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Old 07-31-2011, 11:29 PM
 
875 posts, read 729,905 times
Reputation: 763
Real men don't cry.
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Old 08-01-2011, 12:02 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,287,265 times
Reputation: 11309
I'm crying right now
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Old 08-01-2011, 01:06 AM
 
Location: Wildside of Oahu
1,244 posts, read 1,429,800 times
Reputation: 1836
Default I love a stoic

My Dh has cried a handful of times in my presence. Each time one our dogs passed, a death in the family, being laid off. Those type of things I can deal with. But I couldn't handle a regular cryer. I don't cry very often and wouldn't be too fond of someone who did. I don't even like women crying around me.

As my Dad used to tell us, "STOP CRYING OR I'll GIVE YOU A REASON TO CRY!"
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:53 AM
 
11,001 posts, read 6,759,249 times
Reputation: 8235
My ex used to tell me that the tears would just come on their own and he was unable to hold them back. He used to cry a lot. God knows why. It never bothered me, at all. It was endearing.
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Old 08-01-2011, 06:57 AM
 
18,137 posts, read 13,614,270 times
Reputation: 14989
Death of a dog is a good reason to weep. Kinda why I can't watch movies about dogs or read books about dogs. I can't stand the ending.

Some will say even though the dog die it is a happy ending. What? Don't give me that!
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Old 08-01-2011, 07:11 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,287,265 times
Reputation: 11309
Classic. Real men do cry. It's the insecure wussies who pretend not to cry.


‪Flight of the Conchords - I'm not crying‬‏ - YouTube
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Old 08-01-2011, 07:23 AM
 
Location: 'Shangri-La 'mountains west of Wolf Creek, Oregon
12,220 posts, read 8,274,489 times
Reputation: 7636
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
My Mom had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.

She was given a month or so to live. She was at a nursing facility and was being treated through hospice care. All of this was just so sudden... I found her on the floor at her house had to get her in the hospital... dealing with doctors etc... trying to get all of the of her affairs in order, getting her apartment cleanup and her stuff moved.

IDK... I never cried through out the whole thing, I suppose I was too busy trying to get through "it"

One day we were visiting her at the nursing home and we were outside, they had a nice little courtyard garden area. I was there with Mrs. Chow and all of the sudden I felt this wave go through me... it was uncontrollable, I was shaking and trembling I almost had a complete meltdown....

I had to do everything in my power not to collapse and burst out in tears....

I've never experienced anything like that in my life.....

It's ok to cry bro. Crying is good for your inner peace.
I've lost too many loved ones.
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Old 08-01-2011, 07:39 AM
Status: "Grad school, year 2." (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: The Millennial Republic of Arlington, Virginia
14,718 posts, read 16,677,129 times
Reputation: 14976
Quote:
Originally Posted by Funny how? View Post
Nothing wrong with a guy crying. Girls think a guy crying is weak. Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.
Word.

Quote:
It's ok to cry bro. Crying is good for your inner peace.
I've lost too many loved ones.
I would be very worried if a guy DIDN'T break down during that situation. You have that much weight on you and crying a little helps to ease that.

Earlier in the year my father was terminally ill with liver cirrohsis. I cried myself to sleep almost every night. He was in Charlotte and I was in Ft. Knox and there was not much I could do about it. Plus I was underemployed and going through the process of setting up a new FT job. Then during the last week of Jan I was called in that I needed to go to NC right away if I was gonna see him alive. So I went and after seeing him nearly depleted of life. I broke down and busted out. When he actually passed I was cried out at that time. Thankfully I had a cast of real women (who were around my age of 22) around me at that time who understood even though I had previously told them that my dad wasn't the best dad to me.
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Old 08-01-2011, 08:24 AM
 
Location: Middletown, Ohio
1,572 posts, read 1,304,035 times
Reputation: 5135
Lightbulb Northsiiiiide! How Ya Doin'?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Northside904 View Post
The only acceptable reasons for a man to cry are as follows: Birth of a child, walking his daughter down the aisle on wedding day, graduations, recitals, etc. We had a regular on here that went by the name of captaincatfish, this dude was as hardnosed as they came (military vet I might add), he let you know off top that if he wants to cry at something emotional for him, he's going to do it and to hell with anyone that has a problem with him. But for a grown man to cry when he's arguing with his wife is the epitome of weakness. No woman is going to respect a man for that or if he cries over trivial stuff, then that's lame. Project the image of strength at all times, never let your enemy see weakness in you.
LOL...I gotta admit, I smiled a little when you called me 'hardnosed'...and you were there on the old 'men shouldn't cry' thread, when I laid it down about how I felt about that subject...I'm still here, though I don't post as much as I used to...I will still lay it out about how I feel, though---that part of my persona will NEVER chnage...

And to stay on-topic here...first a shout-out to Braunwyn---I got a little choked up reading about your brother, and like Northside, I give him huge props for dealing with the hand he was dealt...he sounds like the kind of guy I wouldn't have minded sharing a foxhole with (I'm ex-Army infantry) or taking a bullet for---and that comes straight from my heart

And to Chowhound...I've been there, man...when Catfish Sr passed away, I held it together all the days leading up to the funeral...but the night of, in the darkness, when I realized he was truly gone, I lost it...I'm talking deep, racking sobs...same as with my Mom---held it down up til the service, because I was trying to be 'the rock' for my siblings, nieces, and nephews...but once again, when I was alone, the enormity of her loss came crashing down---this was MOM after all---once again, I broke down...

This goes out to all who are here...everybody has their own separate, distinct way of dealing with emotion, and Northside is spot-dead-on when he says a lot of men (myself included) were raised to not cry...but I say this again, and Northside knows how I stand on this---I'm sorry, but if something moves me (say for instance a sibling or my MIL or wife passing away, or even at a movie or TV show that struck a chord in me) then the rule book goes out the window, and I will cry...and not be one iota LESS of a man for having done so...

That 'rule' sometimes makes as much sense to me as these cats who have those chrome or plastic 'nards' hanging from their trucks...real men don't have to beat their chests and holler 'I'm a mannnn!' at the top of their lungs...if you carry yourself a certain way, then people will KNOW you're a man, and you shouldn't have to advertise
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Old 08-01-2011, 08:49 AM
 
124 posts, read 80,896 times
Reputation: 177
Quote:
Originally Posted by captaincatfish View Post
LOL...I gotta admit, I smiled a little when you called me 'hardnosed'...and you were there on the old 'men shouldn't cry' thread, when I laid it down about how I felt about that subject...I'm still here, though I don't post as much as I used to...I will still lay it out about how I feel, though---that part of my persona will NEVER chnage...

And to stay on-topic here...first a shout-out to Braunwyn---I got a little choked up reading about your brother, and like Northside, I give him huge props for dealing with the hand he was dealt...he sounds like the kind of guy I wouldn't have minded sharing a foxhole with (I'm ex-Army infantry) or taking a bullet for---and that comes straight from my heart

And to Chowhound...I've been there, man...when Catfish Sr passed away, I held it together all the days leading up to the funeral...but the night of, in the darkness, when I realized he was truly gone, I lost it...I'm talking deep, racking sobs...same as with my Mom---held it down up til the service, because I was trying to be 'the rock' for my siblings, nieces, and nephews...but once again, when I was alone, the enormity of her loss came crashing down---this was MOM after all---once again, I broke down...

This goes out to all who are here...everybody has their own separate, distinct way of dealing with emotion, and Northside is spot-dead-on when he says a lot of men (myself included) were raised to not cry...but I say this again, and Northside knows how I stand on this---I'm sorry, but if something moves me (say for instance a sibling or my MIL or wife passing away, or even at a movie or TV show that struck a chord in me) then the rule book goes out the window, and I will cry...and not be one iota LESS of a man for having done so...

That 'rule' sometimes makes as much sense to me as these cats who have those chrome or plastic 'nards' hanging from their trucks...real men don't have to beat their chests and holler 'I'm a mannnn!' at the top of their lungs...if you carry yourself a certain way, then people will KNOW you're a man, and you shouldn't have to advertise
All of this. I'm so sorry for your losses, and for Braunwyn and Chowhound. I hate the general concept of "real men," because to me, a real man is an adult -- someone responsible, self-aware, and rational. None of that has anything to do with crying or other expressions of emotion. I don't even connect the two in my mind.

It's funny, because my husband was raised to not cry, something that caused a lot of strife between him and his parents. He was a naturally emotional person, and his parents told him to "toughen up." This actually kind of damaged him for a while when he was a teen and in his early 20s because he felt emotionally repressed. Eventually, he was able to embrace his natural temperament.
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