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Didn't say women with jobs. My mother had a job until she retired. But she wasn't defined by her work. She didn't dedicate hours of overtime(unless she needed extra money) and she didn't put my father and children second to climbing corporate ladders. She left work at the workplace. It was a means to an end. You're not describing "career women".
If that is your definition then it holds as true for men. You are describing a certain personality type that is not limited to gender.
Didn't say women with jobs. My mother had a job until she retired. But she wasn't defined by her work. She didn't dedicate hours of overtime(unless she needed extra money) and she didn't put my father and children second to climbing corporate ladders. She left work at the workplace. It was a means to an end. You're not describing "career women".
Well, I work with scientists. It's more than just a job. It's certainly a career that requires significant dedication.
Both of my parents worked full-time outside the home. My mother wasn't the nurturing type in the first place, so I guess it was for the best that she worked. But I noticed that she not only 'had it all' she was having to do it all. I saw no advantage to marriage if I was going to grow up having to bring home the bacon, fry it in a pan and never let my husband forget that he's a man. Women are expected to be well-educated, goal-oriented, driven and successful, yet are still judged on their looks on top of it all. We have more choices but with that come more responsibilities and worries.
I agree. My mom was a traditional housewife and very nuturing. It was due to seeing her life that I took a different path. I have always worked and been independent but I also married and had a family. The problem I had was that most of the men (during that time and in my area) thought it was great their wife was bringing in a paycheck, but they wont let go of believing women should be responsible for traditional roles in addition to working outside the home. I guess thats why my marriages didnt work.
There is nothing wrong with responsibilities. That is what seperates adults from children. Dont fool yourself that women have not always had as many worries as men. If you are finanically dependent on another, their worries are your worries.
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Although it was aimed more at my late grandmothers' generation, I read The Feminine Mystique and it left me wondering what was so bad about being a housewife, unless your spouse is abusing you.
I havent read the book and I dont think there is anything wrong with being a housewife if that is what you want to do. Abuse is an issue in situations where gender roles are so defined that one is trapped and powerless to bring themselves out of such a situation or such behavior is just considered acceptable.
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The women in that book had no stressful commutes to work, demoralizing job searches, no rat race, no office politics, bitchy bosses and no annoying coworkers. But to each her own, I guess they got bored at home.
You make that sound like a bad thing. I would compare stressful commute to work with getting up and making your husbands breakfast and lunch and laying out his clothes, then getting the kids up, dressed, make their breakfast/luch and getting them off to school. Demoralizing to having to ask for money to buy personal items, and the rest to dealing with hateful demanding husbands making sure you have everything done to his satifaction and having to deal with annoying in laws, neighbors, school systems, kids, etc.
Intelligent, educated men tend to couple with intelligent, educated women. Neither need to be led. In order to develop intellect and garner an education takes leadership in one's own life, so it's unreasonable to assert that opposite action renders the same result.
It's impossible to have mastery over everything in one's life. Could you have taken classes in automotive repair and been one of the best mechanics at your local repair shop? Absolutely. But you decided to focus on a different realm and therefore when your "Check Engine" light pops up, you take your car to the shop.
Does that mean you are less of a person or incapable? No, it's impossible to know how to do everything. That's why there are specializations.
Do I know how to cook? Yea, I'm a decent cook. But when my SO and I are in the kitchen, it's her realm. She knows how to cook everything from traditional Asian cuisine to new-age American. I'm a follower in the kitchen and she leads. Same goes with anything related to the sciences.
On the contrary, there are many things she knows how to do, but I'm simply better at them. For instance, whenever we need to negotiate or argue something I take care of it because I'm better at it.
I could cook our meals. She could negotiate our car purchase. But we do what we do best and that produces a higher outcome.
@BKSnook. I think it plays out that way in most positive relationships, but I don't see where gender roles come into play. My husband shines in some areas and I shine in others. I tend to be good at fixing things and home projects. Clearly, that's not due to me being a man. I just like building and tinkering. My husband is the music guy in the family. If anyone wants to know what kind of speakers, woofers, etc are needed for an event (like for the small wedding we're attending) he's the go to guy. It just comes down to interests.
Those things will be done for you, hey, it's not like a guy has not asked you out before, right?
I have been asked out and I have done the asking. Sometimes he pays, sometimes I pay, sometimes we split. Sometimes he drives, sometimes I drive. No gender roles there. Does that cover your list?
Last edited by Cindy_Jole; 07-13-2011 at 02:44 PM..
I consider my husband more of the leader than I am but I wouldn't say that I feel led around. If anything, I feel like a mouse running alongside a Buffalo. It's hard to keep up with him and if I'm not careful, he'll run right over me.
Example: He'd rather beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. Is this a gender issue or is it just his personality? Sometimes I find this trait delightful but other times it can be infuriating. At any rate, I married him so now I'm trying to learn how to live with him without having a stroke.
I notice more women think more men are "gay" for doing things like having a garden, designing dresses(which male designers do anyways), or having a gay realtor.
Strangely, the same person does not want to think that if a woman takes up construction, goes into the military, or enjoys physical sports.
I notice more women think more men are "gay" for doing things like having a garden, designing dresses(which male designers do anyways), or having a gay realtor.
Strangely, the same person does not want to think that if a woman takes up construction, goes into the military, or enjoys physical sports.
Actually, they do. I was suspected of being lesbian when I was single for a long time, mowed my own lawn, changed the oil in my car, and wore short hair.
I grew my hair out, got married, and now the world smiles at me and nods their head in approval.
A lot of people just enjoy gossiping about other people for no good reason. F them.
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