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Old 07-26-2011, 02:43 PM
Location: Las Vegas, NV
5,737 posts, read 12,032,463 times
Reputation: 3848


If you and your SO are having a VERY heated argument and the other person hits you (as in physically, slapping, closed fist, etc) would you leave them or would you let it slide and overlook it if they apologize

If it happened a 2nd time, would you overlook it again or leave that time?
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Old 07-26-2011, 02:48 PM
Location: NY
8,990 posts, read 14,187,334 times
Reputation: 11320
From the perspective of being a guy, I would not leave my fiancee if she struck me in some way during a really heated argument. Chances are, I deserved it!

On the other hand, I really detest hearing about guys beating women and would hope that any woman that is struck in anger by her male SO that she would consider long and hard whether she is getting into an abusive relationship and should consider leaving. Maybe not right away, if it was a one time isolated incident, but to protect her heart and be prepared. (Which might be good advice for guys too, if your woman SO is beating you regularly, it is no good!).

For a one time situation, maybe a long talk about it after everyone cools off would be the first step in addressing it, and preventing it in the future.
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Old 07-26-2011, 03:03 PM
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,966,446 times
Reputation: 42368
I'd leave. If it were a slap or push, I'd examine my role in the incident and think about whether I could have done anything to de-escalate the heated argument. Physical violence is not acceptable, but neither is it okay to verbally attack another. It's not okay to yell at and belittle a person while getting in his or her face, and not back off when told to. Some people are intentionally as cruel as they can be in order to provoke the other, and if a slap or push resulted, they should be honest about their part in what happened.

Hitting with a closed fist, choking or anything along those lines deserves jail time. A person who does that is not the type to respond to de-escalation. That indicates a different level of violence, to me. That's the kind of stuff where someone ends up dead because dinner was late.
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Old 07-26-2011, 03:07 PM
15,187 posts, read 16,035,343 times
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After the first time, I would have very serious doubts about staying in the relationship because I would be fearful about ever disagreeing with him or doing anything to cause an argument. That would kill communication and without that, the relationship is doomed anyway. If he were open to hearing that and discussing what happened and why (not just apologizing), I might give him a second chance.

If I stayed after the first time and was hit again, I would definitely leave.
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Old 07-26-2011, 03:09 PM
Location: Way up high
14,072 posts, read 20,136,656 times
Reputation: 14320
I'd whoop his ass so it would never happen again
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Old 07-26-2011, 03:28 PM
Location: southwest TN
8,175 posts, read 14,249,488 times
Reputation: 14776
I made the mistake of staying after the first time. I will NEVER make that mistake again. And, I have to say that after 14 years this time around, I've seen no indication there will ever be a first time.
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Old 07-26-2011, 03:37 PM
Location: SWUS
5,414 posts, read 7,625,544 times
Reputation: 5781
If my SO and I were in a heated argument and she slapped me (I'd really, really just prefer to be punched) chances are that I probably deserved it. I would let it slide, and would probably let it slide a second time as well-that's it. In those cases I usually just make my way to another room or leave altogether to cool down before my thoughts are clouded.

Unfortunately, there has been a time or two where a woman was purposely in my face and would not leave me to cool down. Those are the times where I just leave, or (actually happened) made her leave. I don't respond well to that (and nobody does) and I did not touch her, but she DID pick up my pocket knife from the desk, and she DID open it with her hand around it, and I DID forcibly take it from her, which resulted in getting a nice cut on my arm from my own knife while I made sure she was just fine. Then again, there is no "proper" way to react to someone brandishing a (very sharp) knife at you.
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Old 07-26-2011, 03:40 PM
5,470 posts, read 8,160,530 times
Reputation: 7274
Women don't get hit unless it's LITERAL self defense (She is coming at me with a butcher knife to impersonate Lorana Bobbit or something)

That's not saying I won't 'restrain' a woman, but most likely I'll just walk.

2nd time I'd probably walk and keep on going.
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Old 07-26-2011, 03:43 PM
Location: The Milky Way Galaxy
2,256 posts, read 5,901,941 times
Reputation: 1505
I guess first off I don't hit girls lol so no I wouldn't hit my fiancee

Would I leave if she hit me? I doubt it...we'd actually both look at each other and be really surprised if she did hit me...I can actually picture myself laughing after getting hit too lol...not sure what I'd do next..
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Old 07-26-2011, 03:44 PM
330 posts, read 477,642 times
Reputation: 397
A man should NEVER hit a woman (and vice-versa, unless she needs to defend herself or her honour), first time is a warning, second time is the end of that relationship.
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