How to be More of a Girl's Girl (women, singles, husband)

[girl57]

Hey, I'm trying to expand my social circle (make more friends and I would like to get some ideas for how to make myself more appealing to groups of women.
Here's some things potential friends enjoy:
shopping
happy hours
walks
coffee
sports

Problem is I'll say I like shopping, sure let's go, but I feel like people can see right through me by the way I dress that I'm not so much into shopping. Not that I dress weird, I'll just get discount clothes from a cheap department store. I'm not into watching sports either; I just find it boring. And as much as I try to seem excited and into it when I go to a game, I feel like it shows on my face that I have no clue and it's just not my thing.

I like traveling, adventure, trying food from various cultures, reading the latest books, family activities, I can discuss current events pretty well. But people my age seem to be more into the former list unfortunately. What do I need to do to fit in? I have a few friends, but I'd like more because I find myself without weekend plans a lot.

So specifically:
-How should I act at sports events?

-What do women do when they shop together? I mean should you keep looking when your friend is in the dressing room? Stand outside and offer to give your opinion on how the outfit looks?

-What kinds of places are good for happy hours? Ones outside, a chain restaurant, ones with some kind of entertainment like a mechanical bull? I don't even think I could drink a full beer. Should I just get some kind of cocktail like a cosmopolitan or margarita? And how do I order it, do I just say margarita or does the server need something more specific?

Help! I'm socially clueless here! Please post your positive advice. I really am very sincere about this.

[Mr. Humble]

Originally Posted by girl57

Hey, I'm trying to expand my social circle (make more friends and I would like to get some ideas for how to make myself more appealing to groups of women.
Here's some things potential friends enjoy:
shopping
happy hours
walks
coffee
sports

Problem is I'll say I like shopping, sure let's go, but I feel like people can see right through me by the way I dress that I'm not so much into shopping. Not that I dress weird, I'll just get discount clothes from a cheap department store. I'm not into watching sports either; I just find it boring. And as much as I try to seem excited and into it when I go to a game, I feel like it shows on my face that I have no clue and it's just not my thing.

I like traveling, adventure, trying food from various cultures, reading the latest books, family activities, I can discuss current events pretty well. But people my age seem to be more into the former list unfortunately. What do I need to do to fit in? I have a few friends, but I'd like more because I find myself without weekend plans a lot.

So specifically:
-How should I act at sports events?

-What do women do when they shop together? I mean should you keep looking when your friend is in the dressing room? Stand outside and offer to give your opinion on how the outfit looks?

-What kinds of places are good for happy hours? Ones outside, a chain restaurant, ones with some kind of entertainment like a mechanical bull? I don't even think I could drink a full beer. Should I just get some kind of cocktail like a cosmopolitan or margarita? And how do I order it, do I just say margarita or does the server need something more specific?

Help! I'm socially clueless here! Please post your positive advice. I really am very sincere about this.

Really? Really very sincere? Gotta admit I'm skeptical, but I can be convinced if you care to try.

[PHENOM5]

this is a very cute and funny post...made me smile and laugh a little....just be yourself and do what you like in this world....what's put in front of you will be there for a reason...enjoy what you have and who you are, and don't try to be someone you're not...or then you will find yourself all alone or surrounded by fake smiles anyway.

[h886]

If you were one of these posters saying the only thing you liked was making outfits for your cats and water polo, then I would tell you that it was time to open up a little more. But it sounds like you have a pretty decent list, just not shopping and sports. Sure, you can fake it with shopping and sports, but it might be even better to join some meetup groups and meet people who enjoy things you actually do enjoy.

Happy hours are fun if you go with friends. Otherwise, what's the point? Can you look for friends at work? School? The meetup groups you're going to join?

[JustJulia]

I don't think you should do things you don't enjoy doing. It's great to try new things and be adventurous and open-minded, but if you don't like shopping or sports, that's OK.

Traveling - There are traveling clubs for singles. You could take a cruise or just look into local groups. Two female coworkers of my husband's just got back from nearly two weeks in Greece together.

Adventure - I live near Chicago and hear radio commercials for an adventure club for singles. They go skydiving, ziplining, rollerblading, snowshoeing, etc. I think they also do stuff like attend comedy shows ... lots of "out and about" stuff. You meet people who like the same activities you do. I don't know where you live, but surely there is something like it in your metropolitan area.

Walks - Join a hiking club at Meetup.com. My husband and I belong to one, and they go on two hikes a week.

You could take a cooking class or join a book club. Start a conversation with someone who seems cool or fun, and ask her if she'd like to have coffee with you afterward.

[Saberai]

Originally Posted by girl57

I really am very sincere about this.

Scoff* Yeah right.

How can someone be that insecure with themselves and socially inept, to be someone who they are not and do things they don't really enjoy just to fit in? Haven't we already outgrew that stage in high school?

[PatsCats]

Why not find people who "fit in" with you, instead of trying to fit in with others?

You say you find yourself without weekend plans, and you like traveling. Maybe call a friend on Wednesday and ask her to go with you Saturday on a day trip, maybe somewhere about an hour or so away. Do a little research on nearby towns you've never been to. Once there, grab some coffee, which you say you like, or have lunch at a "cultural" restaurant, maybe do a little window shopping, see a few of the local sights, then head for home. Nice little trip, got in a few other things you like as well.

Ask a friend to go with you on a little hiking trip.

Many years ago, when I was a regular at my local library, I wanted to go to a museum to see a particular exhibit, so I asked the "library girls" if any of them wanted to go with me. Four of us drove the 2 1/2 hours to a motel (we left late as we had to wait until the library closed), got up the next morning and enjoyed the museum, then headed home. It was a fun trip, and I still cherish the memory to this day.

Maybe skip the "fit in" part altogether and just get out and do some things on your own.

I lived alone for many years. I'm pretty resourceful. I had to learn to be if I wanted to get out on the weekend.

I wish you well!

[Capt. Dan]

If your "friends" dont accept you JUST AS YOU ARE, then they are not really friends.

[PJSaturn]

Originally Posted by Capt. Dan

If your "friends" dont accept you JUST AS YOU ARE, then they are not really friends.

What he said ^.

[Ro2113]

Originally Posted by Saberai

Scoff* Yeah right.

How can someone be that insecure with themselves and socially inept, to be someone who they are not and do things they don't really enjoy just to fit in? Haven't we already outgrew that stage in high school?

Way to kick them when they're down tiger.