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No, trust is about confidence in the integrity of someone or something.
Expectation is more of an entitlement mentality that people arrive at after they make an assumption. And assumptions usually backfire on us when we make them.
I would say, Phil, that they are NOT the same things.
However, it can be confusing because while not the same things, they can be so closely interwoven as to be almost undiscernable -- and that mistake can lead to confusion, more confusion and even more confusion, most especially when things change in a relationship (any relationship of any type) as they invariably must.
Someone behaves a certain way during a certain period and we come to expect them to continue with that same behaviour as a general rule. Often the subtle "within reason, of course" that we assign as caveat is actually based on a sub-SUB caveat: So long as the variation is comprehensible to me and meets my approval.
We trust someone based on our evaluation of their actions while we get to know them. Do they do what they say they'll do? Have they lied to us, or do we believe they would? Do we feel we can rely on them?
It's strangely easy to say we trust someone for "who they are rather than what they can do for us" but I think upon examination those waters grow murky. I don't trust someone because they are capable of fixing my car; I trust them because they've fixed my car and always shot straight with me regarding cost, labour, etc, and the car has always worked afterward.
It's still not the SAME as expectation; but if someone behaves in a way that allows us to trust them, we come to expect that continued behaviour.
No, trust is about confidence in the integrity of someone or something.
Expectation is more of an entitlement mentality that people arrive at after they make an assumption. And assumptions usually backfire on us when we make them.
So Assume leads to Expect leads to Disappoint? I like that idea.
... I mean, as an idea - not as a personal practice.
I've had people over the years tell me that I hold myself a certain way; the way I walk, stand, talk, etc. They further say that they feel they can trust me.
"To do what?" is usually the unspoken question on my lips. That leaves a LOT of unclaimed territory ...
So they make an inference from a brief observational period laden with assumptions and THAT creates an expectation as well as a proclamation - "We can TRUST him!"
So Assume leads to Expect leads to Disappoint? I like that idea.
... I mean, as an idea - not as a personal practice.
I've had people over the years tell me that I hold myself a certain way; the way I walk, stand, talk, etc. They further say that they feel they can trust me.
"To do what?" is usually the unspoken question on my lips. That leaves a LOT of unclaimed territory ...
So they make an inference from a brief observational period laden with assumptions and THAT creates an expectation as well as a proclamation - "We can TRUST him!"
... that's when I wink at their wives.
You are so bad
But then, I should EXPECT that of you by now since I'd already ASSUMED you like the ladies
Your answers may affect my personal life philosophy, so tread carefully please ...
When you trust someone, be it your relationship partner, friend, family member etc. and they break that trust, it's a nasty thing. On the other hand, when you have expectations of someone's behavior and they don't act as expected, it's also a nasty thing.
When you trust someone, you have expectations.
When you have expectations of someone, you trust they will act appropriately.
Are they the same? If so, how? If not, why?
sorry if i didn't read the thread, but think of expectations as an umbrella, where trust falls under that umbrella as one type of expectation.
However, there are other types of expectations that do not involve trust. For example, imagine you are at bat, and you have an 'expectation' of what the pitcher (an adversary) might throw at you. This is not based on trust, so much as it is anticipating someone's next move.
No, trust is not the same as expectations. As an example I can say that I meet someone and knowing myself, will chat with them for a while, and then ask myself if I trust them or not. Surprisingly, and naively enough, I have been known to think yes, I do trust them. However, what exactly I trust them with or about remains a mystery. Am I trusting they won't kill me, or am I trusting they won't lie to me? Say I meet a person that I do trust, but am unsure if he is a serial killer/rapist/psycho. Why did I trust him? I trusted because I felt like it. Because I FELT it. Nevertheless, I am pretty sure the guy is a killer. Oxymoron, or just moronic?
sorry if i didn't read the thread, but think of expectations as an umbrella, where trust falls under that umbrella as one type of expectation.
However, there are other types of expectations that do not involve trust. For example, imagine you are at bat, and you have an 'expectation' of what the pitcher (an adversary) might throw at you. This is not based on trust, so much as it is anticipating someone's next move.
Nicely put!
Quote:
Originally Posted by temptation001
No, trust is not the same as expectations. As an example I can say that I meet someone and knowing myself, will chat with them for a while, and then ask myself if I trust them or not. Surprisingly, and naively enough, I have been known to think yes, I do trust them. However, what exactly I trust them with or about remains a mystery. Am I trusting they won't kill me, or am I trusting they won't lie to me? Say I meet a person that I do trust, but am unsure if he is a serial killer/rapist/psycho. Why did I trust him? I trusted because I felt like it. Because I FELT it. Nevertheless, I am pretty sure the guy is a killer. Oxymoron, or just moronic?
You can even trust killers to do certain things, I suppose.
Trust, in a practical sense, means that you place confidence in someone to be honest with you, faithful to you, keep promises, vows and confidences and not abandon you.
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