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Had a decent job, went out a lot, dated a lot, knew a lot of people, gave dinner parties, good time all around. No computers then so didn't sit on my butt too much.
Had a decent job, went out a lot, dated a lot, knew a lot of people, gave dinner parties, good time all around. No computers then so didn't sit on my butt too much.
I wish that was possible for a 20 year old these days.
Some posters said my bad dating life will change when I get older. But that brings me to the question "What was your dating life like at my age (20)? And what's it like now?"
When you say my dating life will change, are you speaking from your own personal experience? Or are you just making a wild guess?
If you're 20 and in college, there will never be another time like that. Date as many people as you can, enjoy it, and don't worry too much.
Now, 5 years later, my social life is comparatively boring. I go big once in a while, but it's just different. There's always a responsibility hanging over my head and my priorities lie within my future instead of in the moment.
At 20, I was 2 years into what would become an 8 year relationship with a guy I thought I'd spend my life with but ended up in the devastation of the worst break up and heartache of my entire life.
If I could go back, I'd date more casually, dating all kinds of guys and not allowing myself to be tied down. I made all sorts of life decisions based on that relationship, including where to go to college, where to live etc. based on being close to him and I sorely regret that now.
I say live life and focus on fun right now. Don't get tied down so young.
Some posters said my bad dating life will change when I get older. But that brings me to the question "What was your dating life like at my age (20)? And what's it like now?"
When you say my dating life will change, are you speaking from your own personal experience? Or are you just making a wild guess?
Hmmmmmm.......20....that WAS some time ago but, I do remember clearly the good, the bad, and the ugly.....it seems to me that it was a bit simpler then. From what I understand, going on a date now is like going to a job interview. You had better dress for the "job" and bring your resume as all things will be scrutinized to the point where you might feel compelled to send a follow up thank you letter, text, or email. Quite sterile.
In OOOOOUR day, it was more about having fun. AIDS and other STD's are what happened to "Steve" and "Kevin" and not anyone heterosexual. While we all know that was/is a myth, it just "seemed" that way. Dating was less "dangerous" and sex, like today, was part of the equation. I just don't remember it being so heavily discussed and there were few, if any TV shows about the trials and tribulations of dating (i.e Sex in the City, Friends, and a whole host of other nauseating crap better left for Oprah and the Oxygen Channel...the Channel for idiots....)
No, the shows were more like Cheers where comedy WAS king and everything else was left to fate. Octomom and people like Lindsey Lohan and Brittany Speers along with that miscariage of justice, Casey Anthony chick were not all that common. Madonna might have been all the rage until she grew the hair like rapunzel under her armpits.....the only other major psychopath narcissist I distinctly remember might have been Sean Penn.....looking back, we look sophmoric in nature compared to today's cases....interesting....
Dating was more social. Not so much of a psychoanalysis of the female vs. male and vice versa debate. Both sexes seemed to know their role and moved on. Today, it seems that one might be tetering on the brink of pregnancy, rape (real or imagined, depends on how much cash the guy has and whether or not he seems inclined to "share" it), abuse (real or imagined), commitments, marriages that neither want or are prepared for, and a war and peace novel about each others lives that pretty much turns most men towards Hookers. It's just too self-absorbed and too much mental energy is expended towards it.
No, if I had to do it over again, I wouldn't. Today's datings seems to evoke the thoughts of guys like Francis Ford Coppola (the guy who was allegedly quoted as saying "Marriage? Find a woman you hate, give her half of what you own, and skip the rest") and others who have seen the enemy and the enemy is us. I don't believe there was ever a golden age of dating just different pressures predicated on the time.
Look at the bright side. If this question had been posed 100 years ago, you might have gotten slapped for asking and ultimately sentenced to a marriage you hated ultimately culminating in you looking like the gal on the old Corn Flakes commercial (Grandpa and Grandma holding a pitch fork...oh boy...)......Today, your opinons count and that is a good thing. You have the world before you and oddly enough, most of your generation believes that all too well. The generation slightly before me made the cash and moved the jobs overseas in time to "get theirs". Your generation is going to face a global competition like no other. Having an MBA just might mean you have more initials behind your name and that at least you can sleep under the security knowing that you will have a great, mediocre job with little future beyond that.
So, dont' be too comfortable. Enjoy your youth because believe me, they are right...when it is over, it's over. In our time, I did my level best to date around.....and I "dated" the heck out of anyone who would let me....heck, when opportunity knocked, I kicked the door down. I was always grateful for whatever females came my way and by God, I proved it at every chance behind closed doors. Their friends, relatives, in-laws, out-laws, whatever....hey, I'm as deep as a saucer, what can I say.....
So, get on out there. QUIT spending so much energy thinking about how, who and when you are going to flex those thighs....afterall, before long, you too will know the value of "baggy sweaters" and double-digit size pants.....show the guys what you are made of....literally....I hope you are a gal and not a guy or I just turned you gay.....not that there is anything wrong with that........long pause......
Seriously, here's a new concept. Go out there with one goal. Have fun. The rest will fall into place. All this mental masturbation is exhausting. The rest tends to sort itself out over time. I believe that the dating and intimacy does indeed get better as one gets older but, let's face it, who can't opine for the days of some starlet working you over in the wee hours of the morning.....
Ahhhhh.....they are right......youth IS wasted on the young.....
At 20 I was lucky to get 3-4 dates in a year: Little money, crappy old car and dive bars were the situation. I was in great shape physically and had fairly good self esteem but still I still felt slightly off. Fast Foward 20 years: 3 or 4 dates a week if I want. More money, several newer paid for cars, still like dive bars, hardly work out but don't really need too. Very confident compared to my youth. Never better!
I wouldn't go back to 20 again even if I had my resources that I have now. Maybe for my fitness but thats about it.
My advice is it only gets better with age. This may not apply to all but it applied to me. Get your degree or find a good paying job, don't get married unless you have to and if you do wait until at least 30.
Active. I hada pretty new pickup, that is about the time I met the ex... Later on it got serious... Against what my gut was telling me. I wish I would have listened to and trusted my gut then.
At 20 I was renting a loft in NYC, running my own successful business, working toward my degree and hitting on everything that came along. I was driving a Vette and a KZ-1000 and throwing insane parties.
Of course, that was all going on since I was 17 but I know that wasn't the question ...
Now? Now I'm a monk. No money, no car or bike, no loft. I live in a tiny apartment and eat sparingly. I have no r/l friends and few acquaintances. I only fool around when the opportunity presents itself and promises to go nowhere.
Does that help? Somehow I doubt that it does ...
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Some thoughts.....
