How long before she starts paying for dates? (Valentine, meaning, message)

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by onihC

Mod cut: Orphaned.



Anyway, how long before a woman starts paying for dates?

I think I responded to this at one point, but that post was lost. To reiterate, it will depend on the woman you're asking.

[Pikantari]

!

Originally Posted by onihC

That’s good but how do you do this considering how you have said before that you rarely ever pay for anything since guys don’t let you or beat you to it?



I guess you guys are really traditional. He takes care of expenses, you take care of house chores.
Yes, I suppose we are rather traditional. I think I kind of like it that way. I am on a job hunt, so I imagine we will share duties once I find something...


Just curious, are you also “old school” when it comes to house chores or do you rather be modern and ask your guy to also do his part with house chores? That is, old school when it comes to expenses but modern when it comes to house chores.



I wouldn’t really say it like that since each couple does as they like but I also prefer things to revolve around both of us, not just me, not just her, BOTH of us in all aspects of the relationship right off the bat. I guess we can agree on this. How long until a girl starts paying for my expenses? Since we start going out regardless of who asked who or who is the man/woman.

[hatgirl007]

She's not cool. What kind of woman really says that? Tell her you expect her to achieve more than she has at her age. LOL. No, just kidding.

I don't know how to explain the ratio because technically there isn't one. You should just feel when its time to give back.....don't quote me on this post. I'm having a hard time putting things together.

[Yzette]

Originally Posted by onihC

That’s good but how do you do this considering how you have said before that you rarely ever pay for anything since guys don’t let you or beat you to it?

Where did I say I rarely ever pay for anything?

Find the post and quote it here.

If you can't take the time to quote posts that everyone here can click on and check for accuracy, I can't take the time to answer your questions. Whenever you claim that I have said something, you will get the same response.

Also, I have been in a monogamous relationship for five years, so there are no "guys" in the plural. Please get your facts straight.

[onihC]

Originally Posted by Yzette

Where did I say I rarely ever pay for anything?

Find the post and quote it here.

If you can't take the time to quote posts that everyone here can click on and check for accuracy, I can't take the time to answer your questions. Whenever you claim that I have said something, you will get the same response.

Also, I have been in a monogamous relationship for five years, so there are no "guys" in the plural. Please get your facts straight.

If your post history was viewable then I would be able to quote you. The one where you say that the guys you date are so nice because they don't let you pay even when you "try". At the most you would maybe buy a drink. That's when I asked you why you weren't as tough to put your foot down and go "Hey! Enough is enough! Either I pay or else" remember we talked about that? Where I asked why so softie with that? Don't tell me you forgot.

[Ascension2012]

I am kind of blown away by how many women hold on to these antiquated belief that a man should pay their way. Feels like I just got in my time machine and travelled to 1912. No man wants to come accross as a cheapskate by being petty or pushy about the girl paying her share, but I can tell you that many guys appreciate the offer. So lets sum it up. Man should always pay, because:

-its the manly thing to do (actualy no it isnt. A real man doesnt need to pay for your time, or sex)
-women make .70 on every 1.00 a man makes (that is true, although it doesnt stop you from offering to pitch in every now and then)
-we bare children (this is also true, however I cant find any correlation between baring children and paying for dates)
-we have to get dressed nice and look our best for the date (ummm..so does your guy, or you wouldnt be dating him)
-he wants to take me out to get anywhere later that night (true, he is paying for sex, Its called prostitution- making you a hooker)
- he is taking up my valuable time (as if your time was any more valuable than his?)
- i dont want a 50/50 proposition, i have that with my guy friends (you dont want the 50/50 proposition when it comes to giving, but want to be considered equal when it comes to taking?)

So far that all i have. Ladies, please keep them coming. Im having a great laugh so far.

[xxbabeechick]

She's a golddigger because she expected you to pay when you guys went to Waffle House? Looks like she landed on a gold mine! LOL

I wonder how paying for the dates were dicussed (if it was). Did she just offer to pick up the check or did you awkwardly suggest that she might want to start paying for things? Because if it were the former, I'd highly doubt she would have a problem.

[dr74]

Oh geez...This is always a grey area for me...

I come from a home where I grew up being taught.."A woman never pays for anything" "If a man cannot afford to take you out, then he should not be dating"
Mind you I am 37..my parents are very old school....meaning they courted, dad paid for everything and then they got married..dad actually insisted on mom staying home to care for us and he was the MAN...NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE KING OF THE CASTLE!

Meaning he made all the money, he provided a good living for his family but this did not mean he did not help out with us, cooking, cleaning ect...pops left some big shoes to fill!


His first question when we started dating was "What does he do for a living?" Does he have an education? If nay were the responses he would say..."He was raised wrong and no daughter of mine will marry a low life"

So do I pay for dates? NO...
Do I have a job? A good one..
Do I or have I ever paid my way? Only when I was not into the guy because I tried to make it look like a non date...ewwww....

If it someone I like and I am dating? Thank goodness I have had the good luck to date men who would never dream of asking me to pay my way...


I.E.
I have been with my new bf for almost 2.5 months, he lives in the same city and I see him about 3 times a week..he would never dream about me paying!
Matter of fact he not only pays for everything, he buys me gifts...for no reason..he brings me lunch, brings me frozen yogurt before he goes to work...as an excuse to see me for a minutes before work..
He has starting obsessing over Valentines day since Jan 14th...really?

He asked me randomly via text on his break to make list of all my fave places to eat..I thought it was odd but I complied...well he started calling all these places asking if they took reservations since we both work..awwww...

He has asked me if buying me jewelery is too soon, sent me flowers on my first day back at work after my vacay...he is the most thoughtful, most wonderful man I have ever met...
And yes ladies he has a brother and he is single and was raised the same way...<3
-edit-

Mind you he is not rich..
He is A blue collar worker whom has been smart about his money..
he is district manager for some farm equipment co. however he also has his own painting business...and he does this on the side..he is currently painting Roseanne Barr's sons home in Santa Ynez..lol...it is small job 10 grand..but he is responsible, and takes pride in his work..

[dr74]

Originally Posted by misiu007

I am kind of blown away by how many women hold on to these antiquated belief that a man should pay their way. Feels like I just got in my time machine and travelled to 1912. No man wants to come accross as a cheapskate by being petty or pushy about the girl paying her share, but I can tell you that many guys appreciate the offer. So lets sum it up. Man should always pay, because:
lmao..you did not have to travel that far back...1950's would have been fine..
And to define that ladies expect it? Umm some do if they have been raised this way..and there is nothing wrong with it..
Matter of fact my mom gives some of the best advice and she stated to me once as well as my bff "little ladies do not pursue men, if the man is interested he will make it known"
I feel that holding this belief has saved me from making even bigger mistakes than I did with my marriage..
Do you offer to pay as a woman? Of course in due time but most certainly not upfront..Matter of fact I tried to py for movies 2 weeks ago just to see what my bf would say and I was pleasantly surprised when he stated.."What are you doing? put your money away" You are my baby and I will do for you because it makes me happy, when you turn down things I want to do for you, you hurt my feelings"

-its the manly thing to do (actualy no it isnt. A real man doesnt need to pay for your time, or sex)
No he does not..he does this because this is how he was raised..that real ladies do not need to pay for a date...if you are going to take your lady out then you are going to py for her simply because you can, because you want too and because making her happy makes you happy..
-women make .70 on every 1.00 a man makes (that is true, although it doesnt stop you from offering to pitch in every now and then)
-we bare children (this is also true, however I cant find any correlation between baring children and paying for dates)
-we have to get dressed nice and look our best for the date (ummm..so does your guy, or you wouldnt be dating him)
-he wants to take me out to get anywhere later that night (true, he is paying for sex, Its called prostitution- making you a hooker)
- he is taking up my valuable time (as if your time was any more valuable than his?)
- i dont want a 50/50 proposition, i have that with my guy friends (you dont want the 50/50 proposition when it comes to giving, but want to be considered equal when it comes to taking?)
I do not know who you have dated but this is not the pov that all men or women have obviously I have stated the opposite..

So far that all i have. Ladies, please keep them coming. Im having a great laugh so far.

You can laugh and guffaw as much as you like while the rest of us whom have men like this are getting treated well...so laugh away..

[phoenix_down]

I don't mind paying for the first couple of dates. But she must OFFER to split the bill. If not, she's done. This is 2012, there is no reason that women can't share cost of a date.