Being the man/Wearing The Pants in the Relationship (dating, girlfriend, married)
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My future sister in laws on and off fiance irks me because he fails to be the man in the relationship and lacks common male etiquette. About 90% of the time she is the one that drives when they go out. When they last moved he even made her drive the Uhaul for 3 hours. Then when they do go out to eat he has no shame in arguing with his fiance about who is paying for dinner. He's not even poor, he does IT for the FBI. He works in IT and doesn't even fix his fiance's computer. When she was living with her parents their internet was screwed up and slow and he didn't do anything to fix it. I eventually fixed the internet for them.
When me and my girlfriend stop by their place he doesn't offer a drink or show any signs of hospitality. He's usually on his ass playing video games. When we offer something to him he's QUICK to take advantage. Once he helped us move and we bought everybody pizza. He ate a whole pizza by himself, luckily we bought 2 boxes.
He senses that her family does not like him because her mom only talks about the weather with him and her dad doesn't say a single word to him. He was telling my girlfriend he wants approval from her family. I wanted to tell him to step up and being the f'n man in the relationship. He's not really a bad guy but he just doesn't act like the man and take care of his supposed fiance. I'm thinking it's because his father wasn't around when he grew up, but I also know many guys raised by single mothers that are gentlemen.
Any adult should hospitable to guests and giving to a partner, but I don't like the phrase "wearing the pants". It denotes a leader. With that said, I drive the trucks when we rent them. I can drive and park pretty much any vehicle we use.
What does his fiancee--this is who, your girlfriend's sister?--think of him? That's what's really important.
You want him to drive, but maybe he's a bad driver. You want him to pay for dinner, but maybe he pays for other stuff. You want him to fix her computer, but maybe he's tired of doing that all day for work. The way you describe the guy isn't good, but he might have a lot of redeeming qualities that his girlfriend likes. She's the one dating him, not you.
Not helping out seems like bad manners but having a girl drive a truck, pay for dating expenses, carry things, open doors, take the initiative, romance her guy, ask a stranger out for a date or to meet again, etc. What's wrong with that? Sure, its not common in the west but I don't see what would be so wrong about it. Being nice to people shouldn't be labeled as a "man's job".
If it bothers you that much, then why don`t you confront him about it?
I mean, who wants a wuss to be married to your sister, who is disrespectful, and who wears a dress? Screw that~
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