Are relationships necessary? (dating, wife, marriage, women)

[twixcookie]

Are "relationships" necessary?
I notice at my age (I am older), people don't date. I can't say the last time I saw a single man my age.
The divorce rate is claimed at 50%, but if you look around, half of all adults from 18 to 99 aren't divorced. Most people who are adults are married.
So what gives?
Men really don't want to be married, and want their freedom, so why are so many married? I notice women, who constantly try to push men into marriage, and it seems so insane. The women want the marriages, and the men want their freedom.
Why do they have such a big need to be married? Some of them have had kids, so it's not about having kids.
Can't they be happy with themselves? Why such a need to succumb to some social conformity?

[lastra]

I am very happy that I got married. And I am happily married. I was satisfied by myself before - That was before I met my husband. I think that beauty of waking up every morning next to person that means so much to you is irreplaceable, and that's one of the things that you cannot do "by yourself". That, and many other thing.That's just my opinion though. But some people are not for marriage, they don't care about those things and what marriage has to offer. And I respect those people.

[dixierox]

Marriage does seem to be the natural progression in our society. However I see a lot of happy people who are thinking outside the box and living in "sin" as some would say (not me- I'm doing the same) but I have no ambition to walk down the aisle of doom.
I've seen a lot of people have wonderful long lasting relationships then, all of the sudden, tie the knot and then they split. I think marriage can put a lot of pressure on couples. It works for a lot of people and not so much for others. You have to do what works for you.

[Dave_n_Tenn]

twixcookie sais:
Are "relationships" necessary?

The word "Necessary" has different meanings inside relationships, and outside relationships. Often we think of relationships as those that are possible, right now, maybe tomorrow, or as a goal.... like marriage. I suggest a look at relationships, from the end of life... backwards.

I've often thought about "who" I want with me as I pass from this life. That is almost a no-brainer for me. My wife, and my kids. That moment, can be as a waste land of lost dreams, or a promise of going home. We enter this world uniquely bound to our mothers with nothing more than a breath... and exit the same way. What we have gained is of little value... for all we have , belonged to someone else. Our gain, will eventually be, someones else's possessions. What we are given and what we leave in this world is relationships. Legacies can have far reaching impact on the lives of others. What greater gift can be found, then to find fulfullment in a loving respectful relationship? Relationships are the most important things in life... and are necessary.

[Shopaholic]

I don't think they are necessary, but I do think that a lot of people want to find a life partner just for support if nothing else.

[LittleMissSunshine]

I know lots of single older men and divorced men and women of all ages.

I think relationships romantic / plantonic / family etc. are a very necessary part of life. We're social beings and I think it's natural to want to have someone to share things with. But there is nothing wrong with being single ( I am single right now ) and enjoying the company of others until you find the one that is right for you, at any age.

[Debsi]

Add me to the list of happily married people. Those that wish to remain single should, of course, but many of us find life more satisfying when shared with a partner.

Also, a simple google search will quickly reveal to you that the oft-quoted "50% of marriages end in divorce" statistic is a myth based on faulty logic.

[shuke]

The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.

- Anthony Robbins

[twixcookie]

Anthony Robbins has an interesting slant. The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.
You can't control anyone else, nor make them want you.
When the focus in our society is to remain single or having freedom, then it is kind of hard to have relationships outside of family and same sex friends.
Maybe it's the Mars vs. Venus thing, but I have talked to a lot of men who feel women are just looking to get married (to them) and I found that rather egotistical on their part. For me to assume all, some, or any, men are just dying to marry me, would be a real narcissistic projection.


I have heard married people do the [b][i]But some people are not for marriage, they don't care about those things and what marriage has to offer. And I respect those people. Remember, we were all on the same path as you. It is all timing, if you met someone you are compatible with.
I do know some single people and they do not wish to be single, but cannot find someone single or compatible in their age group. A lot who are older do not want to marry or remarry. So, when married people focus on the old "single because you want that"...it implies someone isn't willing to compromise or settle for less. Or the "she could be married if she really wanted to be."
Everyone who is divorced can relate with what the people in "great marriages" have to say, because we all went into it and unpacked our bags. I know I didn't get married to get divorced. I had someone say to me, "Oh, I would never, ever get divorced!" So, can she control her mate if he changes, or finds someone new?
When the focus is on just being married, which I think a lot of marrieds do, to conform and feel accepted, rather than having a best friend.
I am divorced, and do not know if I will remarry. I think I could bring a lot of good things to the table, as I am not perfect, but I have good interests and goals. I am educated, told I am attractive, but I didn't find many men in my age group even willing to date, they just seem to be too busy, or don't really need a woman's companionship. Maybe if they want friends, they go to other men. I suppose the motives do vary.
This isn't about marriage for me, it is about dating. You know, the old, "I will pick you up at 7" thing. I am not "out to get married." So I haven't been aggressive or joined groups or anything.
I was wondering if it is a demographic issue.

[Mooseketeer]

Most humans need companionship, whether friendship or "Love" and we seem to strive generally better when with others. It's a big, bad world out there and the way We form relationships is crucial to our mental and emotional development. I think bar a few hermits, we all feel lonely without others to share our joys, our pains, fears and feelings with. It does not have to be a husband or a wife but someone who understands you and can be there for you is IMO absolutely crucial.

Whether you need to be married or in a long term relationship is another matter but I do think most people do look for that special someone. Whether they find it or not or can deal with the duties and responsibilities associated with when they do ...

I know many single who are happy but they also have very full social lives. Those who don't seem a lot less satisfied with their lot.