Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
To me (and I only speak for myself, so don't get all defensive everyone...)
If I have to pay (either dutch or the entire thing) on a 'date,' then it doesn't feel like a date so much as going out with a friend. I want and enjoy being courted and treated -- yes, it's old fashioned but that's what allows me to feel cherished and taken care of.
It doesn't mean I *never* pay for anything at all or reciprocate, but I'm not looking for a 50/50 deal. I have that now...with my girlfriends and platonic male buds. And I don't have to get all gussied up for them, which I would do for a beau/date.
Again, that's just *me* and I am not saying this is right or wrong for anyone else. I want to be with someone who wants to woo me and make an effort of some kind to do so. It doesn't have to be anything expensive or fancy either, though I do enjoy a nice evening out on occasion. It's about the level of effort and that someone wants to share their time with me and lets me know it in both word and deed. And I will show up looking pretty, smelling great, be a wonderful date, and all that good stuff that girls (and women) do.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,054,732 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo
Back a hundred years ago, women were on the fringes of the workforce, did low skill work or were so caught up with domestic duties as we didn't have the conveniences of modern America with things like dishwashers and washing machines and electricity and so on. Women mostly married young and courtship didn't last long because you didn't have the plethora of options modern transportation and communications provide us with today. You took what you could get and ran with it. And didn't matter because most people didn't live past 50 anyways.
So yeah without wealth, income, mobility or communication, I get that men might have needed to stump up for some courtship.
Things have changed. Modern women have every access to cars, phones, internet and have their own jobs and careers. To me it is ridiculous that professional women with full time jobs want men to pay constantly for dates, when often they might be earning more than the man.
It's like I find with a lot of this "feminism". Feminism is all about making certain thing they want "equal" but other things in their favor they want to keep the status quo. That doesn't add up. If you are going to have equality and fairness, it needs to exist across all levels.
And that's what I always enjoyed with Australian and European women, these issues never came up unless I forced or insisted the old style American ideals of paying for everything on them.
My thinking exactly. Men paying for dates is an outdated custom that made sense 50 or 100 years ago when men worked in the workforce and most women became housewives after marriage. If everything else is equal, why should things like paying for dates not be?
I prefer to pay for everything but due to my relationship my SO pays for everything and I mean EVERYTHING. On the brightside all of my money is saved and invested for my benefit.
well its prostitution if the only thing the woman offers in return, is sex, but that's the fault of the woman offering. I have a lot more to offer than my awkward body
I've never read about splitting hairs about dating as much as I do on here..weird. but I should know by now that CD is not a real representation of the real world. I really don't get why if anyone-man or woman, enjoys someone's company, why the dollar amount spent really matters? Money is so replaceable, who gives? isn't it the great company that does? meh..in fact, dating doens't even have to cost much. its not about money either, its about finding someone that's right for you. why is that such a hard concept?
LOL, spoken like a true gold digger. Money is so replaceable? Yeah ask all those people who got fleeced by Bernie Madoff if money is replaceable.
So you think it's about manhood? Or, are you saying you just go along with it because men think it's about manhood? In either case that would mean that manhood is correlated with taking care of women. And it's not like family, in how we take care of family. It's something else. It's a stranger taking care of another stranger based on gender. I wonder if this sets up a power dynamic in relationships that start out with this kind of behavior.
WOW! I think you and I finally agree on something.
Yeah it's 2012 and we are equal right? We split 50/50 down the middle. You want to be cute and courted and all that? That's nice, go find someone else then..I am not having any of that
Yeah it's 2012 and we are equal right? We split 50/50 down the middle. You want to be cute and courted and all that? That's nice, go find someone else then..I am not having any of that
If only that were true. Although the female rights movement is great and allows me to live the life I do I just wish that men truly had equal rights with women. Especially when it comes to the issues of rights to their children but that is a whole different thread.
No thread hijacking. If you wanna continue that vain of conversation just PM me instead.
If only that were true. Although the female rights movement is great and allows me to live the life I do I just wish that men truly had equal rights with women. Especially when it comes to the issues of rights to their children but that is a whole different thread.
No thread hijacking. If you wanna continue that vain of conversation just PM me instead.
Yeah I agree with you in regards to reproductive rights, but that is a different thread. As far as expenses go, you get to decide those from the start and no one can make you pay 100 % of everything with a gun to your head. It is true that some people expect men to pay for everything and that others expect the woman to pay for everything. We just have to find an agreement down the middle. This should be discussed prior to the first date...in fact..why bother going on a date where you have to spend any money...a park is free..just saying.
Yeah I agree with you in regards to reproductive rights, but that is a different thread. As far as expenses go, you get to decide those from the start and no one can make you pay 100 % of everything with a gun to your head. It is true that some people expect men to pay for everything and that others expect the woman to pay for everything. We just have to find an agreement down the middle. This should be discussed prior to the first date...in fact..why bother going on a date where you have to spend any money...a park is free..just saying.
This is true. I never considered dating until I had met the person for a walk in the park first. Out in the open, safe, relaxing. Better to get to know the person instead of paying for a fancy meal or movie first.
I will say however that one of my little quirks is when I do go out with my SO that I ALWAYS have physical money on hand to pay for our outing. Of course he never lets me pay but the feeling of security that I can pay if I need to is nice.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
