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Except that they never really truly mean they want to be friends.
"LJBF" is simply female code for "Get lost and never bother me again." In my own experience, it is just an excuse for them to dismiss you. But they almost always don't want to really be your "friend", either. At least, that's how it seems to work, here in D.C. anyway. I dunno about other places / regions though.
You aren't being put in the friend zone, you are being blown off. And it's not a D.C. thing. If all girls, including your sister, aren't interested in helping you I think you need to ask them why...then work on whatever is wrong.
Sometimes an ex will say "lets be friends" but they usually mean that as a blow off as well.
I'm not a woman, but from observation the friend zone is usually reserved for the less attractive guys. Some below average looking guys of course do pretty well with women, but usually the guys in the friend zone are not hot studly types.
Such guys are decent, reliable, good listeners, have some money (but not rich) and are eager to please.
Great to have around when a woman has a problem but not her idea of marriage material.
Except that they never really truly mean they want to be friends.
"LJBF" is simply female code for "Get lost and never bother me again." In my own experience, it is just an excuse for them to dismiss you. But they almost always don't want to really be your "friend", either. At least, that's how it seems to work, here in D.C. anyway. I dunno about other places / regions though.
10 times out of 10, that's what LJBF means.
I've been getting that GOD-DAMNED cliche all my life and if I ever took it seriously then I sure learned young what it really meant. Oh yeah, maybe one in thousands ever became a FRIEND (but with her, I have to think she has the attraction towards me somewhere and someday she'll let loose). Some of the LJBFS want to never see me again because they aren't attracted to me and don't have the brains to think an original excuse up and others have wanted to "use" me as a "male girlfriend" for my "great listening ability, caring, sensitivity, insight" but you can imagine my "tender" LOL response to some female trying to put a dress on me and bend my ears/ ask my advice about the guy she likes.
Thought this up when I was 17 and got the LJBGoodFS bit from a POS named Caryn, never got a chance to use it though.
Caryn-"Oh, just think of me as one of the guys (AKA "good" friends)"
Me-(Proposed idea to this)-"Duh yeah hokay sawright"
Caryn-"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh goody(What a jerk)"
Later that afternoon
Ring ring
Caryn-"Hay-lo"
Me-"Heyyyyyyyy Caryn. You comin wit us guyzzzzzz tanight"?
Caryn-(Peabrain starting to scheme.......guys? GUYS! I get to meet new GUYS!) "You waa waa waa waa want me to come with your friends?"
Me-"yeahbaby"
Caryn-"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. What are you guys planning on doing tonight?"
Me-"Well, first we're gonna do a little tackle football, maybe go over to Steve's and lift a few weights. Then we're going down to Joey's Bar, knock off a few dozen beers. Then we're going down to Times Square, take in some topless dancers, have a few more beers, then we go look at some porno at Tit-a-ria where we can see everything, and then we get us some hookers and we get laid".
Caryn-"I'm not not not not NOT THAT KINDA GIRL"
Me-"Well sorry BUT THAT'S WHAT I DO WITH MY GOOD FRIENDS"
You aren't being put in the friend zone, you are being blown off. And it's not a D.C. thing. If all girls, including your sister, aren't interested in helping you I think you need to ask them why...then work on whatever is wrong.
Sometimes an ex will say "lets be friends" but they usually mean that as a blow off as well.
There is nothing objectively wrong or defective with me, other than perhaps the fact that I am relatively inexperienced with relationships in general. One of the reasons I strongly suspect that my sister was reluctant to help me, was b/c she actually told me that I was "a social embarrassment", to her -- that she was "embarrassed" to be seen in public with me, and to have me present with her friends, again b/c of my inexperience. And I couldn't help thinking in retrospect that that perspective was kinda harsh and unforgiving.
You know this whole friend zone question is kind of silly. If I like a guy enough to be his friend, that means he is a great guy. Who knows why there is no passion or romantic chemistry sometimes? Sometimes there just isn't anything more than friendship, despite trying to have more. The guys I am friends with are guys that I care a lot about. I am there for them, and vice versa. No, it is not romance, but it is still something special.
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