U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
 
Old 07-03-2011, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,656 posts, read 4,526,034 times
Reputation: 1458
Problem is, some men can't come up with slick lies!! LOL, they have very weak, sensless ones!!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Davros View Post
OK. I believe you. He probably lied, but I'm a sucker for a slick lie.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-03-2011, 11:26 AM
 
577 posts, read 886,448 times
Reputation: 414
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal View Post
Oh, and another point, I still haven't heard from this guy. He blew me off about the date, if he was telling the truth, you think he'd call me today and explain or try to plan a different date, etc. And if he just didn't want to go out, he could've said so. I don't want to hear from him or care, I'm just proving my point that this guy was a flake from the start!
And that may be the vibe you gave to him that wouldnt give him any incentive to call you. You went in to it negatively and made your decision about him before you even had a chance to meet him. I understand you are frustrated but he may be just as disappointed with
your response or lack of if he truly did have car problems. He may have scrambled all day trying to figure out how to make the date happen but
couldnt... being a holiday weekend really would make it difficult to get a car fixed, rent one or even borrow one from a friend... most people have plans. He may be the nicest guy that is embarassed now about the situation and your reaction or lack there of. Self fulfilling prophecy for you... maybe you need to change up your response and you will get a different result?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2011, 11:31 AM
 
17,833 posts, read 16,902,597 times
Reputation: 17598
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal View Post
I give online dating a try just as a different way to meet men. I am very social, I'm outgoing, and I like to talk to people.
Me too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal View Post
But I think the men that are online must be socially inept, insecure, boring, weak, broke, or combinations of all of those!!
I disagree..at least, no more than the women that are also online. I have used online dating for YEARS...and have had very good results. If my current BF and I were to break up, I suspect I would try it again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal View Post
Only a few days ago, I got a message from a guy online, we texted back and forth and he seemed pleasant enough. Well, we spoke on the phone Friday, and he asked me out for Sat. (yesterday). We had tentative plans to have dinner around 6 or 7pm. Ok, so yesterday morning, he sends a text that his transmission went out and he's looking for a place to get it fixed. Now, I am very aware of lies and excuses, I've posted about that before, so I'm already thinking he's just trying to lay the groundwork for an excuse NOT to go out with me last night. So, I just simply send a text that said "that's a bummer, hope you can get it fixed", and that's it. I don't mention the date, or anything, and neither does he. Later on in the afternoon, he texts again that he's getting his car fixed and will be walking for a few days. I'm thinking "whatever", but I send a text that says "can't you rent a car?" he txts back "I guess so, if I can find one", so I wait a little while then send a txt "What time would you like to touch base?" (since he still hasn't mentioned the date or if its off,etc), he txt back "maybe around 5, I need to find transportation", I text "ok".
The whole time, I am fully aware that this loser had no intentions of going out with me, and he just won't cancel the date. He is just lying and making up a story about his car. Anyway, 5pm rolls around and he doesn't txt, and neither do I, at around 6p, he txt "No car :-(", and I'm like, whatever jerk!! I don't txt back or respond in any way.

My frustrations are: why, why, why do guys ask me out if they have no intention of following through? and why do they think of elaborate lies instead of just saying they can't make it? And I am so tired of hearing "Guys don't like confrontation and don't want to disappoint, etc", well, don't they know that when they make up stories and dumb lies that don't make sense its 100 times more disappointing than just saying they can't make it? or maybe they shouldn't pretend they are interested in me in the first place!!!

I am single, and it's getting pretty old, I meet men, but they just don't follow through or it never develops past the first date or a few txts. I feel that I am attractive, socialble, outgoing and I go places where there are all different types of people, I don't hang out in bars and I'm not desparate, I just would like a relationship with an adult, mature male who has his s**t together, can make decisions and is outgoing.
Am I destined to be alone forever????

sorry for the rant!
If you cannot communicate with someone via a real live voice (in other words, USE THE PHONE!) then you are asking for nothing but miscommunications. Any man (or woman) that can't figure out how to make a phone call and have a normal conversation, won't be finding much success in the real live relationship world.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2011, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,656 posts, read 4,526,034 times
Reputation: 1458
Default t

I don't think you're getting it, he didn't communicate with me much, so what else was I supposed to do? I told him it was a bummer that his car broke (if it was true) and I didn't go into anything negatively, I was planning on meeting this guy, we had a nice phone conversation and he seemed really interested. Besides, he couldn't called me and talked about his car issues and the date. Instead, he's sending me these pathetic 1-2 word texts.
In this age, if you want to go out with someone, you can find a way. He could have borrowed a friend's car, taken a cab, the bus, etc. There are other forms of transportation. I didn't offer to pick him up because I don't want to pick up a man. And he didn't even mention our date in his texts! Not once did he want to rescheduleor say he couldn't make it. He just sent a text that said "No car :-(" I think that was pathetic. and if his car story was true, he could call today and we can talk about another time for a meeting. I had no negativity whatsover, I just responded to his texts.
I think my responses were totally appropriate. He should've handled things differently.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasmine728 View Post
And that may be the vibe you gave to him that wouldnt give him any incentive to call you. You went in to it negatively and made your decision about him before you even had a chance to meet him. I understand you are frustrated but he may be just as disappointed with
your response or lack of if he truly did have car problems. He may have scrambled all day trying to figure out how to make the date happen but
couldnt... being a holiday weekend really would make it difficult to get a car fixed, rent one or even borrow one from a friend... most people have plans. He may be the nicest guy that is embarassed now about the situation and your reaction or lack there of. Self fulfilling prophecy for you... maybe you need to change up your response and you will get a different result?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2011, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,656 posts, read 4,526,034 times
Reputation: 1458
I agree about the texting. I think it is way overused. I'm going to start letting guys know that I don't like to text much and would rather communicate by phone-live voice!
And I'm sure there are some weird women online as well. I hear stories from my guy friend about his experiences meeting women online. But since I date men, I can only speak about the men online!





Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Me too.



I disagree..at least, no more than the women that are also online. I have used online dating for YEARS...and have had very good results. If my current BF and I were to break up, I suspect I would try it again.



If you cannot communicate with someone via a real live voice (in other words, USE THE PHONE!) then you are asking for nothing but miscommunications. Any man (or woman) that can't figure out how to make a phone call and have a normal conversation, won't be finding much success in the real live relationship world.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2011, 12:01 PM
Status: "Will soon be put on a long timeout" (set 23 days ago)
 
3,053 posts, read 2,367,903 times
Reputation: 2704
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasmine728 View Post
And that may be the vibe you gave to him that wouldnt give him any incentive to call you. You went in to it negatively and made your decision about him before you even had a chance to meet him. I understand you are frustrated but he may be just as disappointed with
your response or lack of if he truly did have car problems. He may have scrambled all day trying to figure out how to make the date happen but
couldnt... being a holiday weekend really would make it difficult to get a car fixed, rent one or even borrow one from a friend... most people have plans. He may be the nicest guy that is embarassed now about the situation and your reaction or lack there of. Self fulfilling prophecy for you... maybe you need to change up your response and you will get a different result?
Good points. I tried to send you a reputation message, but I accidentally hit return, and the reputation message that was sent was "T".
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2011, 12:02 PM
 
577 posts, read 886,448 times
Reputation: 414
Actually you didnt respond at all to his "no car" text. That actually spoke volumes from your end. I wouldnt call you either. He doesnt know your history of guys flaking... all he sees is someone who doesnt respond to his troubles. A word beginning with "B" comes to mind. Sure you both should have called instead of texting , you could have responded with "maybe another time then" and left the responsibility up to him to make another move and gone about your life. But your lack of response shut the door. Get rid of that old baggage you carry as bringing it into the new opportunities is really narrowing your chances of seeing possibilities.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2011, 12:05 PM
 
577 posts, read 886,448 times
Reputation: 414
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davros View Post
Good points. I tried to send you a reputation message, but I accidentally hit return, and the reputation message that was sent was "T".
Thanks
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2011, 12:08 PM
Status: "Will soon be put on a long timeout" (set 23 days ago)
 
3,053 posts, read 2,367,903 times
Reputation: 2704
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal View Post
I didn't offer to pick him up because I don't want to pick up a man.
I still don't quite understand why adhering to this rigid dating rule appears to be more important to you than meeting a nice man !

When he sent the message "No Car :-(" there 's a chance that he was telling the truth, and there's a chance that he was trying to get you to offer him a ride, but has some rigid dating rule of his own "never ask your first date to bail you out of a pinch --- it's better to move on to the next girl than to beg a stranger for a favor & embarrass yourself". I think if you really were into this guy, the smart thing for you to have done would have been to have offered to pick him up at that point.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2011, 12:15 PM
 
16,052 posts, read 7,960,044 times
Reputation: 11508
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal View Post
Well, for one, I don't want to pick up the man, and second, if my car is in the shop (which it will be next week) I have planned to rent a car. If I can be a responsible adult and rent a car, then a grown man should be able to do the same. And I think it was rude of him to just simply cancel the date instead of blowing me off, making a stupid excuse. And however the man communicates with me is how I communicate in return.
He didn't just "blow you off" his car broke down and he at least told you instead of not say anything to you at all.

And what if he couldn't afford to rent a car for a few days? transmission replacements costs money, and there's no planning when it just happens. I wouldn't even think about borrowing someones car because I'm probably not insured in his car, and if I wreck it, I have to pay for both my car AND his car.

But, from what I read, I don't think either one of you wanted this to happen bad enough, or else both you and him would have worked around his car problem. Good luck in the future I guess.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top