.
One caller said she knew she'd married the wrong man the day after the wedding when he threw out all her thong underwear while she was out and replaced it with "granny panties" When the shocked wife asked why, he told her "you're my wife now, not some tramp"!!!!
How long did this one last? That's pretty scary! I would hope she'd have been gone ASAP, and had the marriage annulled.
Was on a road trip today and got to listen to a radio show where the hosts asked their audience to call in and tell about the minute callers realized they had married the wrong person.
Some of the callers were very funny, but some were very serious. It was an interesting topic so I thought I'd pose the question here.
One caller said she knew she'd married the wrong man the day after the wedding when he threw out all her thong underwear while she was out and replaced it with "granny panties" When the shocked wife asked why, he told her "you're my wife now, not some tramp"!!!!
Anyone want to share what event or occurance led to a light bulb moment that you'd picked the wrong spouse?
I know this is old, but I never saw it!
At my wedding I knew. I stood next to him at the front of the church, before the preacher and our friends and family, and I knew. I was shaking profusely.
We had a son already who was a little over a year old, and not long before that, my father had passed. I wasn't working, and he was. My mom was still living at that point, but I did not want to rely on her.
I was 21 and I felt like I had made my bed and it was time to lie in it. I was pregnant with our daughter, but I did not know it yet.
I felt like I had no other options. When I look back, I had a million options, but I was afraid, and I wanted to do the right thing. We had been engaged for 4 years.
What a horrible feeling to stand at your wedding, a young girl shaking and afraid, knowing she was marrying the wrong man.
Just 5 months before that, right after y father passed, he started treating me pretty badly and he was awful at my fathers funeral.
I was on the wall about kicking him out then. I should have done it. I would have had 2 children, but I would have made it. I had no idea then that I would have, but looking back all these years later, I know in my heart that I would have.
My family would have rather helped me than have me marry him, any day.
What a mess. Twelve years later, I left him. Twelve long and painful years of being made into a person I was not and being treated worse than a dog.
Six years later I am very happy in life and in love. My ex currently tries to be my best friend.
I'm so glad I figured it out before I got married. I can't imagine feeling trapped, but I understand how it can happen.
I knew about 2 weeks before wedding. After he threatened to walk for the billionth time, instead of crying and apologizing (for something I didn't do), I shut down. Have never regretted walking away.
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When the shocked wife asked why, he told her "you're my wife now, not some tramp"!!!!
