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Not necessarily entering another relationship, but definitely meeting other women.
It will help you realize she wasn't the best thing since sliced bread and there are girls out there who are just as pretty, nice and compatible with you.
What he's doing isn't necessarily wrong, it does work for some people, my advice is based purely on the fact that he said it isn't working, and that it left an "empty" feeling.
My guess is that he seeks the companionship of a relationship, and si not getting enough from a good old fashioned bonking.
It's my thoughts that the OP isn't as "over" his ex as first thought, and that's at the root of all his troubles.
It takes an instant to fall in love, but it can take a lifetime to climb back out of it again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
So?! He's just in touch with the general ways of this society!
It helps, though. Only that I don't know what you take up some day when you try to quit heroin because the situation is cumulative and kind of escalates... I think that's the day you become drug-free!
Well, see - same thing happens with women.
You start off on the easy stuff, stuff you can give up without any problems. Then you need more of a kick so you start playing with slightly harder stuff. That's the stuff that starts getting addictive.
You end up chasing the dragon until the end of your days because you think another relationship will make you feel good again, when the problem - and the cure - were inside of you all along. But by then you're old and bitter and jaded ...
You end up chasing the dragon until the end of your days because you think another relationship will make you feel good again, when the problem - and the cure - were inside of you all along. But by then you're old and bitter and jaded ...
That's why it's better to be drug-free, isn't it?!
That's why it's better to be drug-free, isn't it?!
The problem then becomes that we are human, with all the associated needs and wants built-in. We're not born craving heroin, but we ARE born with that random strand of DNA that tells us to be fruitful and multiply.
To me, the easiest way to stop thinking about an ex- would be to fill my head with something else, something NOT female. Collect stamps, raise chinchillas - heck, even stamping on chinchillas! - anything to draw the monkey-mind away from her. It would take a lot of concentration and will-power, but I think it would be better than auto-destructive hyper-imagining.
By "hooking up", you're treating the symptoms, but not the disease.
Just give it more time, and be on your own for a bit.
If you start another relationship on the rebound, then I can pretty much guarantee it'll go wrong, and one or both of you will get hurt.
there's nothing wrong with thinking about your ex, I often wonder how some of my ex's are, some of them we broke up on good terms, but at the end of the day, they're an ex for a reason.
Just take your time, and don't rush it. Enjoy the company of friends.
Love will find you when it's time.
Yeah and maybe (IDK but for me) find forgiveness, for yourself or something. I went through the same thing but it took a while until I stopped caring and moved on.
For those of you saying you don't think I'm over her, I have no interest in getting back with her and would never in a million years take her back after what she did and that's why I say I'm over her. I regret that it was a very nice relationship and that in the end, she didn't want it anymore, but that's not something that was in my hands, so I try not to let that bother me. I don't think it's jealousy, although I will admit, she left me for someone else and I did feel lonely in the beginning and felt the need to get into a relationship because of that. Then I thought I should reap the benefits of single life and go out and party with my friends and meet new girls but it was never enough. Months later, I now realize a relationship would be best for me, not to compare my ex to a new girl, but to have someone to invest time and emotions in.
Most of my friends think I'm crazy for wanting another relationship so bad when I "should be playing the field til marriage." But that's not me, not at this moment anyway.
Most of my friends think I'm crazy for wanting another relationship so bad when I "should be playing the field til marriage." But that's not me, not at this moment anyway.
It's good that you understand yourself that well. So few people do. You'll do OK I think ...
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